Hello Again
by Mulderette
Summary: Tony returns to the United States after his life is ripped apart.  Sequel to "Saying Goodbye".  Father/Son. ****Warning:  Major Character Death****
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This story is a sequel to "Saying Goodbye" which is a one-shot I wrote a while back. If you haven't read it yet, you probably should just to get the background for this story. I'm anticipating this to be long and very angsty. It starts off fast and there is a major character death in this chapter so be warned. Its a pretty sad beginning. Also, I was really vague with the medical stuff so I'd appreciate it if you could just forgive me on that. Thanks :)**

xxxxx

"Tony? I think it may be time." Ziva's eyes sparkled brightly as she spoke. She had been having the pains for the last couple of hours and now they were becoming more intense and regular. Definite contractions.

"Time? You mean the baby?" His eyes widened as he looked at her worriedly. "Isn't it too early?" he asked as his whole body tensed with nervous anticipation.

She smiled fondly as she shook her head. She had seen a whole new side to him as her pregnancy had progressed. He had been extremely loving and indulgent, positively doting on her, especially in the last couple of weeks, spoiling her with flowers and tempting little Italian pastries.

"_Are you trying to make me fat, Tony?" she had asked him one day when he came home from work with yet another treat-filled box from his favorite bakery._

"_You don't need to worry about that," he had answered, placing his hand gently on her belly. "You're perfect." _

He had been fascinated by the changes in her body, taking great joy in feeling the baby move and kick. He had also been constantly buying things for the nursery, cute little stuffed animals and baby DVDs. He had even bought a baseball glove and a Nerf football. She had laughed at him then, telling him their son wouldn't be able to use those for quite some time, but she honestly loved seeing him this way. She couldn't wait to see him in his new role as a father. He was so excited. She just knew he would be a wonderful father.

"Its not really early, only a few days. I think our little one is eager to make our acquaintance."

"Well, I've got to say, I'm eager to meet the little guy as well. Do you have everything packed that you need?" he asked, indicating the beige suitcase that was packed and ready by the front door. "Is there anything else I can get for you?"

"No, you just need to get me to the hospital." she replied, smiling up at him.

"That, I can do for you." He returned her smile as he picked up the suitcase and led her out of the house, eager for this new chapter of their life to begin.

xxxxx

They hadn't driven very far at all when it happened, suddenly and without warning. Another vehicle hit them broadside on Ziva's side of the car. Tony had no time to react, never even knew what happened as his world went dark and silent.

He was awoken by the sound of sirens and opened his eyes as the ambulance he was riding in lurched. "I...wh...what happened?" he asked the paramedic who was looking down at him and suddenly it all came back. Ziva and the baby. "The woman I was with. Where is she? Is she alright? Please, tell me. She's having contractions. Our baby is coming." He was on the verge of panic as he tried to sit up, but was firmly restrained as the paramedic explained to him in broken English that she was also on her way to the hospital. She had been alive at the scene of the accident, but that was all he knew.

Once they arrived at the hospital, Tony was rapidly shuffled into a room as he desperately tried to get information on Ziva. "I don't care about this!" he shouted at the nurse who was trying to take his blood pressure as he roughly pulled away from her. "I'm fine. Someone needs to tell me about Ziva."

She gave him a disapproving look as she mumbled something in Italian under her breath and walked out of the room. Moments later, a doctor entered and approached Tony's bedside. "I am Dr. Agostino." He spoke in English with a heavy Italian accent as he looked at Tony's chart. "I understand you have been giving the nurses some trouble."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be causing trouble. The woman who was with me in the accident...She's in labor. We were on our way to the hospital. I need to find out how she is, please." He spoke rapidly and gave the doctor a frantic look.

"You will wait here?" the doctor asked and Tony nodded. A few minutes later, the doctor returned, his expression very grim. "They have brought your wife to emergency surgery. That is all I know right now."

"Surgery? What's wrong with her? Why does she need surgery? What about our baby?" Tony was getting more and more agitated. He didn't bother to correct the doctor on his assumption that they were married. It would likely be easier if they thought Ziva was his wife. They would be married soon enough anyway. They just hadn't had time to arrange it yet.

Dr. Agostino placed his hand on Tony's shoulder in an effort to calm him. "Is there anyone I can call for you?"

Tony shook his head. There was no one he wanted to notify yet. It wasn't like anyone could get here that quickly. Those closest to them were an ocean away. Besides, he didn't want to worry people needlessly. Hopefully, everything would be fine by the time he contacted them.

"Well then, perhaps you will permit me to examine you?" the doctor asked.

"I'm fine," Tony stated.

"Yes, yes, I do believe you are fine, but why don't you humor me, just to be certain."

Tony sighed softly and nodded his assent, not paying any mind to the doctor as he performed the routine exam, which Tony was entirely familiar with. His thoughts were only on whatever was happening with Ziva and the baby and it wasn't until he noticed the doctor staring at him expectantly that he realized he must have asked him a question. "I'm sorry, did you say something?" Tony asked.

"I asked if you had a bad headache," Dr. Agostino repeated the question he had asked a few moments before.

"No," Tony shook his head. "Just a slight headache. I've hit my head before a lot harder than this."

"That is not really a good thing, is it?" the doctor asked, raising an eyebrow at Tony's answer.

Tony shrugged. "I have a dangerous job. It kind of goes with the territory. Where can I go to wait for news about Ziva and the baby?"

"I will take you up to the surgical waiting area," the doctor replied. "If you have any bad headaches, dizziness...

"I know the drill, doc," Tony interrupted impatiently. "Honestly, I'm fine and if I'm not, I'll see someone about it. I promise.

The doctor led Tony to the waiting room and left him alone. Tony was grateful that there was no one else in the room. He didn't feel like making polite conversation with strangers. He sat there for a seemingly endless amount of time. Every once in a while, he would stand up and walk around, painstakingly stretching his muscles which had started to stiffen up on him. His head was aching and his whole body was sore, but he knew it was nothing compared to what Ziva was going through. Periodically, he would toy with the idea of calling Gibbs. Once he even pulled out his cell phone and stared at it for a minute, but then reluctantly put it back into his pocket without dialing. He knew how fond Gibbs was of Ziva and to worry him needlessly would be selfish.

Finally, a doctor came into the waiting room. One look at the man's face was all it took for Tony to know that the news was not good. He shook his head mutely, unconsciously pressing back against the chair he was sitting in, as if trying to escape from the doctor.

"Mr. DiNozzo?" he asked, his tone gentle, his eyes sympathetic.

"Yes...How..how are they?"

The doctor took a seat next to him. "I am afraid that your wife's injuries are very severe. There is massive internal bleeding and her system is shutting down..." he went on and on explaining as Tony stared back at the doctor, tuning him out, not wanting to hear any more.

"Is...is there any chance at all?" he finally asked, looking back at the doctor pleadingly, begging for just a glimmer of hope, some tiny crumb to cling to.

"I am very sorry," the doctor said, shaking his head sadly. "There is nothing we can do except make her comfortable."

"Can I see her?" he asked in a whisper. He didn't ask about the baby. It was obvious to him what his son's fate had been. He didn't need to hear the words spoken out loud.

"Yes, yes of course. Please come with me." Tony followed the doctor down a long hallway, becoming more and more filled with dread with every step he took. Finally, the doctor opened a door and Tony took a deep breath before following him into the room. He stopped short when he saw Ziva lying in a bed, smiling at him as he entered. In her arms was a tightly bundled infant. Tony looked at her in confusion.

"Tony...come and meet your son."

"My...my son?" he asked, turning to the doctor in confusion. "But, I thought..."

"Sometimes miracles happen," the doctor stated. "Even in the midst of great tragedy."

Tony stared at the doctor for a long moment then turned back to Ziva and the baby...his family. He swallowed hard, battling against the emotions he could feel threatening to bubble over at any moment, as he started walking toward Ziva, his legs shaking as he did so. When he reached them, he sat down beside Ziva on the bed, being mindful not to disturb the many wires and monitoring devices attached to her.

"Take him, Tony," she said softly. "Hold your son."

He reached for the baby and took him into his arms, his hands trembling slightly as he did so. Their child...his and Ziva's.

"He's perfect, isn't he?"

"Yes..." he nodded. The infant was sleeping soundly, blissfully unaware of the tragic circumstances surrounding his birth. He really was a beautiful baby.

Tony turned his head toward her then, his eyes full of grief as he gazed at her. "Ziva...I..."

"Shh..." She put her finger gently over his lips. "It will be alright, Tony. You need to believe that."

He shook his head. "How can it be alright?" he asked. Nothing was ever going to be alright again.

A nurse came over to them. "I have to take this bambino to get a few tests," she said.

"Can't he stay with us?" Tony asked, noting the look of distress in Ziva's eyes.

"I'll bring him back very soon," the nurse assured them, then took the baby from Tony.

"I am so sorry, Tony..." Ziva whispered, after the nurse had left the room.

"Why are you sorry?" he asked, no longer able to hold back tears. "I'm the one who's sorry...we never should have come here."

"Do not say that," she ordered softly, taking his hand and clasping it tightly over her heart. "The time we spent here together has been the happiest time in my life."

"For me too," he admitted and hope suddenly surged through him. "Maybe they're wrong...maybe everything will be okay. We'll get married. We'll be a family just like we planned."

"The doctors are not wrong," she said as gently as she could.

"Ziva, please..." His green eyes were overflowing with tears that were now spilling down his face. "You have to fight. You can do this. I know you can." The doctors didn't know Ziva the way he did. They didn't know what a fighter she was. He could not accept what they had told him. They were wrong... they had to be...

Ziva smiled tenderly at Tony as she rested her hand on his cheek. She could feel herself growing weaker. She knew in her heart that she didn't have much time. He needed to accept this. "You have to be strong, my little hairy butt. You must be...for our son."

Tony nodded. He was trying with everything he had not to totally break down. She didn't need to see that. It was the last thing he could do for her. "I love you, Ziva, with all my heart...you'll never know how much."

"I love you too, Tony, more than I ever thought I could love anyone..." She felt so bad leaving him alone this way. She knew he was going to have a very hard time with this. "Tony? You mustn't stay here. You need to go home, back to the states."

"What?" He shook his head, unable to even focus on what she was saying. He couldn't think about anything other than the woman he loved was dying right before his eyes.

"Tony, promise me," she said, more insistent this time. He needed to be with Gibbs. Gibbs would know what to do. He had gone through tragedy himself. If anyone could pull Tony through this, Gibbs could.

"Okay...okay, I promise, Ziva. I'll go back home," he uttered the words automatically, not even thinking about what he was saying.

"Good." She smiled in relief as she tenderly wiped some of Tony's tears away with her fingertips. God, he was so handsome. Her heart was breaking at the thought of never seeing him again. "Our little one needs a name. Do you have any thoughts?"

"No...whatever you want is fine, except no more Juniors." They had talked about names, but hadn't settled on anything, having decided it would be better to meet their son and then make their decision, but every simple pleasure was being stripped from them. Now, he couldn't even begin to focus on a name for the child. Everything was happening much too fast.

"How about Nathaniel?" Ziva asked after pondering for a few moments. "It is of Hebrew origin meaning gift of God. He is the best gift I could have hoped for." She had spent a lot of time pouring over the baby name book when Tony had been at work. It was one of the names she had especially liked.

There was a brief flash of anger in Tony's eyes, fury at a so-called God who would take away his child's mother. "Nathaniel..." He managed a smile as he nodded at Ziva. "Nathaniel it is." He actually wasn't all that sure of the name, but the child could be called Nathan or Nat. He would deny her nothing right now, least of all naming her son.

"He really is a gift, Tony...it is a miracle that he survived." She was so thankful that Tony would at least have the baby. She smiled back at him, but her smile faded away almost immediately as she began to shiver violently and there was a sudden urgency in her eyes. Her complexion was so pale, it was practically translucent. "Tony, get him for me. Our son, please, get him now."

Tony fled from the room, calling for the nurse who assured him she would bring the baby right back to them. He hurried back to Ziva's side and crawled under the covers with her, gently pulling her trembling body into his arms, trying to warm her as he kissed her forehead. "The nurse will bring him right in," he said soothingly. "Just hang on Ziva...please."

She settled into his embrace, loving the feel of his strong arms around her. At least she was spending her final moments with him. If she had to die, there was nowhere else on earth she'd rather be.

The nurse came into the room and tried to remain detached as she placed the baby into the dying young mother's arms. This was the part of her job she detested. Here was a beautiful family which was about to be ripped apart forever. It was all very unfair. "I'll be back in a little while," she said, managing a smile before leaving the room, a single teardrop falling as she closed the door behind her. Sometimes she really hated her job.

"He is beautiful. Is he not?" Ziva asked, smiling down at the sleeping infant. She was trying very hard to just focus on the moment and not think about all the things she was going to miss.

"He is beautiful," Tony agreed in a choked voice as he clutched her tighter. He couldn't believe this was happening, This should have been one of the happiest days of his life, not the worst. He didn't want to let her go.

"You will be okay...you will get through this." Her voice was noticeably weaker as she spoke and she looked up at Tony, gently stroking his cheek, her eyes gazing at him lovingly. "Kiss me, Tony," she whispered.

He leaned down and gently kissed her lips. "I love you, Ziva." She smiled at him as he pulled away and looked down at their son. "Take good care of your poppa, little one. I will watch over both of you from above." She then gave a sudden soft gasp and her eyes closed. The heart monitor flat-lined as Tony stared at her incomprehensibly, his own heart pounding uncontrollably in his chest. "Ziva?"

Alarms began going off. Nathaniel opened his eyes and began to cry . Tony took the baby into his arms and stood up, his legs feeling like jelly as stared down at Ziva with tears streaming down his face. This could not be happening. This had to be a dream. It just couldn't be true. A bevy of doctors and nurses flew into the room and started working on her, urgent voices speaking in Italian. One of the nurses gently took the baby from his arms as he backed up against the wall, watching them, hoping and praying for some kind of a miracle, even though he knew in his heart that it was not to be.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there before one of the doctors turned toward him, a sympathetic expression on his face as he spoke. "I am very sorry," Mr. DiNozzo, he said. "We did everything we could for her..."

He nodded silently, unable to even speak as he looked away from the doctor and back at Ziva. She was so utterly still. She hadn't deserved this...none of them did...

"We will let you have some time alone with her."

The doctor then left the room followed by the other doctor and the nurses. Tony didn't meet their eyes. He didn't want to see their pitying looks. After they were gone, he slowly made his way to Ziva's side. He felt shaky and sick to his stomach as he stared down at her. He took her hand and stood there for a long time, just gazing down at her as tears trickled down his cheeks. Finally, he realized he just couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't stay in this room with her body. Ziva had been so vibrant and full of life. This wasn't her...lying there so still and silent...she was gone now...gone forever.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered as he leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. His eyes hollow and full of pain, Tony headed toward the door. When he reached it, he turned back to give her one last grief-stricken look before leaving the room for good.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks so much for your nice response to the beginning of this new story. I appreciate each and every review. Here's the next chapter. I'll try to update again over the weekend, if possible. Thanks for reading :)**

xxxxx

When Tony came out of Ziva's room, a very business-like appearing woman approached him. She very much reminded him of Dolores Bromsted before he had given her the Cherry Pie doll for her Secret Santa gift the previous Christmas. After that, Dolores had softened toward him considerably, had been downright friendly, in fact. This woman, however, did not look as if anything could soften her.

"Mr. DiNozzo, I am Senora Cotela," she said in a clipped tone, extending her hand and giving him a firm handshake. "I am very sorry for the loss of your wife."

"Thank you," he said softly. "Ziva actually is not my wife, but...we loved each other very much..."

"She is not your wife?" she questioned harshly. "Then you have no knowledge of her insurance information? We cannot release her body to you if she is not family. And what about the child?"

"MY child," Tony growled, instantly taking offence at her coldness and concern about insurance when Ziva's body was not yet cold. "He is my son."

"That is yet to be determined. We cannot just assume that to be true."

"What are you talking about? Why would I lie about it?" Tony snapped, his temper flaring.

"Why does anyone kidnap a child?"

"I...Fine." Tony deflated in front of her. He realized the sense in that, in spite of the turmoil swirling around inside of him. "You want DNA? You've got it. Set it up. Let's get this taken care of now."

"I will call and make the arrangements," she stated. "If you could get her medical insurance information, that would be helpful.

"I can give you the name of the company," Tony said. "I'm sure if you call them, they can tell you what you need to know." He coudn't believe they were talking about these mundane things when Ziva had just died. He couldn't believe any of this was really happening.

xxxxx

"How long will it take to get the results?" Tony asked the lab technician after the inside of his cheek had been swabbed to obtain the DNA sample.

"At least 48 hours. It could even take up to a week," the man answered him nonchalantly.

"A week?" Tony asked, a look of dismay in his eyes. "Isn't there any way to speed it up? I'm an NCIS agent, I..."

"I would appreciate it if you do not harass the staff, Mr. DiNozzo" Senora Cotela interrupted him as she entered the lab. "It will take as long as it takes. I do not know how you do things in America, but here, your bullying techniques will accomplish nothing."

"I wasn't bullying anyone," Tony protested. This woman was getting on his last nerve. It was very obvious that she disliked him and at this point, the feeling was very mutual.

"I heard about the trouble you were causing in the Emergency Department."

"I wasn't trying to cause trouble. We had just been in an accident. Look, I was upset. I just wanted to find out about Ziva's condition." He shook his head in frustration, realizing that trying to debate with her was pointless. "Never mind. I'm going to go see my son."

"You may see him through the glass in the nursery, but that is as close to him as you are going to get until we have obtained proof that you are indeed the child's true father."

"What? You can ask the doctor who brought me down to see Ziva. He heard her say that he was my son. I need to be with him. Someone can be right there with us to supervise, please?" He looked at her pleadingly.

She shook her head. "I am sorry, but that just is not possible, right now. Perhaps you should go home and get some rest." With that, she turned and left the room without another word.

The lab technician gave Tony a sympathetic look after Senora Cotela had departed. "She really does not mean to be cruel. I will see what I can do to get the results as quickly as possible."

"Thanks...I'd appreciate that..." Tony managed to muster up a glimmer of a smile before he left the lab and headed to the nursery. Once there, he stared longingly at hs son through the glass, managing to ignore the suspicious looks directed at him from more than one nurse. It was obvious that Senora Cotela had spread the word that he was public enemy #1. What he would have given to see Ziva kick her ass. He knew that was never going to happen though. He watched forlornly as a young couple entered the nursery. The mother picked up their baby and placed her into the arms of her father as they gazed adoringly at each other and at their newborn. Giving one last look towards his own son, Tony bolted from the nursery.

He found the hospital parking lot and walked around searching for his car. After about 15 minutes, he finally remembered that the car wasn't there. He had no idea where it was and it was likely totalled. He couldn't even believe he'd been looking for it here. What the hell was wrong with him? He was totally losing it. Tears came to his eyes and he had to fight to keep them under control. He walked over to the corner of the building where he found a relatively private area. Then, with his hand trembling he reached for his cell phone and pushed the speed dial for Gibbs' number.

xxxxx

Gibbs was jarred out of a sound sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He glanced at the clock before reaching for his phone. The caller ID read unknown caller. Unless it was a wrong number, 3 a.m. phone calls were rarely good news.

"Hello?" There was nothing but silence at the other end. "Hello?" he repeaated, starting to become annoyed. If this was a prank...

"Hey boss."

"Tony? Is everything okay?" Gibbs asked, fully awake now as he sat up in bed. He was greeted by silence. Gibbs' gut told him that everything was definitely not okay.

"Tony? Tony, can you hear me?"

"Yeah...I can hear you." His voice was quiet, very subdued. Gibbs had never heard him sound like this before.

"What's wrong?" Gibbs asked, wishing he could see Tony for himself. He knew if he could, he'd be able to get him to open up much faster than them being thousands of miles apart.

"I...she..."

"What happened, son?" Gibbs' gut was churning as he waited for the answer to his question. Just how bad was this? Part of him didn't even want to hear the answer.

It was Gibbs' use of the word 'son' that did him in. "She...Ziva's dead, boss...Oh God, she's dead." Tony's voice broke then and Gibbs could hear a choked back sob on the other end of the phone. He felt like his own heart had been ripped out upon hearing the news and he didn't dare ask about the baby.

"Tony? Tony, listen to me. You just hang on, okay? I'm going to get a flight out there as soon as I can. I'll be there as quickly as possible..."

"I...thank you," Tony replied. He felt selfish that he didn't try to stop Gibbs. He knew he should have told him it wasn't necessary, that he didn't have to come, but he needed him. He had never needed him like he did at that moment. He felt overwhelmed in a way he had never even fathomed before. He just couldn't do this by himself.

xxxxx

Gibbs didn't get much more out of Tony before hanging up other than they had been involved in a car accident. Tony was obviously much too upset to talk about it and Gibbs figured he needed to work on getting to Naples just as quickly as he could. The first thing he did was call Vance and request an open-ended leave of absence. After Vance heard the reason for his request, he granted it without hesitation. Gibbs then had to call McGee and let him know what was going on.

"Hello..." McGee's very sleepy voice answered the phone on the second ring.

"Hi Tim. Its Gibbs. I'm sorry to wake you." Whereas, Gibbs wouldn't hesitate to wake his team regarding a case, he felt bad to be delivering such sad news this way. At this point though, there just wasn't any other choice.

"That's okay, boss. What's up?"

"Listen...its not good news," Gibbs said. "I got a call from Tony...he and Ziva were involved in a car accident. There's no easy way to say this. Ziva didn't survive."

"Oh no...God..." McGee was obviously stunned and upset as several moments went by before he spoke again. Gibbs didn't press, giving the young agent time to absorb the news. "What about the baby? How's Tony?"

"Tony is understandably very upset. He didn't mention the baby. I'm assuming that he didn't survive either. I'm going to head out on the first flight I can get to Naples. I hate to dump all this on you, but, Vance has already approved me for leave. I don't have any idea when I'll be back."

"Its fine, boss," McGee assured him. "I'll take care of things here. You have to go to Tony. He needs you."

"Thank you. Its good to be able to depend on you. There's one other thing I need you to do for me. Abby doesn't know yet..."

"You need me to tell her," McGee stated knowingly.

"I would do it myself, but I really have to get out of here. I don't have to tell you that she's going to take this hard." He would have preferred to tell Abby himself, but she and McGee had a very close relationship. He had no qualms leaving the task in his hands.

"Yeah, I know. I'll go over to her place in the morning before work to tell her. What about Ducky? Does he know?"

"No..." Gibbs hesitated. He hated not being able to break the news to his long time friend himself, but the pull to reach Tony was so strong.

"I can do it, boss. I'll tell both of them."

"Thanks, Tim. I appreciate it. I'll be in touch." McGee had really been stepping it up as of late and Gibbs was very proud of him.

"Have a safe trip, boss...Take care of yourself and take care of Tony. Tell him..." Tim's voice trailed off uncertainly.

"I'll tell him, McGee," Gibbs assured him. "I'll talk to you soon."

xxxxx

Tony managed to keep himself relatively together throughout the telephone conversation with Gibbs. He had almost broken down once, but had quickly composed himself. He was beyond grateful that Gibbs was coming. He knew he could count on Gibbs in a way he had never been able to count on his father. Even if he wanted to tell his father what had happened, he knew it wouldn't be easy to track him down. It didn't matter though because he didn't have any intention of telling him, at least not now.

After he got off the phone with Gibbs, he walked to the front of the hospital and got a taxi to bring him back home. He could feel himself beginning to tense as the taxi approached the villa. Ziva had adored it, thought it was the ideal place for them to start raising their child. Now, what had seemed the perfect place to start their life as a family together was just a reminder of what was never to be. He had promised Ziva he would go back to the United States, but even if he hadn't made that promise, he would have anyhow. He no longer wanted to be in Italy. It had lost all appeal to him.

The taxi dropped Tony off and he took a deep breath before entering the villa. Ziva had wanted them to buy it, but he had convinced her that it was more prudent to rent the house, at least until they were certain that they really wanted to be in Italy long-term. Now he was especially glad that they hadn't become involved in anything that would have been difficult to get out of. The owner of the villa was friendly and had liked them. Tony was pretty sure he would be understanding in terms of him getting out of the lease in light of what had happened.

He sat down on the living room sofa and lightly fingered the afgan that had been a favorite of Ziva's. The house seemed so empty now...lonesome. He was so used to coming home at the end of the day and seeing her sitting on the sofa, all wrapped up in the afgan, smiling up at him. He would never be able to look at this place the same way again. Feeling slightly chilled, he covered himself with the afgan and stretched out on the sofa before he eventually fell into a troubled sleep.

xxxxx

Gibbs settled down into his seat and closed his eyes as he waited for the plane to take off. He was going to be flying into Philadelphia where he would get a flight to Rome and from there he would fly to Naples. If all went well and he made the connecting flights as scheduled, he would arrive in Naples in about 13 hours. He had called Tony to let him know his flight information, but his phone had gone straight to voicemail. Gibbs had left a detailed message and hung up. He just hoped and prayed that the younger man was hanging in there and knew he wouldn't feel any better until he was with Tony and could see for himself what kind of shape he was in.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thanks so much to those of you who are reading and reviewing and to the anonymous reviewers as well who I couldn't respond to personally. I really appreciate your support more than I can say and are glad you are giving this one a chance, despite how you may or may not feel about the Ziva & Tony pairing. Thank you :)**

**xxxxx**

Tony slept for a couple of hours or so, waking up at noon. He pretty much felt like crap at that point. His head was aching and his stomach was not at its best. Just the thought of eating made him feel nauseous. He took a quick shower and changed his clothes, then called for a taxi to take him into NCIS headquarters. He needed to speak to the director of the Naples field office, as well as his team, and inform them of what had happened. On the way there, he pulled his cell phone out from his jacket pocket and noticed that it had somehow gotten turned off. He turned it on and listened to the message from Gibbs, learning that his flight would supposedly be getting in at around 2 a.m. He felt badly that he couldn't even go pick the man up at the airport after he had gone out of his way to fly in so quickly. It would probably be a good idea to get a rental.

Tony arrived at headquarters and fortunately the director was available for him to meet with right away. He was extremely sympathetic to what had happened and refused to accept Tony's resignation, urging him to at least take a little bit of time to think it over before reaching such a drastic decision. Tony said that he would think about it for a few more days, but he knew in his heart that he wouldn't be changing his mind. The director also offered Tony the use of another company car which he gratefully accepted. He also learned that he had been absolved of any blame for the accident. Although he knew it hadn't been his fault, it was still a relief to have it officially stated for the record.

Tony then went to speak with his team. Of course, he didn't even know them all that well yet. He had only been in Italy for a few weeks, but they were a great group of guys who had gone out of their way to make Tony feel comfortable. It had been a little bit different in that there was not a female team member, but it had been going well. Everyone expressed their sincere condolences for what had happened and Tony let them know he would be in touch within the next few days. He then went to retrieve the car he and headed to the hospital in hopes that maybe he could persuade Senora Cotela to let him spend some time with Nathaniel.

xxxxx

Tim nervously stood outside Abby's apartment, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for her to come to the door.

"Timmy! What are you doing here?" Abby asked exuberantly as she flung the door opened and smiled at him. "Did you come to take me out to breakfast?"

"No...no, nothing as nice as that, I'm afraid," Tim said. "Abby, can I come in? I need to talk to you."

She knew immediately that something awful had happened and she somberly stood aside so that Tim could enter the apartment. "Is it Gibbs?" She finally asked, her whole body tense with fear. "Did something happen to him?"

"No...its not Gibbs." Tim put his arm around her and led her to the sofa. He then waited for her to sit down before taking a seat next to her.

"Who?" she questioned, gazing at him intently.

Tim took a deep breath. "There was a car accident in Italy..."

"Oh my God! Tony?" Tears immediately welled in Abby's eyes.

"No...no, its not Tony either," Tim said quickly. "It...its Ziva, Abs. She was killed."

She stared back at him silently as tears trailed down her cheeks. "The baby?" she finally asked woefully.

Tim shook his head sadly. Gibbs didn't think the baby survived either..."

"Oh my God..." the tears were falling fast and furiously now as she buried her face against McGee's chest and began to sob. "How could this happen?" she asked. "How?"

"I don't know, Abs," he murmured as he rubbed her back soothingly. "I just don't know..."

xxxxx

As it turned out, Tony did not get a chance to speak with Senora Cotela. She had gone home and would not be returning until the following morning. He went back to the nursery and resumed forlornly staring at Nathaniel from behind the glass. While most of the nurses glared at him suspiciously though, there was one who did not. She was a nurse of about 60 years of age and she was watching Tony intently as he gazed at his son. There was no doubt in her mind that he was the child's father and it was more than the fact that they shared the same nose and chin. Over the years, she had developed very good instincts when it came to judging people and they told her that this man was telling the truth. She also believed the child's mother had not lied either, though she had nothing at all to base this on other than a gut feeling. Fnally, she decided to approach him.

"Agent DiNozzo?"

"Yes," he turned toward her to find a grandmotherly-appearing nurse who spoke with a charming Italian accent. "Can I help you?"

"No, it is I who would like to help you," she said, keeping her voice low. "Please go to room 219 and wait for me there."

"But..."

"Do it now, Agent DiNozzo," she said, urgency in her tone.

Tony gazed back at her for a few moments then nodded and without another word headed down the hallway. The room was only a short distance away. He opened the door and entered. It was an unoccupied patient room containing two neatly made up beds. Five minutes passed, then ten. Just when he was beginning to think the woman had been playing with him, the door opened and she came into the room holding a bundled up infant in her arms.

"I think this little one is missing his poppa," she said smiling at Tony. The gratitude she saw in his eyes more than assured her she was doing the right thing. "Sit down on the bed," she instructed him kindly.

Tony wordlessly did as she told him and she placed Nathaniel into his arms.

"That is as it should be," she said with a warm smile as she sat down next to Tony.

"I don't know how to thank you for this," Tony said, turning his head to look at her before lovingly turning his eyes back on his son. The baby's eyes were open now and Tony saw that they were definitely Ziva's eyes. The color was different, darker, appearing bluish gray, but he knew that would likely change with time.

"There is no thanks necessary. Not all of us here are in agreement with Senora Cotela."

"I appreciate that," Tony said quietly. The baby was wrapped up except for his head. Tony hesitantly moved his hand to unwrap the blanket, but first looked toward the nurse. "It it okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "It is fine."

Tony unwrapped the infant and reached for his tiny hand. The baby grasped his father's finger and Tony smiled in delight. "Hey, you've got some grip there," he said lightly touching the baby's cheek with his other hand. It was so soft and smooth. He then took his other hand and each of his feet, gently holding them one at a time. "He's healthy, right? There isn't anything wrong with him?" he asked the nurse, suddenly concerned that maybe there was something that he didn't know about.

"He is very healthy," she answered with a smile. "But I am afraid I must return him to the nursery now."

Tony nodded as he gently wrapped the blanket around his son again. "What's your name?" he asked the nurse, still reluctant to give up his hold on Nathaniel.

"It is Maria," she replied.

"Thank you so much, Maria I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."

"I believe you have the right to see your son, but I must take him back now."

"I understand." Tony bent down and kissed Nathaniel's cheek then handed him over to Maria. "Thank you again, Maria."

"You are very welcome, Agent DiNozzo."

"Please, call me Tony."

"Tony... Come back at 5 o'clock. You can see him again then."

"Really?" Tony's lit up and Maria thought what a shame it was that Senora Cotela couldn't just open up her heart to let this man be with his son. It was the right thing to do. Anyone could see that.

She nodded. "Yes, wait in front of the nursery until I tell you where to go."

"You're sure?" Tony asked with a twinge of conscience. "You won't get into trouble, will you?"

"Do not worry, Tony. Senora Cotela is the only one who would make a fuss and she will not be here. It will be fine."

"I don't know how to repay you."

"There is no repayment necessary. You and your son belong together."

xxxxx

McGee rang Ducky's doorbell and glanced at Abby who had insisted on accompanying him to give Ducky the news. It was obvious that she had been crying.

Ducky opened the door and exchanged greetings then steeled himself for whatever bad news they were about to deliver to him. From the look on Abby's face, he knew they hadn't come for a pleasant visit. "Won't you come in."

The two slowly entered Ducky's living room, both looking decidedly uncomfortable to be there.

"Would you care for some tea?" Ducky offered. Abby and McGee both silently shook their heads. "Well then, please take a seat and you can tell me the unpleasant news you are here to share."

Tim sighed softly as he and Abby sat down on the sofa. This was even more difficult than he had imagined it would be.

Ducky took a seat in an overstuffed chair directly across from them. Abby's eyes were brimming with tears and he turned towards McGee. "Timothy, please just tell me. Has something happened to Jethro?"

'Just say it already, McGee,' Tim mentally urged himself. "No...its Ziva, Ducky. She...she was killed in a car accident,"

"Oh no...That poor, poor girl," Ducky said after taking a few moments to absorb the news. "What about Anthony?"

"Tony's okay...at least phyically," Tim answered. "Gibbs is on his way to Naples."

Ducky nodded. "That's good . Tony will certainly need the support. What about the child?"

Tim shook his head.. "We don't think the baby is alive."

"That dear boy," Ducky murmured, shaking his head sadly. "How will he ever get through this..."

xxxxx

Tony arrived at the airport a little after midnight. It was very early, but the hours after he left Nathaniel at the hospital had seemed to stretch on endlessly. He no longer got any enjoyment out of spending time in the villa. It seemed that every room held some memory or item reminding him of unfulfilled hopes and dreams. He tried to force those sad thoughts out of his mind and focus instead on his son. Those stolen moments with Nathaniel meant the world to him. He had been able to give Nathaniel his bottle during his last visit. He smiled as he remembered how the baby had greedily sucked on the nipple. His son had definitely inherited his appetite. He would always be grateful to the kind-hearted nurse who had been making it possible for him to see his son.

He went and bought a bottled water and sipped it slowly. He hadn't been able to eat since the accident, but he knew if he didn't at least try to drink that he would get dehydrated and he had to think about his son, not just himself. He knew in his heart that was what Ziva would have wanted. He walked around for a bit then sat down and dozed off for a short while. When he woke up, it was 1:15 a.m. He went to check the status of Gibbs' flight and saw that it was still listed as scheduled to arrive on time. He started to people watch and his attention was directed towards a young family. The father was holding a young child while the mother was asleep with her head on his shoulder. Tony felt his eyes beginning to water and he turned away from them. It was just too painful.

At around quarter to two he wandered over to the waiting area for arrivals. Finally he saw the monitor change to announce that the flight had landed. He knew that Gibbs still needed to pass through Customs and collect his luggage. He watched and waited with bated breath as passengers finally started coming out and finally he saw the familiar silver-haired man walking purposefully in his direction. Gibbs didn't see him though, in fact, would have passed right by him if Tony hadn't noticed him.

"Boss!" he called out. Gibbs stopped short and turned towards him, a look of surprise on his face. He hadn't expected Tony to come to the airport.

Tony hurried towards Gibbs and embraced the older man, suddenly overcome with emotion. "Its so good to see you, boss," he said in a choked voice as Gibbs returned the embrace, holding onto the younger man tightly. "Thank you so much for coming."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks to all of you for your nice words and support. I'm glad you're liking this and appreciate you all more than I can say :)**

xxxxx

The two men finally separated. "I've missed you, boss," Tony said, a sad smile touching the corners of his lips.

"I've missed you too." He really did miss him...a lot. Although McGee was doing an admirable job so far as senior field agent and the two agents hired to replace Tony and Ziva were doing good work as well, the dynamics of the team had definitely changed. A certain spark that had been there before was now gone. "How are you holding up?"

Tony shrugged. "Doing okay...you know how it is..."

Gibbs nodded. Unfortunately, he did know how it was. "You look tired. Have you slept at all?"

"A little bit, when I can." Tony moved to grab Gibbs' suitcase from the floor, but Gibbs moved faster.

"I've got it, DiNozzo."

"Are you sure? You've had a long flight. I..." Gibbs gave him the familiar Gibbs stare and Tony smirked. "You've got it. No problem."

They started walking through the airport and about 10 minutes later they arrived at Tony's car.

"You weren't hurt at all...in the accident?" Gibbs asked after they had seat-belted themselves into the vehicle.

"Banged up my head a little bit...no big deal," Tony sighed as he leaned his head back against the top of the car seat. "The other car broadsided us on Ziva's side...I never even saw it coming...I can't believe I barely got hurt and she..." he trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.

Gibbs mentally cursed himself for bringing up the accident so soon. He should have at least waited until they had reached Tony's home. "I'm sorry, Tony..I shouldn't have brought it up..."

"Don't worry about it...It is what it is...Can't change what happened." Tony bit his lip and started up the car, slowly pulling it out of the parking space. They were mostly silent for the ride to the villa, just making a little bit of small talk here and there.

"This is a nice place, Tony," Gibbs commented as they got out of the car and headed up the pathway to the front entrance.

"Yeah...it is pretty nice," Tony agreed as he opened up the door. "Ziva loved it here...I don't think she ever had this kind of a home before, you know? She was really looking forward to doing the whole mother thing. It was a side of her I never really knew existed."

Gibbs nodded sadly as they entered the house.

"Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed right away?" Tony asked, speaking very quickly. "Or are you hungry or thirsty? I can get you something."

"I'm fine, Tony." Gibbs could see how anxious Tony was and wanted to put him at ease if he could. He placed his suitcase down on the living room floor then sat down on the sofa. "Why don't we just sit for a bit."

"Okay." Tony took a seat next to Gibbs on the sofa with his hands clasped in front of him. "How was the trip over?"

"It wasn't bad," Gibbs answered. "Did some reading." Mostly he had just dwelled on Tony and what he was going through, willing the plane to go faster, but it wasn't like he was going to say that.

"That's good," Tony said, nodding. "Are you sure you don't want a drink?"

"I'm good, Tony." Gibbs patted the younger man's shoulder. "Don't be worrying about me..."

Tony nodded, suddenly feeling the familiar lump developing in his throat and he swallowed hard, trying to keep his emotions from being displayed. "How...how's McGee doing running the team?"

"He's doing well. You'd be proud of him."

"I always knew Probie had it in him," Tony said with a faint smile. He missed McGee. Hell, he missed everyone from back home.

"You feel like talking?" Gibbs asked, abruptly changing the subject. .

"We are talking, aren't we?"

Gibbs gave Tony a long look. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah...just don't really see what good it does though."

"You might be surprised."

"I don't know, boss...there's just so much going on in my head right now. They won't even release Ziva's body to me because we weren't married. What am I supposed to do?"

"I can help you with that, Tony," Gibbs said softly. "I can make some calls."

"Yeah?" Tony gave Gibbs a hopeful look.

Gibbs nodded.

"That'd be good. Thank you, boss. I'd like for Ziva to be buried back in the states. I want to be able to visit her grave and take Nathaniel there when he's old enough."

"What?" Gibbs' head shot up and he stared back at Tony in disbelief. "Who?"

"Nathaniel...Ziva named him before she..." He sighed heavily. "At first I wasn't really sure about the name, but now I am. It definitely suits him."

"Nathaniel... That's your son? He's okay?"

"Yes, he's fine...I..." Tony looked at Gibbs quizzically then mentally went back over his telephone conversation with him. "I...I didn't tell you..did I?. God, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I didn't tell you..."

Gibbs shook his head, smiling. "Don't worry about it. You had a lot on your mind. That's terrific news. So..he's really okay? Tell me about him."

"He...he's really great. He's beautiful," Tony said, his face lighting up as he talked about the child. "I can't believe how much I love him already, you know? I just want to take care of him and protect him."

Gibbs nodded. He understood perfectly.

"But..."

"But?" Gibbs glanced at Tony seeing that something was obviously wrong. "What is it?"

"The hospital is giving me a hard time about being able to spend any time with him. They said I don't have any proof that he's my son."

"They won't let you see him?" Gibbs asked, clearly incensed by this development.

"No," Tony said, shaking his head. "They won't even allow supervised visits. One of the nurses there, she felt sorry for me, I guess, and she arranged for me to spend a little time with him today, but its just not enough. Hopefully, the DNA test gets back quickly and I can just get this all taken care of. I just...I just want to be with him, boss... I'll take you to see him in the morning...We'll probably just be able to look at him through the glass, but at least you'll be able to catch a glimpse of him."

Gibbs nodded. If he had anything to say about it, they would be doing more than looking at Tony's son through a glass window in the morning. Tony was going through more than enough without them making it even more difficult by not allowing him to see his son.

xxxxx

Gibbs and Tony talked a bit more before deciding to get call it a night. There was a guest room all ready and waiting for him. Tony and Ziva had thought it important to have an extra room as they had hoped to have many visitors.

Gibbs opened his suitcase and unpacked a few things, deciding to leave the rest of it until the morning. He was pretty much bone tired and just wanted to get some sleep. He changed into a pair of sweats and stretched out on the bed, but once he had done that, he found sleep to be elusive. He couldn't stop thinking abut what he had found out about Tony's son and he hadn't missed what he had said about returning to the United States either. Of course, he would like nothing better than for that to happen, but he wondered if Tony had really thought about the opportunity he would be giving up. Then again, he wasn't really sure how the younger man would make out as a single father all alone in a foreign country either. He just wished there was still a place on his team for him, but it wasn't like he could just bounce someone off it because Tony decided to return. He now wished he hadn't replaced his agents as quickly as he had, but Tony had been insistent about having everything in place before he left for Naples. It was all very troublesome to him. Finally, in spite of all the thoughts jumping around in his head, Gibbs finally was able to drop off to sleep.

xxxxx

"_Why did you do it, daddy? Why?" The small boy asked as he looked up into his father's face._

"_Why did I do what, Nathaniel?" Tony pulled his son into his lap and held him close. "What's bothering you, son?"_

"_Why did you let my mommy get killed in that car crash? Why did you let her die?" Nathaniel asked, his eyes brimming with tears._

"_I...I didn't let it happen, son. It was an accident...I never even saw the other car..."_

"_You should have seen it daddy!" the youngster shouted as he pounded his tiny fists into Tony's chest. "You should have protected mommy. You weren't supposed to let anything happen to her! Why did you do it daddy? Why? I don't have a mommy and its all your fault. Its all your fault, daddy!"_

_xxxxx_

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry, Nathaniel, please forgive me."

Gibbs,who was in the room next Tony, heard him yelling and pleading almost immediately. He quickly got out of bed and rushed into Tony's room where he found the younger man thrashing about, the sheet and blanket tangled up around him.

"Tony, Tony, come on, wake up," Gibbs said softly as he gently rubbed his shoulder. "Come on, Tony."

"I...boss?" Tony opened his eyes and looked up at Gibbs, momentarily confused.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine..." Tony sat up and shakily ran his hand back through his hair. "I'm sorry I woke you. I'm okay. You should go back to sleep..."

"You feel like talking about it?" Gibbs asked as he took a seat on the edge of Tony's bed.

"I don't really remember what it was about," Tony said, not meeting Gibbs' eyes.

"I think you do..."

"So what if I do. I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Tony snapped.

"Okay, okay. Its nothing to get upset about."

"I'm not upset," he said then glanced back at Gibbs feeling ashamed of himself. The man had flown for 13 hours to get here and he was acting like a petulant child. "I'm sorry...I know you're just trying to help."

"Its okay, don't worry about it." Gibbs was silent for a few minutes then decided to say what was on his mind. "None of this was your fault, Tony."

"I know that," Tony said unconvincingly as he stared down at the bed.

"Do you? You know it was an accident...You said yourself that you never even saw the car..."

"Yeah well...we never would have been here if I hadn't decided to take the job..."

"So you are blaming yourself."

"No...yes...well wouldn't you?" Tony asked, looking up to meet Gibbs' eyes.

"Hey, I know all about self-blame. I also know it doesn't really help anything...and its the last thing Ziva would want for you..."

Tony said nothing to that. He knew what Gibbs said about Ziva was true. She wouldn't want him to blame himself. "Its not that easy...if we had just stayed in the U.S., my son would have a mother."

"Ziva wanted to come here too, didn't she? Its not like you made the decision without her input."

"No, but..."

"There are no buts, Tony. You both decided to do this. It was a new start for the two of you. An accident could have happened no matter where you were. It was not your fault."

"And someday, when Nathaniel asks me why he doesn't have a mother? What do I tell him?"

"You tell him that his mother died in a very tragic accident and that she loved him very much."

"What if he blames me..." Tony whispered, dropping his eyes again.

"Hey, Tony look at me," Gibbs ordered softly. "You are Nathaniel's father. He's not going to blame you. He's going to love you, just as much as you love him."

"How do you know?" Tony asked softly. "I don't know anything about being a father...Its not like my own father was a shining example. I don't know how I'm going to do this on my own."

"You're not going to be on your own," Gibbs stated. "You'll have plenty of help if you need it. You've got friends and you've got me. I'll be there whenever you need me, but I have a feeling you're going to be a much better father than you're giving yourself credit for."

Tony shook his head slowly. "I hope you're right...I just...I don't want to screw this up."

"Hey..you trust me, Tony, don't you?" Gibbs asked.

"You know I do."

"Well then trust me on this. You are going to be a terrific father. You just need to give yourself a chance."

Tony nodded. "I'll try."

"Okay." Gibbs knew that was as much as he could ask for right now. "Now why don't you see if you can get back to sleep. I'm eager to be introduced to that son of yours in the morning." The night was practically over, but they needed to get at least a little bit of rest, if they could.

Tony nodded and laid back down as Gibbs stood up and tucked the blanket in around Tony, a gesture that inwardly touched the younger man. His eyes followed Gibbs as he started walking towards the door. "Thank you...I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you're doing for me. how much it means that you came here."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else...you call me if you need me."

"I will...Good night, boss."

"Goodnight, Tony. Pleasant dreams," Gibbs said as he headed back into his own room hoping that this time the younger man would be able to get some sleep uninterrupted by nightmares.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: To those of you who are reading and reviewing, I can't begin to thank you for your support. I know this is different from my other stories so your encouragement is especially appreciated. Thanks so much :) Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**xxxxx  
**

Gibbs was able to sleep for another couple of hours. When he woke up, he still felt very groggy but he forced himself to get out of bed and headed out into the living room. Tony was already up. The television set was on, but the volume was turned down. "Didn't you get any sleep at all?" Gibbs asked, looking at the younger man with concern. Tony looked wiped out. He was pale and dark circles were beginning to form underneath his eyes.

Tony momentarily considered lying about it, but then didn't really see the point so he just shrugged instead.

"When's the last time you've eaten anything?"

Tony thought about that for a few moments. "Not since before the accident, I guess," he finally replied. "I don't really remember." Food was definitely last on his list of priorities right now.

Gibbs felt a flicker of anger at his answer. He knew Tony was having a hard time with this, but he needed to make an effort. "You have Nathaniel to think of too now," he said, being careful to keep his voice non-accusing. "You need to take care of yourself."

"You don't think I know that?" Tony's voice broke as he looked back at Gibbs. His emotions had been all over the place since the dream about Nathaniel. "I'm going to go take a shower," he said as he got to his feet. Gibbs was tempted to stop him, but then just let him go. Shaking his head, Gibbs made his way into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator which he found to be very well stocked with fresh food. Ziva had evidently been doing quite a bit of cooking. Gibbs gathered the ingredients to make ham and cheese omelets then set to work.

xxxxx

Tony stood in the shower for a long time, just letting the jets of hot water pelt down against his body. He allowed a few tears to fall as well. He couldn't ever remember feeling as overwhelmed as he did right now. In a thousand years, he never could have imagined himself as a single father. Sure, Gibbs said he thought he'd be great, but its not like he was going to tell Tony he thought he'd be a crappy father.

For some reason, he started thinking about the movie, "Three Men and a Baby." The three guys had been pretty inept at first, but then had really gotten it together and become great fathers. Of course, that was only a damn movie and a comedy at that. This was certainly no comedy. He had never even changed a diaper before. He got out of the shower and toweled himself dry then went into his bedroom to get dressed. At first, he was just going to wear jeans and a sweatshirt, but then remembering Senora Cotela, he decided he needed to dress a little better than that, since she was likely to use anything against him that she could. Instead, he decided on a pair of gray slacks and a gray and white striped button-down shirt. He then combed his hair and headed out into the living room. The aroma of something cooking wafted through the room and he went into the kitchen.

"You didn't have to cook, boss," he protested. Gibbs had come all this way and now he was cooking for him. He was definitely the world's worst host.

"I wanted to," Gibbs said, watching the younger man closely.

"You shouldn't have to be waiting on me," Tony said as he dejectedly took a seat at the table.

"Its no big deal, DiNozzo," Gibbs stated as he put an omelet on each of their plates, then sat down across from Tony. "Now, come on...eat something."

"Thanks," Tony reluctantly forced down a forkful of the omelet. "This is really good," he said after he had swallowed the first mouthful. He made it through half the omelet before he pushed the plate aside. He expected Gibbs to nag at him about finishing it, but he didn't. In truth, Gibbs was just glad that Tony had eaten something. He wasn't going to push him too hard. He could tell that Tony was teetering very close to the edge.

"I'll do the dishes," Tony stated after Gibbs had finished eating.

"Okay...I'm going to get ready to go then," Gibbs replied. He hesitated as he tried to think of something to say, but couldn't really come up with anything. Finally, he got to his feet and started to head out of the room.

"I left a couple of clean towels and a washcloth for you in the bathroom," Tony called after him.

After Gibbs had gone, Tony brought the dishes over to the sink and began to wash them. Unfortunately, it was one of the things he and Ziva had used to do together at night. He would wash and she would dry, He half expected to look down and see her standing there, smiling up at him. Blinking back tears, he tried to put the image out of his mind. He quickly finished up then went back into the living room. This time, he didn't bother to turn on the television. Rather, he just sat there, staring off into space. He was still sitting in the same position when Gibbs came back into the room. Gibbs silently watched him for a few moments then cleared his throat, making his presence known.

"Oh...hey boss," Tony said softly, looking up at him. "You all ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'm all set if you are," Gibbs replied, nodding.

Tony stood up and grabbed his keys from the coffee table then the two men left the house and headed to the hospital. They hadn't gone very far at all when Tony pulled the car up in front of a little shop called "Mario's." Gibbs turned toward Tony with a questioning look on his face. "This place has the best coffee. You've got to try it."

The two men entered the store and were greeted by a robust, smiling man. "Tony! It is good to see you. Who is your friend?"

"Mario, this is Jethro Gibbs."

"It is very good to meet you, Jethro," Mario said, giving Gibbs a hearty handshake. "Any friend of Tony's is a friend of mine. In only a very short time, he has turned into one of my best customers. What can I get for you today?"

"Just two coffees, please," Tony replied.

"What? No pastries today for Bella Ziva?" Mario asked, turning towards Gibbs. "This one is always in here, buying her some of my fine little baked goods."

Gibbs glanced at Tony who had noticeably paled, but Mario evidently had not noticed. "The wee bambino should be arriving any day now, eh Tony? My Angelina and I have five children. I tell Tony he has a lot of catching up to do." He passed the coffees to them and Tony paid him..

"Thanks, Mario. You have a good day."

"You too. Tell Ziva I said hello." Tony managed to muster up a smile that was really more of a grimace as the two men left the little coffee shop.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Gibbs asked quietly after they had returned to the car.

Tony sighed heavily and shook his head. "I don't know...I meant to, but...I just couldn't seem to get it out. He was in such a good mood. I didn't want to spoil his day." Plus, it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to talk about. He put the key into the ignition and started up the engine and once again they were on their way.

Gibbs took a sip of the coffee and nodded his approval. "You're right about the coffee, DiNozzo. This is excellent."

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I thought about you right away the first time I tasted it. I knew you'd appreciate it."

The two men were quiet for the remainder of the short drive to the hospital. As they took the elevator upstairs to the maternity ward, Tony couldn't help the feeling of fear that was running through him. For some reason, every time he got to the hospital, he was afraid something might have happened to his son, that Nathaniel might have gotten sick...or worse. He was pretty sure he wouldn't even be notified if that were the case. He breathed a sigh of relief when they got to the nursery and he saw the baby lying in his crib. He was awake and actively moving his arms and legs. Tony placed his hand on the glass separating him from his son, feeling almost a physical pain at his inability to be able to hold him. "That's him," he told Gibbs in a choked whisper.

Gibbs stared at the baby, entranced, as a million feelings swept through him. He couldn't stop himself from being swept back in time to the day Kelly had been born. It had been the happiest day of his life. Even now, he could remember details of that day...how he had felt...the overwhelming love for his wife and daughter... He looked over at Tony and clearly saw the pain in his eyes. It was so unfair the way he and Ziva had been robbed of their chance to be a family with this child. He's beautiful, Tony," Gibbs murmured, then smiled. "He has your hair." The baby had a good head of hair, sticking up at all angles, reminiscent of the spiky hair style Tony had worn in the past.

"Yeah, I guess he does," Tony chuckled. "I..."

"Well, well, Mr. DiNozzo. I see you are back again."

Tony literally felt a chill run down his spine at the sound of the woman's voice. He slowly turned around to face Senora Cotela with a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't believe she had the power to make him feel so awful. "Of course I'm back. I'm here to see my son."

"Well, that is yet to be determined." She stared back at him icily then slowly smiled. As Gibbs watched her, he was reminded of a snake, eying its prey. "And do not expect to see Nurse Rossi today, or any day soon. She has been suspended indefinitely."

"Maria?" Tony questioned. "You suspended her? All she did was try to help me...she didn't do anything wrong." He felt horrible that she had been suspended because of him.

"Not in your eyes, perhaps, but she did do something wrong...very wrong. She disobeyed a direct order. The walls have eyes, here, Mr. DiNozzo. She should not have been so stupid."

"What the hell is your problem?" Gibbs had heard enough from this insufferable woman.

Unperturbed, Senora Cotela turned to face Gibbs. "I am sorry. I do not think we have met. You are?"

"Special Agent Jethro Gibbs," Gibbs growled.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Agent Gibbs. I am Senora Cotela."

"I don't really care what your name is. What I do care about is that you're giving my agent here a hard time for no reason at all except that you don't seem to like him very much." He automatically slipped back into calling Tony his agent without even realizing he had done so.

"That is a presumption on your part, Agent Gibbs," Senora Cotela said, smiling coldly. "As an administrator of this hospital, let me assure you that I am only looking out for the safety and well being of this child."

"I don't really understand how your being a royal bitch is going to help anyone."

"That was quite rude and uncalled for." Senora Cotela narrowed her eyes at this new opponent.

"Yeah well if the shoe fits...Now I'd like to know exactly what you are hoping to accomplish here. From where I see it, a family comes into this hospital and you're basically trying to tear it apart for no reason whatsoever."

"It is yet to be determined whether or not they were truly a family," she spat back.

"Who the hell are you to judge that?" Gibbs asked. "Even if Tony wasn't the real father, an agreement had obviously been made in spite of that. You have no right to question it."

He saw Tony wince at his words and sighed to himself. He'd have to talk to him later.

"If that was the case, they should have had a legal document stating as much."

"This is stupid. I am his father!" Tony shouted, getting more and more upset with the direction of the conversation.

Gibbs put his arm around Tony's back, resting his hand on his shoulder after giving it an encouraging squeeze, hoping it would calm him. "Let's just say, for argument's sake, that Tony was not the biological father. How would you find the boy's true father? He was conceived in America. What would you do? Start an international manhunt for his father?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"We would process the child through the proper channels and try to find the next of kin, an aunt or uncle...a grandparent, perhaps."

The color drained out of Tony's face at the thought of handing Nathaniel over to Eli David. Mentally, he was beginning to panic, wondering if there was some way they could just grab Nathaniel and take him out of the hospital.

Gibbs cursed inwardly. This bitch was tough as nails and it was obvious she was not about to give in. Things were just getting worse. He could tell that Tony was starting to lose his grip on the situation. .

"I have heard enough from both of you," Senora Cotela said dismissively. "I have other more important duties to attend to. The DNA results should be in this afternoon. You will return after 2 o'clock and this matter will be resolved one way or another. In the meantime, do not give any of my nurses a hard time or I will have Security escort you both from the premises."

With that, she haughtily stormed off, leaving Tony and Gibbs standing silently as she departed.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks so much, as always, for your support. I'm glad most of you are enjoying the story and really appreciate your nice words. **

**I just wanted to address a couple of comments I was unable to respond personally to. To Phoenix Red Lion, I do admit to taking some dramatic license with the DNA stuff. I couldn't really find much about this kind of a situation so this could very well be inaccurate. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story in spite of this though and appreciate your comments :)**

**As for Elle's comments about Senora Cotela, I don't really know her motivations for being so despicable. Sometimes people can just be pretty nasty, even in real life, and you don't ever really know why. That being said, I can get kind of carried away with villainous type characters sometimes. But it is what it is and this is just fiction. I'm certainly not claiming to be a professional writer. I just write because I enjoy it and hopefully people like reading my stories as well. I'm sorry if you find the characters so irritating or the story so draggy that you don't enjoy it, but unfortunately I can't please everybody. **

**Anyhow...here's the next chapter. The stuff about Ziva's body probably isn't all that accurate, but I just want to move on to other things. Hopefully you can get past this. Enjoy :)**

**xxxxx**

"She wouldn't have lied to me," Tony angrily turned on Gibbs the second Senora Cotela was out of earshot. "Ziva never, EVER would have lied to me about something as important as this."

"Calm down, Tony. I know that," Gibbs said, keeping his tone even.

"So why did you say that then?" Tony was obviously upset and unable to think about the situation very rationally at the moment.

"I was just hoping I could get her to give in and let you see the baby before the DNA results were in. I didn't know she had a heart of stone. I've never for a second doubted that you were that child's father."

Tony took a few moments to think about Gibbs' words, to realize that what he was saying did, in fact, make sense. There was a waiting area down the hall and Tony walked towards it then slumped down heavily into one of the chairs. "I'm sorry, boss...Its just, I'm so damn tired...of all of this. This was supposed to be such a happy time. Instead, the whole thing is just a nightmare. He's my son and they won't let me near him. Its not fair, boss. It just isn't." His voice broke and he bowed his head, very much on the verge of letting his emotions get the best of him. "I just want to take Nathaniel and leave here...get out of this country and take my boy home."

"Soon, Tony," Gibbs said softly, placing his hand on Tony's back and rubbing it gently, trying to provide some measure of comfort to the younger man. "Its not going to be long before you can do that."

"I should have married her, boss. I should have married Ziva, then none of this would be happening. We wanted a real wedding with all our friends there, but we should have just done it. I probably won't be able to get her body back to the U.S. now...They'll just send her back to Eli."

"No. They. Won't." Gibbs spoke slowly and his eyes were deadly serious as Tony raised his head and their gazes locked. "I'm going to take care of it, Tony. Don't worry. Later on today, I am going to make some calls." He would have done it right then, but with the time difference he wouldn't be able to get things moving just yet. He was going to use his connections and get this taken care of for Tony and his son. It might not be done in the most above board manner, but Gibbs didn't care about that right now.

"Thank you," Tony said, totally trusting that Gibbs would be able to do as he said. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come here..."

"Don't even think about that," Gibbs said. "I am here, Tony...I'm not going anywhere until its back to the United States with you and Nathaniel."

Tony smiled, but then his smile slowly faded. "You...you don't think Cotela is going to try to pull something with the DNA results, do you?"

Gibbs paused then shook his head slowly. "I doubt it...I admit she seems to have it in for you for who the hell knows what reason, but that would be taking things a step too far. I don't know what her problem is. Maybe you remind her of an ex-lover who dumped her or something."

"I doubt that woman has ever had a lover," Tony stated as Gibbs smirked.

"Let's not worry about that just yet. Everything will probably turn out fine."

"What if it doesn't?" Tony didn't even try to hide his anxiety.

"Then we get NCIS involved. If we have to, we'll fly Abby out here. Nobody's better than her, you know that."

Tony nodded. It was true. "How is she doing?" he asked. He hadn't been keeping in touch with everyone as much as he had wanted to. He'd just been so busy with preparing for the new baby and learning the ropes of his new job that time had gotten away from him.

"She's doing okay...I imagine she's pretty broken up about what's happened." He realized then that no one on the team knew about Nathaniel. That was something else he was going to have to remedy later on as well.

Just then, Tony yawned and Gibbs looked at him thoughtfully. "I think we should go back to your house...get some rest before we meet up with Senora this afternoon." Seeing that Tony was about to protest, he continued on quickly. "I don't know about you, but I'm still pretty wiped after that long flight."

Tony looked back at Gibbs. Gibbs was superman. He never admitted to being tired. He was pretty sure he knew what the other man was doing, but he wasn't about to call him on it. Gibbs had already done far too much for him. He slowly nodded. "Okay...let's look in on Nathaniel again and then we can go."

They walked back over to the nursery and looked in on the baby who was now sleeping on his back, his head tilted to the side with his tiny curled up hand pillowing his cheek. "He sure is cute," Tony said softly.

"That he is, DiNozzo...that he is," Gibbs agreed readily, a feeling of pride sweeping through him, almost as if the baby was his true blood grandson. They spent a little bit more time gazing admiringly at the sleeping infant then headed out of the hospital to return to Tony's house.

xxxxx

"I think I'm just going to watch a movie or something," Tony flopped down on the sofa and gently massaged his temples. He could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on.

"You okay?" Gibbs asked.

"Just a slight headache," Tony nodded.

"Okay...I'm going to go finish unpacking," Gibbs stated then headed off to his room. He wasn't surprised Tony had a headache with all the stress he was under combined with the lack of sleep, plus whatever head injury he had sustained in the accident. He made short order of putting his clothes away then went back into the living room. He smiled in satisfaction to see that the television set remained off and Tony was stretched out on the sofa, fast asleep. His smile widened when he noted that Tony was sleeping in the exact same position that Nathaniel had been in. Gibbs covered Tony with a blanket that was lying on top of the sofa then went to his room to see if he could get a bit of shut eye himself. He made sure to set an alarm to ensure they would wake up in time to be at the hospital before two.

xxxxx

Gibbs dozed off for a little bit, but never really sank into a deep sleep. He got up at a little before one and went into the kitchen to prepare some sandwiches. He was going to do his damnedest to make sure Tony started eating properly. He needed to keep up his strength, contrary to what the younger man thought. After the sandwiches were ready, he went into the living room to find Tony still sound asleep. He hated to awaken him, but knew the DNA results were the most important thing right now. "Tony? Hey, Tony, come on. Time to wake up," he said, lightly shaking his shoulder.

Tony yawned and struggled to open his eyes then looked up at Gibbs blearily as he sat up. "Hey, boss. What time is it?"

"Almost one. I made you a sandwich." He pointed to the plates that were sitting on the coffee table.

"Thanks, but you really don't have to keep cooking, you know."

"Technically, making a sandwich isn't really cooking," Gibbs smirked. "I just threw some things between two slices of bread."

"You know what I mean," Tony said, taking a healthy mouthful of the sandwich. He chewed it and swallowed before continuing. "This is good, but you don't need to keep doing this kind of stuff."

"I know I don't need to, but I want to...Family takes care of family, Tony. Its what I'm going to do, no matter what."

"Family...I like the sound of that..." Tony said softly as he gazed back at Gibbs. "And I really appreciate it...even if I might not always show it." He sighed and looked down at the unfinished part of his sandwich. As good as it was, nerves were getting the best of him and there was a knot in the pit of his stomach. "I'm sorry...I'm really not all that hungry right now...Do you mind if we just head on back to the hospital?"

Gibbs nodded. "Sure, that's fine. You will eat dinner tonight though." It was a definite statement, not a question.

Tony smiled faintly. Gibbs was in full-blown overprotective father mode. However, after having been practically invisible to DiNozzo Senior for most of his life, it admittedly felt kind of nice knowing how much he cared. "I'll eat tonight," he said, nodding.

"Alright then, let's head back."

xxxxx

Tony nervously paced in front of the nursery window as his eyes kept darting from the clock on the wall to Nathaniel. Each minute seemed like an hour as the time ticked slowly by. His pacing was starting to further heighten Gibbs' anxiety, as well, and he was beginning to wish he had just let Tony sleep until the last possible minute.

Finally, at five minutes before two, Tony turned towards Gibbs. "Let's go," he said calmly, his voice betraying none of the fear that was evident in his eyes. They started in the direction of Senora Cotela's office. Tony's anxiety was growing with every step and just before they got there, he grabbed Gibbs and pulled him off to the side of the hallway.

"Listen, boss" he whispered, looking practically panic-stricken. "If it doesn't go the way it should...I...I'm going to grab Nathaniel and take off."

Gibbs looked back at Tony in shock. He had known the other man was worried, but he didn't know it had reached this point. "Come on, Tony. Get a grip. You can't do that."

"Yes I can...I have to. I'm not going to let Eli have him just because this crazy woman is out to get me for some reason. I can't do it."

Gibbs put both hands on Tony's shoulders and stared at him intently. "You listen to me. You're not thinking clearly at all right now. I know a lot has happened and you're going through a tough time, but this is not the answer. That's no way to raise your son, on the run, constantly looking over your shoulder. Its no kind of a life for either of you. You need to have faith that this will all work out the way its supposed to."

"What if it doesn't?"

"I think it will. You can't run from this...I think you know it too. You have lots of friends who will be able to help you. Just give us a chance. Do you really want to risk the chance of ending up in prison? Is that the future you want for Nathaniel?"

"No..." Tony shook his head, looking utterly miserable. Gibbs put his arm around him and squeezed his shoulder in support.

"Come on, Tony...Let's just go and get this over with."

Two minutes later they were outside Senora Cotela's office. Tony hesitantly knocked on her door.

"Come in," she answered right away, her voice sounding impatient and unfriendly, as usual. Tony and Gibbs entered her office and she looked up at them, her expression stern. "Good afternoon," she said curtly. She pointed at a sealed envelope on her desk. "Those are the results. I have no idea what it says."

Tony picked up the envelope, his hand shaking as he did so and he mentally tried to get himself under control. He took a deep breath and looked at Gibbs who gave him a smile and an encouraging nod. "No matter what, it will be okay," Gibbs said quietly. "We will fix it."

"Yeah...it will be okay," Tony repeated softly, trying to make himself believe it. His heart pounding fiercely, he licked his lips and finally managed to get the envelope open. It took a few more seconds before he was able to pull the sheet of paper from the envelope and finally stared down at the results. When he looked back at Gibbs, there was a huge smile on his face, both relieved and triumphant. "He's mine, boss," his eyes filling with tears. "I've got the proof now. No one will ever be able to take him from me. Nathaniel is mine."

"Come here," his own eyes also brimming over, Gibbs gave Tony a heartfelt hug as the younger man shed a few tears against his shirt. "I am so happy for you." Gibbs felt a tremendous sense of relief over the news. He hadn't doubted that Tony was the child's father, but he had seen a lot of what people were capable off over the years and hadn't trusted Senora Coleta for a second.

Tony finally pulled away from Gibbs and quickly swiped at the stray tears on his face.

"You good?" Gibbs asked him, smiling as Tony grinned back at him and nodded.

Just then, Senora Cotela cleared her throat and the two men turned their attention towards her. "I suppose congratulations are in order," she said with obvious reluctance as Tony just stared at her. "I hope you'll understand if I need to see the results for myself...not that I think you'd lie about it, but..."

"By all means. Take a look at them," Tony said, practically flinging the paper at the woman. "And after you do, you can tell me the name of the Director of this hospital."

"Why do you need to know that?" she asked after she had seen the results for herself and Tony snatched the paper back away from her.

"I don't really think that's any of your business," Tony replied. He knew he had the upper hand now and after all she had done to him, he found it very satisfying.

"Well then, I don't think that I'll tell you his name," Senora Cotela replied.

Tony couldn't help laughing. "Are you kidding me? You think I can't find out for myself?" he asked. "I'm not even going to get an apology out of you, am I? You treated me like dirt, lady, after the mother of my child was killed. You went out of your way to make things difficult and never had the tiniest bit of compassion for anything I was going through...not for me and not for my child. Well now, thankfully, the tables have turned and all that you did is certainly not going to go unnoticed. You have yourself a lovely day," he ended sarcastically. With that, he and Gibbs exited her office, leaving her standing there with a shocked look on her face.

xxxxx

Lorenzo De Luca, the Director of the hospital, was suitably appalled and disturbed when he found out how Tony had been treated by Senora Cotela. "On behalf of this hospital, I sincerely apologize for everything she has put you through," he said. "If there is anything at all I can do to help you now, please do not hesitate to ask."

"I'd like to make sure that Nurse Rossi is reinstated. She was suspended when all she was trying to do was help me and allow me a little bit of time with my son."

"Of course, of course. It will be taken care of immediately."

"And..." Tony hesitated for a moment before going on. "I would like to make arrangements to have Ziva's body sent back to the United States. I am planning to go back home to raise my son there."

Mr. De Luca nodded. "Yes, yes, I'll take care of it. Anything else I can do to make things easier for you, please do not hesitate to ask. I assure you that Senora Cotela will be dealt with most severely."

"Thank you very much, sir. I just want to make sure no one else is ever treated the way I was." Tony shook hands with the director and then he and Gibbs headed out of his office. When they got out into the hallway, Tony turned to Gibbs with an excited smile on his face.

"Come on, boss. I want to introduce you to Nathaniel...in person this time."


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thanks so much for all your great comments to the last chapter. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the support :) I realize this is a little slow moving right now, but I will try to have them heading back to the U.S. with the next update. Thanks so much for reading :) **

xxxxx

By the time they returned to the nursery, it was obvious that word had already gotten out. Whereas Tony had previously been given numerous suspicious looks or was ignored altogether, now he was greeted by friendly smiles and hellos. One of the nurses led them to a room where they would be allowed some privacy and a few minutes later she brought Nathaniel in to them. "If there is anything at all you need, Senor DiNozzo, please just ask me," she said, smiling as she gently placed Nathaniel into Tony's waiting arms.

"Hey little guy," Tony said softly as he looked down at his son. "Remember me? I'm your daddy. Sorry I haven't been around as much as I should have been, but that's all going to change now."

Gibbs was looking on, a myriad of emotions evident running through him. He was truly happy for Tony now that he no longer had to worry about the issue of paternity, but he was sad for him at the same time, knowing it was not going to be easy to raise the boy as a single father. Seeing the baby in Tony's arms also brought back memories of when he had first held Kelly and how special that moment had been. "You want to hold him?" Tony's voice broke into his thoughts, almost as if he had been reading his mind.

"Yes...yes I'd like that very much."

Very carefully, Tony handed off the infant to Gibbs. "This is your grandpa Jethro, Nathaniel," He then gave Gibbs an apologetic look. "Sorry, boss...I hope that's okay...I mean if you don't want him to call you that. its perfectly alright. I just thought it was fitting, but of course if you want him to call you something else, whatever you want is fine."

"Hey Nathaniel...your daddy tends to ramble a bit at times." Gibbs told the baby with a smile on his face as Nathaniel settled comfortably in his arms. It just felt so natural holding Tony and Ziva's child. "Don't worry about it though. Its something you'll get used to." He then turned his gaze towards Tony. "I'd be honored for him to call me grandpa." He couldn't think of anything he would like better than being thought of as this child's grandfather. He already felt a bond with him.

"Thank you." Tony returned Gibbs' smile. He knew that his son had two blood grandfathers, but it wasn't something he was planning on dealing with any time soon. He and Ziva had deliberately kept the news of her pregnancy from Eli. Of course, things had a way of getting out, but Tony planned to do everything in his power to keep the boy off of Eli's radar. As for his own father, he hadn't spoken with him in months. Neither man had any idea of what was going on in the other man's life. He wasn't deliberately trying to keep Nathaniel a secret from Senior, but it just wasn't a priority to give him the news right now either.

"Tony, I think your son is making you a special package," Gibbs said, smirking.

"What?" Tony looked at Gibbs and then Nathaniel in confusion before he understood just what Gibbs was referring to. "Oh...uh, what should I do? Should I call a nurse?"

"No, Tony. You're not going to call a nurse. You can do this." He pointed to the baby supplies the nurse had left with them. "See? Everything you need is right there."

Tony stared at the supplies for a few moments then back at Gibbs. "What? No...no, I can't, boss. I...I've never done it before. I don't know how. I'll mess it up."

Gibbs watched in amazement as the man who had been his agent for years, who had been unflappable in the most horrible and stressful situations, seemed on the verge of panic over a dirty diaper. "Come on, DiNozzo. Get a grip. You're going to be changing countless diapers before this kid is toilet trained. No time like the present to learn how to do it."

Tony nodded. "Okay, so I'll call a nurse to show me how."

"Relax. I will show you how," Gibbs said as he placed Nathaniel on a towel on the bed and began to undress him.

"You?" Tony gave Gibbs a skeptical look. "No offense, boss, but when's the last time you've changed a diaper? Do you even remember how?"

"Its like riding a bike. You don't forget," Gibbs said, gently unfastening the diaper tape as Tony looked on.

"Oh my God, what the hell is that?"

Gibbs couldn't help but laugh at Tony's reaction to the contents of the diaper.

"It...its not funny, boss," Tony said. "That doesn't look normal to me. It looks like tar or something. Maybe I should get a doctor."

"Relax. I know it doesn't look it, but it is normal. Its meconium, Tony. It will only be like this for another day or so."

"Are you sure?" Tony still looked doubtful as he watched Gibbs cleaning the sticky substance from Nathaniel's bottom.

"I'm positive. Kelly had the same thing when she was born."

"Yeah?"

"Yep. Nothing to worry about." Gibbs said. He expertly finished rediapering Nathaniel and then turned to the infant's father. "I hope you were paying attention because you'll be changing the next one."

Tony nodded, but didn't say anything and Gibbs could see the emotional look on the younger man's face as he gazed down at his son. He decided a little bit of one-on-one bonding time might be in order. "I have to go and make a couple of calls," he said. "Are you going to be okay by yourself for a bit?"

"Of course," Tony said, nodding. "Go do what you have to do."

"I won't be long."

Tony watched as Gibbs left the room, then turned his attention toward Nathaniel. "Your Grandpa Jethro's a really great guy," he said softly as he cuddled the infant against his chest. "He came a really long way to be with us because of what happened to your mommy...I can't tell you how sorry I am about that...that you won't have your mommy with you. She loved you so much though She would have wanted to be with you more than anything in the world if she could have been..." He smiled sadly, his eyes beginning to overflow with tears.

"I've got to be honest with you...I..I don't know what the hell I'm doing right now. You're kind of getting the short end of the stick in the father department, Nathaniel. I don't know very much at all about babies. In fact, about the only thing I can promise you is that I'll always look out for you. I never want you to feel that I don't care about you, because you're more important to me than anything in my life. I don't ever want you to doubt just how much I love you." He knew what that was like. He'd often felt unloved and uncared for as a child. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure his boy never felt like that.

xxxxx

Gibbs decided to call Abby first. He knew how much she took things to heart and was worried about her. She answered the phone on the very first ring.

"Gibbs! I miss you so much. I've wanted to call you like a thousand times, but I didn't want to bother you because I know how much Tony needs you right now. How is he? I can't believe how awful all this must be for him. I wish I was there so I could give him the world's biggest hug and never let go."

"Hey, Abs," Gibbs finally managed to get a word in when she paused to take a breath. "Tony is hanging in there and Nathaniel is doing just fine."

"Nathaniel? Who...Gibbs! Is Nathaniel Tony's son?" she asked, the excitement evident in her voice.

"Yes. I was wrong about the baby not surviving."

"Oh my God! That's wonderful news. What's he like? I bet he's the cutest baby in the world."

"Yeah, I'd say he's pretty cute, Abs," Gibbs replied, chuckling at Abby's enthusiasm.

"I always knew Tony and Ziva would make beautiful babies together."

"Yeah, he got the best of both of them for sure. Listen though, I don't mean to cut you off, but I want to get back to Tony and I need to talk to McGee. He's not with you, is he?"

"No, I think he's upstairs."

"Okay, I'll give him a call. It was good to talk to you, Abby. I'll call you again soon."

"Give Tony my love and tell him to send us a picture of the baby."

"Will do."

Gibbs clicked off from Abby's call and dialed McGee right away. The young agent, like Abby, answered quickly. "Hey, boss."

"Hi, Tim, I'm just calling to check in with you. How's everything going?"

"Everything's fine. We've been finalizing all the evidence for the Rinaldi case and working on some older cases. Nothing really pressing. How's Tony?"

"Its tough, but he's doing okay. There is a bit of good news in this whole sorry mess though. I was wrong about the baby. He's healthy and very much alive."

"Really? Oh wow, that's great news...it will give Tony something to focus on."

"Yeah..." McGee's words struck a chord with Gibbs and he found himself wondering if focusing on the baby was going to be enough to get Tony through the days ahead. Okay, I'm going to get going. Call me if you need me. You're doing a good job, McGee."

"Thanks, boss. Tell Tony we're all thinking of him"

"I will. Talk soon."

Before heading back, Gibbs tried Ducky as well, but there was no answer. He left him a brief message explaining things and told him he'd call again. He then headed back to Tony. When he returned to the room, he found Tony holding a very unhappy, crying baby and Tony looked as miserable as the infant sounded. "I think he's hungry," Tony explained. "The nurse went to get him some formula."

"Babies cry, Tony..." Gibbs said gently. "A lot."

"I know that, boss," Tony said, on the verge of tears himself once again. "I know they cry, but somehow, when I hear him crying, its like he knows what happened to his mother and he wants her and I can't do anything to help him. Why couldn't it have been me who died in that crash? Why couldn't Ziva have survived and I have been the one to die..."

Gibbs could feel his heart break with each word that Tony spoke. He understood just what he was feeling because he'd thought the same thing countless times himself after Shannon and Kelly had been taken from him.

"Listen Tony." Gibbs said softly as he took a seat beside Tony on the bed. "I know you're feeling pretty awful right now, and I'm not going to lie to you. What you're feeling isn't just going to miraculously go away, but bit by bit it will get better, and this little one needs you, Tony. You're his daddy. You're all he's got."

"Here we are," a smiling nurse entered the room with a bottle which she handed to Tony, She kept her tone light and pretended not to notice Tony's tears, full knowing of the tragedy that had occurred in his life. "Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thank you." Tony inserted the nipple of the bottle into Nathaniel's mouth. The baby immediately calmed and began to gulp the nourishing liquid. This had a calming effect on Tony as well. He wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and looked at Gibbs sheepishly. "Sorry you have to keep listening to me going on like that, boss."

"Don't apologize. You have every right to be feeling what you're feeling. Its normal."

"I don't feel very normal right now, boss...I feel like my whole life's been turned upside down and I know I have to be strong for my son, but..." He shook his head despairingly. "I'm not feeling real strong right now..."

"You don't have to worry about being strong right now, Tony." Gibbs put his arm around Tony and soothingly rubbed his shoulder. "You just need to give yourself permission to grieve and do what you need to do to get through this. I'm not going anywhere. You just lean on me when you need to. I've got more than enough strength for the two of us."

"I appreciate that," Tony said softly. He managed a wan smile for Gibbs' benefit, then turned his attention back to the baby. Nathaniel finished the bottle and Tony was in the process of burping him when a man in a doctor's coat entered the room.

"Hello, I am Dr. Romano. I see you and your son are finally getting acquainted. I am very sorry for what you have been going through."

"Thank you," Tony replied quietly. "I'm just glad the issue has finally been resolved."

"Yes. I would imagine it is quite a relief."

Tony nodded and resumed his gentle patting of Nathaniel's back then began to feel slightly uneasy as the doctor just continued to stand there, watching them, but not saying anything else. "Is there something wrong with my boy?" Tony finally asked.

"No, no...He is fine. I am sorry for staring. I just wanted to discuss your child's discharge."

"He's ready to leave?" Tony asked with a delighted smile. "Can I take him home with me today?"

The doctor chuckled. "Well, I would like to keep him for one more night. How does tomorrow morning sound?"

"Tomorrow morning sounds good," Tony said as he looked at the infant. "You hear that, Nathaniel? You get to come home with me and grandpa tomorrow." He then glanced back at the doctor. "Dr. Romano? I'm planning to return to the United States. Do I need to wait for Nathaniel to be able to fly?"

Dr. Romano hesitated. "I would not permit him to fly until he is at least seven days old. "

"But then it would be okay?" Tony asked. He wanted Nathaniel to be safe, but he was also anxious to go home. There were some things he still needed to take care of, but then they would be free to leave.

"Yes, he is healthy. It should be fine," Dr. Romano said, nodding. "I would like to check him over the day before you plan to leave, but I do not see any problem with him flying if it is necessary."

"Thank you, Doc," Tony said.

"You are very welcome. I will see you tomorrow morning then." With that, the doctor left the room. Tony shifted Nathaniel from his shoulder and lowered him down to hold him in his arms again.

"He's sleeping," he whispered to Gibbs.

Gibbs nodded, but his attention was more on Tony than the baby right then. He looked drained and utterly exhausted. It had been a long, stressful day. He wondered if he could get him to agree to go home. "Abby asked if you could send her a picture of Nathaniel," he said. "Everyone sends you their best."

"I can send her a picture," Tony said. Moving very careful so as not to disturb the sleeping infant, Tony reached into his pocket for his cell phone and pulled it out then snapped a picture of Nathaniel. "He looks pretty cute, doesn't he, boss?" he asked as he handed the phone off to Gibbs so he could see it.

"Yes, he looks perfect," Gibbs smiled and gave the phone back to Tony who sent the picture off to Abby. He then couldn't stop himself from yawning.

"I don't think Nathaniel's the only one who needs his sleep," Gibbs observed.

"I'm fine, boss," Tony shook his head and forced his eyes a little bit more widely open.

"You're exhausted, Tony. I know you don't want to admit it, but you are. You also promised you would eat dinner tonight and I'm talking a real dinner, not a bite of a sandwich. Then, after you eat, you're going to try to get some sleep."

"Is that an order, boss?" Tony asked. Part of him wanted to go back at Gibbs and deny being tired, deny needing to eat, but he knew the older man was right and honestly, he was just too wiped out to even think about trying to fight Gibbs at the moment.

"Yeah, its an order, DiNozzo," Gibbs said quietly.

"Okay...I just want to stay with him for a little while longer, then we can head out."

"That's fine." Gibbs smiled faintly. That had been much easier than he had anticipated, which told him how truly exhausted the younger man was. Now that the question of Nathaniel's paternity had been answered, he hoped that Tony would be able to get a good night's sleep before bringing the baby home in the morning. He had a feeling it might be the last opportunity for a night of uninterrupted sleep Tony would have for quite some time.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Thanks so much to those of you who are reading and/or commenting on this story. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Gibbs, Tony and Nathaniel are still in Naples, but I'll be getting them back to the U.S. soon. Hope you enjoy the next chapter. :)**

xxxxx

Finally, Tony agreed to leave the hospital, albeit reluctantly and needing a little extra prodding from Gibbs. "Its getting late. Its not for long, Tony. We'll be taking him with us in the morning."

"I know..." Tony answered softly, his eyes clearly broadcasting his hesitancy. "Its just...I can't help feel like I'm abandoning him."

"You're not abandoning him," Gibbs explained gently. "You're taking care of yourself. There's a difference. You're taking care of yourself so you can take better care of him. Its the best thing you can do for both of you."

"Okay...I'll go." He kissed the child on the cheek and quietly crooned to him. "I've got to go now, little guy, but I'll be back before you know it and then I'll be taking you home with me." He handed the infant off to the nurse in charge of the nursery and left with Gibbs, giving the baby one last yearning look as the nurse carried him off to his crib.

"Come on." Gibbs patted Tony's back supportively and breathed a sigh of relief when the younger man actually accompanied him into the elevator. He had been starting to think he was going to have to drag him out of there.

"Its hard leaving him," Tony admitted, leaning back against the wall of the elevator as Gibbs pressed the button for the ground floor.

"I know it is," Gibbs agreed. "But it won't be for too long."

"Yeah...I guess..." Tony shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and waited for the elevator doors to open. The two men were silent until they were back inside Tony's car.

"What do you feel like for dinner?" Gibbs asked as Tony started up the car. He was actually pretty hungry and hoped Tony was too.

"I thought I would take you out somewhere, boss," Tony replied. It was the least he could do for the man who was doing so much for him.

"We don't have to go out," Gibbs protested.

"Its okay...I want to." It was true. The idea of going out appealed to him more than going back to the house. He just wasn't sure where they should go. There was a wonderful restaurant he had discovered that he and Ziva had already gone two three times in the short time they had been in Italy. Tony was pretty sure it would be a bad idea to go there though. The memories would be much too painful. He finally decided on the place his new team had brought him to for a welcome lunch. The atmosphere had been nice, but casual, and the food had been very good.

They were seated right away at a quiet corner table and Gibbs perused the menu then glanced across the table at Tony. "Any suggestions?" he asked.

"I've only been here once. The team brought me here on my first day. I don't think you can go wrong with anything on the menu."

Gibbs nodded and decided on chicken parmigiana while Tony went with spaghetti and meatballs. After they had placed their order, Gibbs sat back in his chair and studied Tony thoughtfully. "So...you came here with your team? How were things working out with them?"

"Pretty well," Tony admitted after a brief hesitation. "They were a good group of guys."

"And you're really sure you want to leave that all behind?" Gibbs asked slowly. He wanted nothing more than for Tony and Nathaniel to return to the states with him, but he didn't want Tony to toss away this opportunity only to regret it afterward.

"Yes...yes, I'm sure," Tony replied nodding after thinking about the question carefully. "I can't stay here, boss...I just can't."

"What will you do?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it yet," Tony replied. "I guess I can see about becoming a cop again...or maybe I could talk to Fornell?" He watched Gibbs closely, unsure of what his reaction would be.

Gibbs just nodded. He wished like hell that he could just add Tony back onto his team, but it just wasn't that simple. "There might be some other openings with NCIS," he suggested.

"Field agent positions?" Tony asked, then shook his head. "I doubt it..."

"There are other jobs, Tony," Gibbs broached the subject cautiously. "Now that you have Nathaniel, I thought maybe..."

Tony shook his head vigorously. "I don't want a desk job, boss."

"You won't even consider it?" Gibbs asked. "It might be worth giving it a little bit of thought, anyway, especially with your current situation."

Tony sighed heavily and was saved from further commenting when the waiter brought a large bowl of salad and a loaf of warm bread to their table. "You're going to love this bread, boss," He deliberately changed the subject and Gibbs decided to let it go for now. After all, Tony didn't need to make a decision right away.

xxxxx

"That was one terrific meal," Gibbs smiled as he patted his stomach contentedly. "I bet I gained ten pounds." He was even happier that Tony had eaten well also, which helped put his mind at ease a little bit.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Tony said with a smile. "Are you sure you don't want dessert?"

Gibbs shook his head. "I couldn't eat another bite. If I did, I think I might explode."

Tony paid the bill and the two men left the restaurant and headed back to the car. The heavy meal had only served to increase Tony's drowsiness and by the time they arrived home, he was barely able to keep his eyes open. "You need anything, boss?" he asked after they had entered the house.

Gibbs quickly shook his head. "No. I'm good, Tony. Why don't you get some sleep."

"Yeah...I am pretty tired," Tony said. Pretty tired was a huge understatement. He couldn't really recall feeling as utterly exhausted as he did at that moment. He desperately wanted to climb into bed and burrow down under the covers. "I'll see you in the morning, boss. Good night."

"Goodnight, Tony." Gibbs said softly. After Tony had closed the door to his room, Gibbs headed into his own bedroom and decided to try Ducky again. This time, he was rewarded when the elderly medical examiner answered the phone.

"Jethro, I'm terribly sorry that I missed your call earlier. How is everything going? How is Anthony holding up?"

Gibbs sat down on the edge of the bed and removed his shoes as he spoke. "Its pretty tough going, Duck. He's trying so hard to keep himself together, but I know this is killing him."

"Its a tragic situation, indeed," Ducky said. "And how is his child?"

"He's great, Ducky," Gibbs smiled to himself as he thought of the baby. "His name is Nathaniel and he's beautiful."

"Yes, Abigail showed me the photograph Tony sent her. He is an exquisite child, but I would have expected nothing less with Tony and Ziva as his parents."

"Yeah...I just hope he's enough to get Tony through this. He's all Tony has now."

"He has you as well, Jethro," Ducky reminded him.

"I just don't know if I'm being all that helpful to him right now," Gibbs admitted. "I understand the kind of pain he's in...I don't know if there's much I can do to help him through it."

"I think you're underestimating yourself. That boy thinks the world of you. If anyone can help him get through this, its you."

"I hope you're right, Ducky...I really hope you're right..."

xxxxx

The night passed peacefully. Gibbs woke to sunlight streaming in through his bedroom window and he stretched leisurely as he glanced at the clock. It was only 7:30. No need to get up quite yet. He listened carefully, but didn't hear anything at all in the house. He wondered if Tony had managed to sleep through the night. He hoped that he had. He knew the younger man desperately needed the rest. He allowed his eyes to close again and drifted off again, waking again about an hour later. This time, he forced himself to get up and out of bed. He quietly walked out into the living room and was pleased to find it empty. Hopefully, that meant that Tony had slept well. Stretching his arms up over his head and then out in front of him, he entered the kitchen and decided to make some pancakes. He knew Tony liked them and he wanted to do everything in his power to tempt his appetite.

Tony woke to the aroma of something that smelled quite good coming from the kitchen. He smiled to himself at first, for an instant believing that Ziva was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, but then reality reared its ugly head and he remembered all too vividly just what had happened. A heavy feeling settled over his chest and he buried his head in his pillow and shed some tears for his and Nathaniel's loss. It was still so hard for him to really believe what had happened, that Ziva was gone and was never coming back. Knowing that Gibbs was in the kitchen cooking yet again helped him to settle his emotions down and he finally tossed the covers aside, shivering slightly as he left the warmth and comfort of his bed. His bed...it was so big and empty now. His missed Ziva so much, missed curling up against her at night...missed everything about her. Knowing his emotions were beginning to spiral yet again, he forced the mournful thoughts from his head and headed into the kitchen where Gibbs greeted him.

"Good morning, DiNozzo." Gibbs could see that Tony had been crying, but wisely didn't acknowledge that fact. "Today's the big day. You all excited to pick up your son?"

"Yeah, I'll be glad to bring him home," Tony said, forcing a smile.

"I spoke with Ducky last night. He's thinking of you and sends you his best wishes. He saw the picture of Nathaniel you sent to Abby and said he was, and I quote, 'exquisite.'"

"Yeah?" Tony's smile widened and became more natural as a feeling of pride swept through him. He eyed the plate of pancakes in the middle of the table and gave Gibbs a searching look as he sat down across from him. "I thought you weren't going to keep cooking all the time..."

"I was in the mood for pancakes," Gibbs said, taking two of them from the stack. "Should I have just made them for myself?"

"No, I guess not." Tony shook his head and grinned as he took some of the pancakes and put them on his plate. "Thanks, boss." Gibbs was going to do what he wanted to do and he knew that was just the way it was. The man was certainly stubborn, that he knew for sure.

xxxxx

"How'd you sleep last night?" Gibbs asked Tony as the younger man pulled the car out into the street.

"I slept good. No nightmares anyway," Tony answered.

"That's good." Gibbs had thought that Tony appeared more rested and was glad to have it confirmed.

"You want to stop and get some coffee?" Tony gave Gibbs a sidelong glance.

"Uh..no. I'll grab something at the hospital."

Tony shook his head and chuckled as he parked in front of a small coffee shop. He wasn't about to deprive Gibbs of a decent cup of coffee. "Not quite as good as Mario's, but its still much better than anything you're going to get in the hospital."

"Thanks." Gibbs shot Tony a grateful look and made short work of getting the coffee. They then resumed their trip to the hospital. The first thing they did when they got there was speak with the hospital director about transporting Ziva's body to the United States. Gibbs had mentioned the situation to Ducky the night before and he had suggested that they send her to him at NCIS. Arrangement were finalized and Tony breathed a sigh of relief that it was finally going to be taken care of.

When they got up to the Maternity Ward, the first person Tony saw was Maria. She gave him a bright smile as she greeted him. "Hello, Tony. I do not know how to thank you for ensuring I got my job back."

Tony shook his head. "Maria, there's no need to thank me. That was the least I could do. You never should have lost your job to begin with. I'm just sorry you had to go through that because you tried to help me."

"Helping you was the right thing to do. Senora Cotela was being very cruel to both you and your son. I had to do something." Maria gave Gibbs a curious look as she spoke.

"I'm sorry, I should have introduced you" Tony said, noting Maria's glance in Gibbs' direction. "This is my bos...my friend, Jethro Gibbs. He came over from the United States to help me."

"It is very good to meet you, Jethro. You must be a very good friend to come such a long way," Maria greeted him warmly.

"Its nice to meet you too, Maria. I appreciate the kindness you showed to Tony."

"It was nothing," she blushed as Gibbs shook her hand and then turned her attention back to Tony. "Come, let us get your little one ready to leave."

xxxxx

Nathaniel was given a final examination by Dr. Romano and pronounced fit to leave the hospital. Tony promised to return with the infant before they were to leave for America and Maria accompanied the trio to the car.

Tony was quiet as he placed Nathaniel into the car seat and securely fastened him in. Whereas, he had expected to be ecstatic to be taking Nathaniel home, he found that his emotions were all over the place. True, he was very happy to be finally taking his son home from the hospital, but Ziva's absence was hitting him hard right now as he imagined what this day should have been. He had pictured Ziva, smiling and sitting in a wheelchair, holding the baby as he pushed her out to the car. This day was a far cry from anything he had ever thought could have happened. He was also extremely anxious and wasn't quite sure how he would have coped with any of this if Gibbs had not been there with him. He gave the older man a grateful look, unsure of how he would ever repay him for everything he was doing for him..

"There, you are all set to start your new life with the little bambino," Maria said, smiling at Tony. "Take good care of yourselves."

"Thank you so much, Maria." Tony shook her hand and then fumbled in his wallet before removing a business card. "If there's ever anything I can do for you...don't hesitate to contact me.". He grabbed a pen from the glove compartment of the car and scrawled his cell phone number on the back of the card.

He then handed the keys to Gibbs who had offered to drive and got into the back seat with Nathaniel. He gave Maria one final wave as Gibbs started up the car.

"May God shower his blessings over you all," Maria whispered as she stood there waving until the car were totally out of sight.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Well, I wasn't sure I would have a chance to work on this one after writing the Thanksgiving story this weekend, but I got a spurt of motivation so here's the next chapter. I'm trying hard to get it updated at least twice a week, that's probably about the best I can do. Thanks so much for your support. It means a lot and is always appreciated. Hope you enjoy the chapter :)**

**xxxxx**

"He's being really good," Tony commented. His eyes were fixed on Nathaniel who was somewhere halfway between being awake and asleep. "I was kind of worried."

"Sometimes babies like riding in cars," Gibbs said, glancing at Tony through the rear view mirror. "They find the motion soothing."

"That makes sense," Tony said, nodding. That definitely seemed to be the case with Nathaniel. The second Gibbs turned off the ignition though, the baby started to cry. Nervously, Tony tried to get the child out of the car seat, but couldn't undo the harness which only served to make him fumble more and Nathaniel cry louder. "Damn..." Tony muttered under his breath.

Gibbs, who was already out of the car, inwardly restrained himself from offering to help. He knew he needed to tread carefully between doing too much and not supporting Tony enough. Finally, Tony managed to get Nathaniel released and emerged from the car with the still wailing infant.

"He's not real happy, boss," Tony said, looking pretty distressed himself.

"He'll be fine," Gibbs said as he unlocked the door and the two men entered the house.

"I wonder if he's hungry." Tony said, lightly rocking the baby as he paced around the living room. I wish he could just tell me what's wrong. Do you think he's hungry?"

"I don't know, Tony," Gibbs said, shaking his head. "How about I heat up some formula and we'll give that a shot?"

Tony nodded gratefully. "That'd be good. Thanks."

Gibbs headed into the kitchen and Tony continued his efforts to try to console Nathaniel, who was crying even harder. "Whats the matter, little guy?" Tony asked. "Are you scared? You probably want your mommy, don't you? I want her too...She'd be a lot better at taking care of you than me...that's for sure."

Gibbs returned a few minutes later with the warm bottle of formula which he handed to Tony who was now sitting on the sofa. He smiled faintly when the infant started greedily sucking down the formula. "Its not going to be easy, is it, boss?" he questioned softly.

"Nothing worthwhile ever is," Gibbs answered as he sat down next to Tony.

"I know..." Tony said, his eyes sad. Gibbs hated that he had to go through this, hated that there really wasn't a hell of a lot he could do to make him feel better.

"You _will_ get through this, DiNozzo."

"Yeah..." Tony stared down at Nathaniel, wondering how it had ended up like this, thinking how unfair it was. "I really thought we were going to be happy," he whispered.

Gibbs put his arm around Tony, resting his hand on his shoulder. "I know you did, and it doesn't seem like it now, but Tony, you will be happy again. Things sure as hell have taken a lousy turn that neither of you deserved, but you just have to deal with the cards that were dealt, no matter how shitty the hand is."

Tony gazed down at Nathaniel and shifted the infant up over his shoulder, gently patting his back. "I just want to do right by him."

"You will." There was a certainty in Gibbs' voice that Tony wished he could believe. He knew he was going to have to learn though and do the best he could...it was all that he could do...

xxxxx

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. Tony successfully managed to change some diapers and couldn't help feeling a little bit proud that he wasn't totally incompetent at it. Gibbs stood back, ready to step in if necessary, but Tony seemed to be doing okay. At a little after six, Nathaniel was napping in the bassinet in Tony's bedroom. Tony slumped down on the sofa and looked over at Gibbs. "I need to make arrangements for us to fly back to the states."

"You need to get a passport, Tony."

"What?" Tony gave Gibbs a confused look. "I have a passport, boss. You know that."

"No. Nathaniel needs a passport."

"Oh...I never even thought of that...Even newborn babies need passports?" Gibbs nodded and a look of dismay entered Tony's eyes. "How long will that take?" he asked.

"I'm sure we'll be able to expedite it. I'll make some calls to look into it. Don't worry. We'll get things moving along."

"Okay...thank you" Tony knew he probably should be making calls himself, but he already felt too overwhelmed with everything else on his plate. He knew Gibbs wanted to help him and was just grateful for that at the moment. He pulled his laptop from the coffee table and opened it up. "I'm going to type up my resignation. I'll go into headquarters in the morning to speak with the director and the team."

Gibbs nodded. He didn't ask Tony again if he was sure. It was obvious that he had made his decision. "I'll stay here with Nathaniel if you'd like."

"That'd be good, thanks..."he ended up staring at Gibbs then, to the point that the other man began to feel uncomfortable.

"What?" Gibbs snapped, not meaning to sound harsh, but unable to help it.

"I...sorry," Tony said, putting his head down and staring at the computer in his lap. "Its just...nobody has ever done so much for me before. I mean you dropped everything and flew overseas just to come here and help me. I don't think I've properly thanked you..."

"Tony, stop," Gibbs put his fingers under Tony's chin and tilted his head upwards so that he met his gaze again. "You have thanked me, more than once. I told you how I feel about you before you left for Naples. This is what family does."

"I didn't really have a normal family...you know that."

"You've got a family now, Tony. A family who is going to be with you through all of this." Gibbs could see Tony was starting to fade and wanted to get a good meal into him, hopefully before the baby awoke. They had never eaten lunch and had no idea what Nathaniel's sleeping patterns were. "Now, write your letter. I'm going to go make some calls and then fix us some dinner."

"Boss, I can make us something," Tony protested.

"Write your letter. I'm cooking." He tapped Tony's head lightly then went into the bedroom to use the phone. After he found out what he wanted to know, Gibbs headed into the kitchen. Tony was still hovered over the laptop. As Gibbs started to put together a simple meatloaf, he heard Nathaniel start to cry. The crying didn't last long though and he finished molding the meat into the pan and placed it into the oven before leaving the kitchen. Tony was no longer in the living room and his bedroom door was open but that room was also empty. He saw a partly opened door at the end of the hall and slowly walked towards it. Still standing in the hallway, he peered inside the nursery. Tony was sitting in a rocking chair, tears on his cheeks, gently rocking Nathaniel. Sensing a private moment, Gibbs turned to leave, but was stopped by Tony's voice.

"Its okay, boss...you can come in."

Gibbs hesitantly entered the room. "I don't want to bother you..."

"Its nice, isn't it?" Tony asked, making no attempt to hide his tears. "Ziva did all of this. Most of it was done before I even arrived in Naples. She wanted to surprise me...I thought it was great, all of it, even the little duckies on the wall. Who would have thought Ziva and I'd like little duckies on our kid's wall?" He took a shuddering breath before continuing. "She really wanted this rocking chair. She liked the idea of just rocking the baby, maybe singing him a lullaby. I knew I'd never use it, I mean I'm not the kind of a guy who would sit in a rocking chair with a baby, you know? But of course, whatever she wanted was fine with me. I would have enjoyed coming home from work and seeing her rocking Nathaniel to sleep, reading or singing to him. And now here we are, everything is ass backwards. I'm rocking the baby and she's lying cold and dead in the hospital morgue. It shouldn't be like this...it just shouldn't be..." He was openly sobbing now and Nathaniel started to cry too. "Damn, now look what I've done."

Tears brimming in his own eyes, Gibbs reached for the baby. "Its okay, Tony, let me take him."

Tony let Gibbs take Nathaniel from his arms shook his head. "Look at me...scaring my own kid to death. Still think I'm going to be the world's greatest father?"

"Tony..."

Tony stood up and ran his hand back through his hair. "I'm okay, I'm alright. I just...I'm going to just take a walk, get some fresh air. I won't be long. You'll watch him, won't you?" Not waiting for an answer, knowing in his heart that he hadn't even had to ask the question, Tony bolted from the nursery, leaving Gibbs and Nathaniel alone.

xxxxx

Gibbs sat in the vacated rocking chair and began rocking as he murmured soothingly to the crying infant. "Shh...its okay, Nathaniel. Your daddy's just having a hard time right now, but he's going to be alright. Both of you will be...I'm going to make sure of it." Honestly, with all that had happened, he had thought Tony was coping with everything a little bit too well. He thought it was good for him to let his emotions out, no matter how uncomfortable the younger man might be with it. Gibbs continued to rock the baby and hummed quietly to him. It didn't take long for the infant to drift off to sleep again. Carefully, Gibbs stood up and walked him back into Tony's room, then placed him back into the bassinet where he remained asleep.

Gibbs went back into the kitchen and was debating what to make to go with the meatloaf when he heard the sound of the front door open and shut. A few moments later, Tony entered the kitchen, looking embarrassed. "I...I'm really sorry..."

"For what? Letting go of your emotions? Nothing to be sorry for."

"Of course there's something to be sorry for," Tony said as he took a seat at the kitchen table. "I lost control of myself, scared Nathaniel, acted like a jackass and then ran out on my kid."

Gibbs shook his head. "You really have to lighten up on yourself. You need to grieve, Tony. Its the only way you're going to heal. Holding everything inside and pretending its all fine isn't going to help you or Nathaniel."

Tony remained silent, but Gibbs could tell he was listening. "I know what its like to lose someone...I know what I'm talking about."

Tony took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he met Gibbs' gaze. "I know you understand, boss...I...I'm doing the best I can with this."

"Okay," Gibbs said, nodding, knowing not to press. "Let's get some dinner and try for an early night. You have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow. You and Nathaniel have an appointment at the U.S. Consulate tomorrow afternoon. You have to file a Consular Report of Birth Abroad and then they're going to expedite Nathaniel's passport for you."

"Really?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yes. One less thing for you to worry about."

"I don't know how I'm ever going to thank you for everything you've done..."

"I already told you, Tony...no thanks are necessary. I'm going to do everything in my power to make this easier on you...You and Nathaniel are my family..."

xxxxx

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. Tony managed to convince the director that his decision was final and that although he appreciated the opportunity more than he could say, he definitely would not be staying in Naples. The members of his team were sorry to see him leave, but they understood his reasons for dong so. The personnel at the U.S. Consulate were sympathetic to his situation and very helpful regarding the situation of Ziva's death. Nathaniel's passport was in his hands by the very next day and Tony made arrangements for the three of them to fly home at the end of the week. He contacted the same overseas moving company that had moved his belongings to Italy and arranged for them to move his things back to the U.S. Unsure of where he would be living, he contacted a storage facility for the initial move. Luckily, he hadn't even unpacked everything from the first move so there wasn't a whole lot to do in that regard. Gibbs helped him and they made short work of packing Tony's belongings. Ziva's things were another story though. Tony finally decided to donate her clothes to a local woman's charity and the rest of her things he boxed up to ship along with his stuff. He wanted Nathaniel to have some of his mother's belongings. The day before their scheduled flight, Tony brought Nathaniel back to the hospital for his checkup. He had been hoping to see Maria, but learned it was her day off. Nathaniel checked out fine with the doctor and they were good to go.

xxxxx

The day of their journey home, Nathaniel began to fuss at a little after six in the morning. Yawning sleepily, Tony forced himself up and out of bed. "Morning, little guy,'' he said, smiling at his cranky son. Tony quickly changed the baby's diaper and heated up a bottle. He was sitting in the living room feeding him when Gibbs came out of his room.

"You're up early," Gibbs commented, smiling. He liked watching Tony interacting with his boy.

"Nathaniel's a pretty early riser," Tony replied with a slight chuckle. "He definitely didn't get that from me. Course he's also kinda grumpy in the morning. That he probably did get from me."

"Well, he's got a big day ahead of him," Gibbs commented.

"I hope he'll be okay on the plane," Tony said, a hint of worry in his eyes.

"He should be fine," Gibbs said. "He'll probably sleep through a lot of it."

"I hope so."

"Don't worry about it, Tony. Everything will work out."

"Yeah...I know it will," Tony forced a smile, not wanting to worry Gibbs. He'd never been anxious about flying before, but taking an infant on a flight was a whole new experience for him. He just couldn't help feeling nervous about it this time. "The doctor said I should give him a little bit of Benadryl, but...I don't know. It just seems wrong, you know? Like I'm drugging him for no reason."

"Its not for no reason. Its to make him more comfortable and help him not to get upset."

"Yeah, I guess."

Gibbs gave Tony's shoulder an encouraging pat. "I'm going to go make breakfast and I promise this will be the last time I cook while we're here."

"Ha ha, funny," Tony said as Gibbs smirked and headed off to the kitchen.

xxxxx

After Tony dropped off his keys with the landlord, they headed off. The director at NCIS had kindly allowed Tony the use of the car for the duration of the trip. He was going to send an agent to pick it up at the airport, which Tony thought was really nice of him to do. Mario's coffee shop was up ahead in the distance and Tony sighed, then pulled the car up in front. "Its wrong not to tell him," he said as Gibbs nodded his understanding.

They got out of the car with Nathaniel safely resting in Tony's arms and entered the coffee shop. "Tony! You have the bambino!" Mario was positively beaming as he approached them. "Now that is a boy to be proud of! He is beautiful, Tony. Just beautiful."

"Thanks, Mario," Tony's voice was quiet, his eyes sad and this time it did not go unnoticed.

"Is something wrong?" Mario asked. "Is it Ziva?"

Tony just stared back at Mario for few long moments. Gibbs was afraid he wasn't going to be able to get the words out, or worse yet, break down in the middle of the coffee shop, but he needn't have worried. Tony finally managed to speak. "There...there was an accident...Ziva...she didn't make it..."

"Oh no...Tony, I am so, so sorry," Mario said, looking genuinely distressed at the news. "Ziva...she was a wonderful person. I will truly miss her..."

"She liked you very much, Mario," Tony said. "I just...I wanted to give you the news before I left."

"You are leaving then?" Mario didn't look particularly surprised to hear that. "You are going back to the States?"

Tony nodded. "Yes...I have to. I just...I can't stay here...not without her. I want to bring my son back home."

"I understand. I appreciate you coming to tell me. It is truly a tragedy."

"Yeah well..." Tony shrugged, obviously uncomfortable and not knowing what else there was to say. There was no place for the light-hearted banter they had shared in the past. "We should go...we have a flight to catch."

"I will get you coffee," Mario started to prepare the hot drinks and hastily thrust some pastries into a bag. Gibbs pulled out his wallet, but Mario shook his head adamantly. "No please. There is no charge. I would like to do this. Please."

Gibbs looked to Tony for guidance who nodded. "Thank you, Mario...thank you very much," Tony said. In turn, Mario approached him and gave him a tentative hug.

"You take good care of yourself and the little one. Ziva will be watching over you."

"I will, Mario. You take care of yourself and your family. It was a pleasure getting to know you."

"God bless, Tony," Mario said, as he blinked back tears, watching as Gibbs and Tony left his coffee shop for the last time..

xxxxx

"That wasn't fun," Tony said after he had securely fastened Nathaniel into his car seat.

"No," Gibbs agreed. "But it was the right thing to do."

"Yeah, I know it was." Tony sighed and turned the key in the ignition. He glanced at the coffee shop window before pulling out. Mario was standing behind the glass, looking really sad. Tony gave him one last wave, which Mario returned, then he pulled away. Finally, they were on their way home.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thanks for all your support, as always. I'm really glad you're liking his story. This chapter is transitional and might be a bit of a snoozer lol. I promise that things will get more interesting (at least I hope so). In any case, I hope this update isn't too boring for you all. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)**

xxxxx

The man sitting next to Tony broke into yet another coughing fit and Gibbs could feel the younger man tense up beside him. "Why don't we just switch seats?" Gibbs suggested for the umpteenth time, and once again Tony shook his head. "Well then why don't you let me hold Nathaniel for a while."

Tony hesitated briefly, but then nodded and carefully transferred the sleeping infant into Gibbs' arms. "Thanks," he said, feeling a little bit better. The farther away Nathaniel was from this guy who had God only knew what wrong with him, the better he liked it. He had steadfastly refused to switch seats with Gibbs though, knowing the older man's problems with his knees and wanting to give him as much leg room as possible.

"Only another couple of hours and we'll be home," Gibbs said quietly.

"Can't be soon enough for me," Tony said. Nathaniel had been really good during the flight, but Tony's nerves were getting the best of him. "I hope he doesn't get sick," he murmured, keeping his voice down.

"Try not to worry about it," Gibbs said, but he knew his words were falling on deaf ears. He had to admit, if he were in Tony's shoes, he would be thinking similar thoughts. He too, was eager for the plane to land, not only because of Tony's constant anxiety, but his own knees were stiff and swollen and he had definitely had enough of long plane trips to last him for quite some time.

"Why don't you try to sleep for a bit." He knew Tony hadn't slept at all during the flight, not even when Gibbs had been holding the baby.

"Not tired."

Gibbs gave Tony a dubious look. He knew that wasn't true but didn't say anything. Hopefully he'd just crash once they got to Gibbs' house.

"He's a pretty good baby, don't you think?" Tony asked, wanting to change the subject away from his own inability to sleep. "I mean, not that I have any real basis for comparison, but it seems to me that he's really good."

Gibbs nodded in agreement. It was true. Kelly had been much fussier when she was a baby. "He is very good."

Tony sighed and sat back, rolling his eyes as the coughing of the man beside him started up once again. He could hardly wait to get his son off of this plane.

xxxxx

Tony paid the cabdriver and unhooked Nathaniel's car seat from the back of the taxi then followed Gibbs up the walkway. The driver carried their luggage and placed it in front of the door before heading off. Tony watched as Gibbs took out his keys and unlocked the front door.

"Not used to seeing your door actually locked," Tony said as he shifted his arm to keep the strap of the diaper bag from slipping off his shoulder.

"Even I wouldn't leave the house unlocked indefinitely," Gibbs stated as he opened the door and allowed Tony to walk in ahead of him.

They walked into the living room and Tony carefully put Nathaniel and his car seat down then collapsed onto the sofa. "Oh man, I am wiped out," he finally admitted.

"Thought you weren't tired," Gibbs smirked as he sat down beside his agent.

"I wasn't tired when you asked me before," Tony explained. "But I am now. I do need to run out and get a few things though for Nathaniel. Do you mind if I borrow your car?" He wanted to hurry up and get it over with before he totally lost his motivation.

Gibbs shook his head. "You don't need to go out."

"Yeah, I do need to. I don't even have a place for Nathaniel to sleep. I mean, I guess he would sleep on the bed with me, but I'm afraid I'd roll over and squish him or something," Tony said, his eyes becoming anxious once again. "Plus, I need to get more diapers and stuff. I don't have enough left."

"Its taken care of, Tony," Gibbs said softly. "Abby and McGee went out and got some diapers, baby wipes and formula. You're all set for now."

"But..."

"I said you're all set," Gibbs voice was quiet but he looked a little bit emotional. "I have a bassinet..."

"You..." Tony suddenly realized what Gibbs was saying. "Are you sure? I mean, I can..." he trailed off, his eyes uncertain.

"I'm sure. Its late. You should put him down and think about getting some sleep yourself. Are you hungry? I could fix us something."

Tony shook his head. "I'm not really hungry."

Okay," Gibbs said with a nod. He wasn't hungry either, just bone weary and the idea of stretching out on his comfortable bed sounded like heaven. "Lets see about getting the two of you settled then."

"Sounds good."

They headed upstairs and Gibbs opened the door to the guest room. It had started out as a guest room, then had turned into more of a storage area, but now it was back to a guest room again. Gibbs' eyes immediately went to the white, wicker bassinet that was sitting in a corner of the room. He hadn't seen it in agees and it immediately brought him back in time...

"_Jethro, how many pictures do you have to take?" Shannon laughed as she walked into the brightly colored nursery, the sleeping infant held snugly in her arms._

"_Its not every day my wife and brand new baby girl come home from the hospital," Gibbs grinned happily as he snapped another photograph._

_Shannon carefully placed the child into the bassinet then leaned back against Jethro who wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "I still can't believe she's ours," Shannon whispered as she gazed down at their baby. "She's so beautiful."_

"_She is beautiful...Just like her mother," Gibbs said softly as he dropped a kiss on the top of his wife's head. "You did good, Shannon."_

"_We did good," Shannon corrected gently. She tilted her head towards him and their lips met in a kiss. It had been a perfect moment, one that would remain etched in Gibbs' mind forever. _

"Its great, boss..." Tony's voice brought Gibbs back into the present. "Thank you...I know how much this means to you..."

"Its good to get some use out of it," Gibbs replied, his eyes moving from the sleeping child to Tony, who was unsuccessfully trying to stifle a yawn. He had been looking exhausted more often than not these days, but now even more so after the long trip. "Get some sleep...I'll see you in the morning."

Tony nodded. "Thanks for everything...good night..."

"Good night."

Gibbs left Tony and Nathaniel and headed off to his own room, stretching his muscles as he walked. Damn, he was going to be sore in the morning. He entered his room and quickly got undressed then practically fell into bed. He had to admit, it felt good to be home. In practically no time at all, he was asleep.

Tony's eyes followed Gibbs as he left the room and closed the door behind him. He leaned down over the bassinet and gave Nathaniel a kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight, little guy. Sleep tight." He then remembered that his his suitcase was still down in the living room. Sighing heavily, he forced himself to go downstairs to retrieve the luggage and hauled it up to his room then quickly got ready for bed. Once he was lying down though, he found sleep wasn't going to come easily to him. He started thinking of Ziva and her body which was now lying in Ducky's morgue. He didn't like thinking about her being there, cold and alone. He knew he was going to have to make plans for a funeral servicce and subsequent burial. He wasn't really sure what she would have wanted. It wasn't something they had ever discussed. His thoughts were on Nathaniel though and he wanted to do what was best for him. He knew that was what Ziva would have wanted as well. Finally, the need to sleep overcame his troubled thoughts and he drifted off.

The sound of Nathaniel's crying interrupted Tony's slumber at about four a.m. Disoriented at first, it took Tony a few seconds to remember where he was. Sleepily, he got up out of bed and went to pick up Nathaniel from the bassinet. "Shh...its okay...daddy's here," he said softly. He brought the infant downstairs and warmed up a bottle then carried the baby out into the living room to feed him. "I hope you didn't wake up grandpa." He knew Gibbs didn't mind them being there, but he didn't want to be a huge disruption in the man's life either. He needed to think about a job and finding a place to live as well as to figuring out who would take care of Nathaniel while he worked. It was too much to think about at once and he found it very overwhelming, to say the least. It was after five before Tony brought Nathaniel back upstairs, changed his diaper and put him down. The child whimpered for a short time, but finally settled back down and shortly afterwards, Tony dropped off as well.

xxxxx

Gibbs woke up at nine, still feeling tired and a little bit out of sorts. He took some ibuprofen for his knees which were very sore and slowly walked downstairs. It was Saturday and he fully expected that the team would be making an appearance at some point during the day. He was a bit apprehensive about it though. Although he knew Tony would be happy to see them, it would also serve as a reminder that although he was back in the states, he was no longer a part of the team. He went into the kitchen and started to brew some coffee. After only a few minutes, Tony came down the stairs with a very unhappy-sounding baby in his arms. "Morning.." Tony mumbled.

"Good morning...you want me to take him?" Gibbs asked..

Tony nodded gratefully as he handed the squalling child off to Gibbs. "Thanks, boss. I'm going to go heat up his bottle."

"What's the matter, Nathaniel?" Gibbs whispered, rocking the baby as he tried to soothe him. "Daddy's getting your bottle for you. It won't be long, okay?"

Just then, Gibbs' cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and sighed. "Yeah, Abs," he said, picking up the phone.

"Gibbs! Are you back?" Abby squealed, obviously very excited. "Is that Tony's baby crying? Aww...what's wrong with him? He sounds so adorable."

"Yes, we're back, but its not really the best time," Gibbs said, trying not to let his annoyance show.

"Oh okay, I totally understand," Abby said. "We want to come over and see Tony and the baby today. What time is good?"

Gibbs shook his head in frustration. He was finding it hard to even think with the baby crying. "I don't know, Abby. Two o'clock, maybe?"

"Perfect! I can hardly wait to see Tony and his little angel and you too, of course, Gibbs. We'll bring over some lunch. See you later. Give Tony my love!"

"Who was that?" Tony asked, coming back into the room with the bottle. "He's really fussy. I think the traveling threw him all off."

"It was Abby. The team wants to come over to see you and the baby. I told her two o'clock was good. I hope that's okay."

"Yeah, its okay. It'll be good to see them," Tony said as he sat down next to Gibbs. "You want me to take him?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No, I'd like to feed him if you don't mind."

"Not a problem," Tony said as he handed Gibbs the bottle, then leaned his head back against the sofa with a heavy sigh as he closed his eyes.

Gibbs placed the nipple of the bottle in Nathaniel's mouth and the infant started greedily sucking down the formula. He then glanced over at Tony. '"Didn't you sleep?" he asked.

"Yeah...some," Tony said as he forced his eyes back open.

"Why don't you try to sleep a while longer. I'll look after Nathaniel," Gibbs suggested. Tony was starting to worry him. He wasn't sleeping well and only ate when Gibbs made it an issue. He shuddered to think what would happen if he was left to his own devices.

"No... I need to try to contact a rabbi to arrange a memorial service for Ziva," Tony replied. "I need to find a funeral home...There's a lot of stuff I have to do."

"Most rabbis are probably conducting services this morning. Come on," Gibbs coaxed. "Just for a little while. You look like crap, DiNozzo. You can make the calls later. You'll still have time before the team arrives."

Tony hesitated as he considered Gibbs' offer and then nodded slowly. "Okay...Just for a while though. If you need me..."

"I'll call you if I need you, Tony, but I don't think I will. I have done this before you know," Gibbs smirked and Tony returned the smile.

"Okay, thanks..." He gently placed his hand on Nathaniel's head. "Daddy will see you in just a little while," he said softly before he headed back upstairs to hopefully get a bit more sleep. Gibbs watched as Tony slowly trudged back up the stairs, trying very hard to ignore the feeling of foreboding in his gut.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Thanks so much for all your nice comments on the last chapter. I really appreciate all your support. I probably won't be able to update this before Thanksgiving so I want to wish all who celebrate it a very happy holiday. (And I don't think the ending of this chapter will be making anyone crazy lol) Hope you like it. :)**

**xxxxx**

"_Ziva..." Tony breathed, shocked to see her standing there, right in front of him. She was wearing a long, white silk gown which clung to her curves. Her hair was pulled back by a glittering diamond headband. She had never looked more beautiful, but as he drew closer to her, he was struck by the look in her eyes. They appeared harsh and cold._

_"Ziva?" This time he said her name tentatively. "I...I can't believe you're here...you have no idea how much I've missed you." _

"_But I do know, Tony," she said icily. "I've been watching...that is why I am here."_

_"I don't understand..." He was looking at her uncertainly now. Something was definitely wrong with her. He could tell she wasn't the least bit happy to see him._

_"I never took you for a coward, Tony. I now see how wrong I was."_

_"What are you talking about?" Her words hurt and made him angry as well. He could be called a lot of things, but coward was not one of them. "I'm not a coward, Ziva."_

_"Then what exactly do I call you, Tony?" she spat out. "You couldn't get out of Naples quickly enough."_

"_Wh...what? You...you wanted me to come back to the United States. You made me promise that I would..."_

_You could have waited for Nathaniel to be a little older. Instead, you fled like a frightened rabbit, unable to cope with your grief like an adult. You put my son on a plane next to a sick man when he was barely a week old. What kind of a father does that, Tony? I'll tell you what kind...a bad father. You dare to complain about your own father? Well, the orange doesn't fall off the tree."_

_"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," Tony corrected automatically._

_"Apples, oranges, it does not matter! You are incapable of raising Nathaniel and now you have lost your chance to do so."_

"_It hasn't exactly been easy," Tony said. "I'm still learning...this is all new to me. I'll get better. I promise I will."_

"_Well, it should have been me taking care of him, not you," Ziva spat out. "Maybe if you had paid better attention while you were driving, this would not have happened."_

"_I never even saw the other car...you know that."_

"_That is just what I mean, Tony. You didn't even see it, but you should have."_

_He looked stricken by her words and said nothing, just gazed back at her. Finally, he spoke. "I'm sorry, Ziva...you'll never know how sorry..."_

"_Too little, too late, Tony. Nathaniel is mine. I am taking him with me."_

"_What? No! What are you talking about?" he asked. "How can you take him? That isn't even possible."_

"_There is one way..."_

"_No! I won't let you have him."_

_There is no way for you to stop me." Ziva walked over to the bassinet and picked up the sleeping child. "Hello, my little one," she whispered. "Your momma has come to take you home."_

"_You can't take him! You don't mean it. You'd deprive him of the chance to live his life because of your feelings for me? How could you do that? You hate me that much?"_

"_I do not hate you, Tony. I no longer care enough to hate you. This is for the best. You are a terrible father and do not deserve the chance to raise him. He is better off with me than with you, even if it must be in the afterlife." Nathaniel started to cry and Ziva tried unsuccessfully to comfort him. "There, there, it is okay. You will be safe with me."_

"_He wants me Ziva. He's used to me. Give me my son," Tony stepped towards her, but when he put his hand out to try to touch Nathaniel, his hand grasped nothing but air._

"_He is coming with me, Tony...Enjoy the rest of your lonely life..." The images of Ziva and Nathaniel slowly started to fade._

"_Please don't do this," Tony called out desperately. "Ziva, please...if I ever meant anything at all to you, don't take my boy." It was too late though. Ziva and Nathaniel were gone. _

xxxxx

Gibbs could hear Tony's cries plainly, even from the first floor. Nathaniel was sleeping soundly in his arms. Carefully, he transferred the child onto the sofa, tucking a pillow beside him for good measure, even though he knew he was too young to roll over. He then bolted up the stairs to find Tony thrashing about in the grips of yet another nightmare. Gibbs sat on the bed and gently grabbed Tony who twisted away from him. "Don't take him!" Tony screamed. "Please, please bring him back...Nathaniel!"

"Tony...Tony, wake up," Gibbs said, as he rubbed his back. "Come on now. You're okay. Nathaniel's okay."

Tony finally opened his eyes and blinked up at Gibbs. "Boss?"

"Yeah, its me...it was just a nightmare. "You're okay."

"She...she took Nathaniel..." Tony got out of bed and rushed over to the bassinet. "He's really gone," he said with a hitch in his voice, the color draining from his cheeks. "She took him...I'll never see him again."

Gibbs shook his head. "Tony, he's fine. He's downstairs sleeping."

"You left him alone?" Tony shouted as he fled from the room and ran down the stairs. When he got to the living room, he calmed down when he saw the sleeping infant. Tony hesitantly reached out and lightly touched his cheek, assuring himself that he was really there. He then sat down heavily on the sofa and dejectedly lowered his head into his hands. Gibbs sat down next to him and kept silent for a few minutes then spoke. "You feel like telling me about it?' he asked.

"Ziva came, " Tony began, keeping his head buried. "She told me I was a bad father...and that the accident was my fault. She said I wasn't capable of taking care of him...that I shouldn't have left Italy so soon, that I'll be to blame if he gets sick...then...then she took him."

"Tony...that wasn't Ziva," Gibbs said quietly. "She would never think those things about you. She would never take your son from you." It didn't matter that it wasn't even possible for her to do so, what mattered was that Tony was being overwhelmed by insecurities and guilt.

Tony raised his head and looked back at Gibbs. "You don't know that."

Gibbs nodded. "Yes...yes, I do know that. I know how much she loved you. Having your baby was the greatest gift she could ever give to you. She would never take that away. All these things happening in your dreams...its all you, its not Ziva. You're letting things eat away at you...its not good," he ended softly.

Tony said nothing as he leaned his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Look, you barely slept," Gibbs continued, at a loss as to how he could make the situation any better. "You're starting to get run down. Why don't you go try again?"

Tony opened his eyes and shook his head hastily. "Not tired." There was no way in hell he was going to try to sleep anymore, not after that dream. "I think I'll just go take a hot shower if that's okay." He glanced at Nathaniel who was sleeping peacefully. "You think I should bring him back upstairs?"

"No. Why disturb him? I'll keep an eye on him. Go ahead."

"Thanks, boss." Tony managed a glimmer of a smile, but it was forced and not at all convincing. He then left the room, leaving a very worried Gibbs behind.

xxxxx

"Why are you so jittery?" McGee asked Abby who was bouncing up and down beside him as they stood outside Gibbs' house, waiting for someone to open the door.

"I can't help it, Timmy," Abby replied. "I'm so excited to see Tony and his baby, but I'm also really sad about Ziva. I'm just very mixed up and don't know how to act."

"Just act natural, Abs," Gibbs replied as he opened the door.

"Gibbs! Welcome home, I'm so happy to see you," Abby said as she threw herself into his arms.

"Thanks," Gibbs said, smiling as he returned her embrace. "Its good to be home."

"Hey, boss," McGee greeted Gibbs. "I'd shake your hand, but as you can see, mine are kind of full right now." He had a bag of food from 'Ming's' Chinese Restaurant in one hand and a large shopping bag in the other. Gibbs relieved him of the food bag as they followed Abby who had gone into the house ahead of them.

The minute Abby set eyes on Tony, all her doubts about how to treat him or what to say fled from her mind. He smiled as she approached him, but his eyes looked sad and she had never seen him look so tired and dare she even say fragile. "Oh, Tony," she said softly as she hugged him close to her. "I am so, so sorry."

"Thanks, Abby." He leaned into her, allowing her to comfort him as he unsuccessfully tried to blink back tears. He had really missed her. Finally, they broke apart and gazed at each other. Abby's eyes were also brimming with emotion.

"We won't ever forget her," she said. "And we'll tell Nathaniel all about her as he gets older. Ziva told me lots of stories, Tony...some of them I don't even think you know. He will get to know his mother. We'll make sure of it."

McGee came over to him then, standing awkwardly off to the side while Abby spoke. "Its good to see you, Tony," McGee said quietly as they shook hands then briefly embraced. "I just wish the circumstances were different. I'm really sorry. Ziva will be missed."

"Thanks, Probie," Tony replied, relatively composed now. "I hear you've been doing a good job. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." A faint blush tinged McGee's cheeks at the unexpected praise.

A smile was on Gibbs' face as he watched from across the room. This was good for Tony. He needed his friends right now, or rather his family.

Just then, Abby's eyes set upon the bassinet on the far side of the living room. Gibbs and Tony had decided earlier to bring it downstairs for the day. "Oh my God!," she squealed, unable to contain her excitement. "Is he in there?"

"Yeah, he is," Tony smiled then, a look of pride on his face as he walked over to the bassinet with Abby and McGee following. "Abby, Tim...this is Nathaniel."

Abby was instantly in love as she got her first look at the sleeping child. "Oh Tony...he is, without a doubt, the most perfect baby in the entire world."

"He's beautiful, Tony," McGee nodded in agreement.

The doorbell rang and Gibbs went off to answer it. "Good afternoon, Jethro," Ducky greeted as the door opened.

"Hey, Ducky," Gibbs said.

"How is Anthony holding up?" Ducky asked as he stepped inside the house and Gibbs closed the door, taking the wrapped box Ducky was carrying from his arms.

"He's all over the place emotionally," Gibbs said, shaking his head, concern evident in his expression.

"That's to be expected, Jethro," Ducky said, keeping his voice low as they entered the living room. As you well know, these things take time."

"I know but..." he trailed off as Tony spotted Ducky and came over to greet him. "Hi, Ducky. Its good to see you."

"Anthony, my dear boy, I am very sorry for your loss," Ducky said, embracing him tightly. "Ziva will always hold a very special place in our hearts."

"I appreciate that, Ducky," Tony said. He hated this. He couldn't help but think about how different things would have been returning with Ziva and Nathaniel just to visit. He hated the aura of sadness that surrounded them. "Would you like to see the baby?" he asked, trying to keep the dark thoughts at bay.

"Of course," Ducky nodded and Tony led him over to the bassinet. McGee and Abby made room so that Ducky could move in to see him. "He is truly exquisite indeed," Ducky said, captivated by the child. "You must be very proud."

Tony nodded. "Yes, yes I'm very proud of him and I love him more than I ever thought possible."

Ducky nodded. "That's as it should be. You're going to be a fine father, Anthony."

"Thanks...I hope so. Listen, while I've got you all here...I spoke to a rabbi earlier. A service is planned for Monday morning at 10 at the Congregation Beth Shalom Synagogue. I know you might have a case or something, but..."

"We'll be there, Tony," Gibbs said as he clasped his shoulder.

"I know you want to be there, boss," Tony said, "but you just never know about these things and I understand if something comes up and you guys can't make it."

"I'm not going back to work until Tuesday," Gibbs stated. "We'll all be there, Tony. Don't worry about it. I'll see to it."

"Thanks," Tony gave Gibbs a grateful look. Gibbs always pulled through for him. It was the one thing he could always count on.

xxxxx

Ming's was Tony's favorite Chinese restaurant and Gibbs was happy to see the younger man eat with gusto. He inwardly offered silent thanks to Abby and McGee for having chosen so well. After they had eaten their fill, Abby clapped her hands together. "Now, its time for presents," she said gleefully.

"You guys didn't have to bring gifts," Tony protested.

"Of course we did," Abby smiled. "Anyhow, the gifts are for Nathaniel, not you, so you really have no say in the matter. That's what you do for new babies. Now, these are from me and Timmy," she said, thrusting a shopping bag into Tony's lap.

Smiling, Tony dutifully began to open up the gifts. He laughed as he unfolded a tiny t-shirt which proclaimed, 'I love My Aunt Abby.' "That's great, Abs."

Next, came a Baby's First Laptop. "I wonder who picked this one out, " Tony grinned as he looked at the toy with interest.

"I know he's kind of young for it," McGee began, half-apologetically. "But babies grow fast and..."

"It's perfect, McGee," Tony interrupted him. "I love it and I'm sure he will too."

There were other outfits, baby books and a set of soft baby blocks, all of which Tony loved . Then Ducky handed him his gift, which Tony ripped open eagerly. He had totally gotten into the spirit of accepting the gifts. "Oh...this is beautiful, Ducky," he said as he pulled out a tartan baby blanket, There was also a large teddy bear, wearing a tartan vest which matched the pattern of the blanket. "Thank you. Thanks so much to all of you. All of this is so great. I couldn't ask for better friends."

At that moment, Nathaniel decided to make his presence known and started to fuss. "Oh. Tony...can I?" Abby asked as she sprung up like a jack-in-the-box. "Please?"

"Sure, go ahead," Tony grinned as he stood up as well. "He's due to eat. I'll go warm up his formula. You can feed him if you'd like."

"I would love that." She went over to the bassinet and gently lifted Nathaniel up into her arms. "Don't cry," she cooed softly as she began to rock him. "I'm your Auntie Abby and I am so happy to finally meet you. You are the most precious baby I've ever seen. Your daddy went to get your bottle and then I'm going to feed you, our very first meal together. It will be the first of many. I can promise you that."

Tony returned with the bottle a few minutes later and handed it to Abby. "Here you go, Abs."

Abby started feeding the baby who hungrily began gulping down the formula. "He has your appetite, Tony," McGee smirked.

"I'm glad he does," Tony said. One of his biggest fears was that Nathaniel would end up sick or be harmed in some way. "He's a healthy little guy." He turned his attention to Ducky. "Speaking of which, I'm going to have to get him a pediatrician. Do you know anyone good?"

Ducky nodded. "Yes, I know several, in fact. I will email their names and backgrounds to you this evening."

"That'd be great. Thanks." Another thing Tony could check off his mental checklist. He was trying hard to take care of the things he had to without getting too far ahead of himself. One step at a time

That was the best way to do it.

xxxxx

The rest of the afternoon was spent alternating between passing Nathaniel around to his new family and pleasant conversation. No one wanted to see Tony upset and topics were chosen carefully with that in mind. At 6:30, everyone was preparing to leave when Nathaniel started bawling.

"Ooh, He doesn't want us to leave," Abby said.

"No...don't think that's it, Abs," McGee said, backing away from the bassinet. "I think your son needs you, Tony."

"Yeah, I think you're right. I'm going to go change him," Tony said, with a chuckle, as he picked up the wailing infant. "Thanks for everything, guys. I'll see you Monday."

"You're the cutest poppa ever, Tony," Abby grinned as they watched Tony heading up the stairs.

"He's good with the baby," McGee said, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice as Abby socked him in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For not giving Tony enough credit. He's going to be a great daddy."

"I didn't say he wouldn't. I just thought he would take longer to get comfortable with it. I'm impressed. That's all I'm saying."

"Today meant a lot," Gibbs said as he escorted their friends to the door. "You cheered him up, at least for now. It was just what he needed and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

"No thanks are necessary, Jethro," Ducky stated.

McGee nodded in agreement. "We all care about him, boss."

"You know we love Tony, Gibbs," Abby said as she kissed him on the cheek. "He's family. We're going to do whatever it takes to get him through this."


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: As always, thanks so much for your nice notes and reviews. They mean a lot to me. Brief episode spoilers through season seven are mentioned in this chapter. **

**Warning, this is a sad, angsty chapter and the ending is a bit of a cliffhanger.**

xxxxx

Monday morning...the day of Ziva's funeral. Tony pushed the curtains aside and looked out through the bedroom window. It was a gray day...fitting that it would be so on the day he was saying goodbye to the woman he had loved...the mother of his child. The sky was overcast and trees were swaying in the wind. He let the curtains fall back into place then walked over to Nathaniel's bassinet. "I'll have to dress you warmly today, little guy," he whispered to the sleeping infant. "It looks like a cold one." He then turned away, covering his mouth as he coughed. The cold, which he had been so worried about Nathaniel catching, had caught him instead. He had been coughing and sneezing for the past twenty-four hours and generally felt miserable. He supposed that was also fitting though. He deserved to feel miserable...especially today...

There was a soft knock on the bedroom door. "Come in," Tony called out. His voice was raspy, both from just having awoken and the effects of his cold.. The door opened and Gibbs walked into the room.

"Good morning...I just wanted to make sure you were awake..." His expression was a combination of sympathy and concern as he gazed at Tony. The younger man had been looking haggard for days, rarely eating or sleeping properly. Gibbs was not at all surprised that he was sick, had been expecting it, in fact. It only served to increase the tension in his gut and the ominous feeling he had about the day ahead of them. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, boss," Tony answered wearily. "Its just a cold."

Gibbs nodded, willing to accept that for now. He wasn't going to put any undue pressure on Tony today, didn't want to make things any harder than they already were. He walked over to Tony's side and gazed down at Nathaniel. "How did he do last night?"

"Woke up twice...wasn't too bad," Tony said. The ever present dark circles under his eyes said otherwise though. Gibbs had offered to take the baby into his room. He had wanted to give Tony the chance to get a good night's sleep, but Tony wouldn't hear of it.

"You hungry?" Gibbs asked.

Tony shook his head. "No...I don't really think I can eat anything." His stomach was tied up in knots.

"You should eat something," Gibbs coaxed. "Even if its just a piece of toast."

Tony sighed softly the nodded. "Okay. I'll have toast, but I'm going to take a shower first, while Nathaniel is still sleeping."

"I already showered. I'll be downstairs."

Tony nodded again, then watched as Gibbs left the room, closing the door behind him. He sat down heavily on the bed and inhaled shakily. He wasn't quite sure how he was going to get through this day. He hated funerals as a rule and he knew this would be the hardest one he had ever had to go through. He started coughing again and tried to muffle the sound by burying his face into his arm. He had seen the worried glances Gibbs was shooting his way and didn't want to give the man any more cause for concern. After the coughing subsided, he went into the bathroom, stripped off his clothes and got into the shower. He turned the water up as hot as he dared and deeply inhaled the steam, hoping it would help to loosen the congestion in his chest. He stayed under the hot water for longer than he had planned, trying to relax. By the time he got out and made his way back into the bedroom, the bassinet was empty. He quickly threw on some sweats and hurried downstairs. Gibbs was sitting on the sofa in the living room feeding Nathaniel. "Sorry, boss," Tony said quickly. "I stayed in the shower longer than I meant to...I probably should have waited until after he woke up."

"I enjoy spending time with him," Gibbs said, warmly smiling down at the child. "You don't have anything to apologize for. I made coffee. Its in the kitchen. Why don't you go have some and get yourself something to eat."

"Yeah, okay...do you want anything?"

Gibbs shook his head. "I ate earlier. By the way, the catering company called. They'll be here at noon to set up."

"Thanks," Tony said with a nod. He was going to invite people back to the house after the service. "And I really appreciate you letting me use your house."

"Not a problem."

Tony went into the kitchen and put a single slice of bread into the toaster. When the evenly browned piece of toast popped back up, he smoothed some butter over it and tried to force it down. It was like trying to eat sandpaper. He gave up after two bites and threw the toast into the garbage. He then walked back into the living room. "Did you eat?" Gibbs asked, looking back at Tony as he burped Nathaniel.

"Some," Tony said with a shrug, feeling himself beginning to tense up.

"Tony...You need to eat," Gibbs said softly.

"I can't eat right now, okay?" Tony retorted, his voice rising. "I...I'm just not hungry. I can't help it. When today is over with I'll eat, boss. But right now... I'm sorry...I just can't." He ran his hand through his damp hair and nervously paced around the living room like a caged animal, appearing on the verge of tears.

"Okay...all right, Tony," Gibbs said, wishing he had kept his mouth shut. It seemed like the smallest thing would be able to set DiNozzo off today. "Its fine...don't worry about it."

Tony walked over to the window and stared out into the street. There were a few long moments of silence before he spoke. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to take this out on you. You...you're doing everything to help me and...I just..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Gibbs stood up and walked over to Tony, gently placing his hand on his shoulder. "You don't need to apologize to me. I understand how hard this is. Why don't you go up and get dressed. We don't have a lot of time before we need to leave."

Tony nodded. "I'll take him," he said, holding his arms out for his son. "You need to get dressed too."

Gibbs handed the baby off to Tony who held the child closely and pressed a kiss onto his cheek. "Come on, little guy," he said softly. "Let's go get ready. We...we have to say goodbye to your mommy today." Though his eyes were watery, he managed to pull off a glimmer of a smile for Gibbs' benefit, then headed upstairs with Nathaniel held tightly in his arms.

xxxxx

About half the seats in the synagogue were filled. There were a lot of people from NCIS in attendance, including Director Vance. Tony sat in the front pew, flanked by Abby and Gibbs. Nathaniel was nestled against his chest, asleep in a baby sling Abby had given him. McGee was sitting next to Abby and Ducky sat next to Gibbs, Jimmy Palmer sat next to Ducky. As the service began, Tony's eyes were fixed on the simple wooden casket at the front of the synagogue. He had wanted something more elaborate, but the rabbi had told him a wooden casket was traditional so he had decided on that instead. Memories began to flood his mind...the first time he had ever set eyes on Ziva...the time they had gone undercover as a couple...their trip to Paris... the moment Saleem had pulled the hood from her head in the terrorist cell and he realized she was still alive. He would give anything to have that moment now...to have her suddenly appear in front of him, alive and healthy, but he knew it wasn't to be. He was unable to stifle the sudden sob that escaped him followed by steady tears that he didn't even try to stop, He was vaguely aware of Gibbs rubbing his back comfortingly and Abby resting her head on his shoulder, but the service itself was a blur. He heard words being spoken, a mixture of Hebrew and English, but he couldn't focus on them. He was only thinking of the piece of his life he had lost and the son in his arms who would never have the chance to know his mother...

xxxxx

The rabbi led the mourners in a graveside prayer as the ceremony ended.

_God full of mercy who dwells on high  
Grant perfect rest on the wings of Your Divine Presence  
In the lofty heights of the holy and pure  
who shine as the brightness of the heavens  
to the soul of Ziva  
who has gone to her eternal rest  
as all her family and friends  
pray for the elevation of her soul.  
Her resting place shall be in the Garden of Eden.  
Therefore, the Master of mercy will care for her  
under the protection of His wings for all time  
And bind her soul in the bond of everlasting life.  
God is her inheritance and she will rest in peace  
and let us say Amen. _

One by one, starting with Tony, the mourners scooped up three shovelfuls of dirt and dropped them onto the casket, which had already been lowered into the grave. Tony had been holding it together since leaving the synagogue, but now, the tears were freely flowing from his eyes once again as he stared down into the open grave. He visibly flinched each time more dirt hit the casket. It was all hitting home for him. He couldn't bear the thought of Ziva being buried in the cold, dark ground, forever silent in an endless sleep. He would never see her smile again, never listen to her teasing, never kiss her or make love to her. He could feel his whole body shivering and Abby grabbed for his hand. "Its okay to cry, Tony," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks as well. "Just let it out.."

He clutched Abby's hand and tried to calm down, but then his attention was drawn to an approaching limousine. His body stiffened and he watched as the limo stopped and the doors opened. The driver got out first, followed by four unfamiliar men. Then his eyes widened and he stared in silent shock as Eli David exited from the limo.

"Keep it together, Tony," he heard Gibbs whisper. "I'm right here with you. He cannot do anything... not here..."

Tony nodded, trying to do what Gibbs wanted, never taking his eyes off Ziva's father as he slowly approached the grave site.

Finally, Eli arrived and he stood in front of Tony, expressionless. "Agent DiNozzo...we meet again."

Tony could feel his heartbeat quicken as Abby tightened her grasp on his hand. Instinctively, he moved his other hand over Nathaniel, protectively pulling his son closer against his chest.

"Director David," Tony greeted, inwardly grateful that his voice sounded steady and strong, in direct contrast to how he was feeling inside.

"So...Am I to assume it was merely an oversight that you neglected to inform me of the death of my only remaining child?"

It was a loaded question and Tony inwardly debated on how to answer it. Finally, he decided this was not the time or place for a confrontation. "I'm sorry, sir."

"Somehow, I don't believe you are." Eli stared back at Tony coldly, but then his gaze dropped to the child he was carrying. "This is your son?" he asked.

"Yes, he's my son," Tony replied, feeling his heartbeat speeding up once more.

"And MY grandson..."

Tony's eyes filled with dismay. He'd always known Eli would find out. He'd known Nathaniel couldn't be kept a secret forever, but this was much too soon. He wasn't at all prepared for this. "I..." He unconsciously took a stop backwards bumping into Gibbs in the process, who placed a reassuring hand on his back.

"Tell me, Agent DiNozzo...have you made arrangements for the child, in case you happen to meet an untimely demise?"

Gibbs had had enough. "Are you threatening him?" he asked, stepping towards Eli, his eyes filled with barely controlled rage.

Eli smiled. "Its not a threat, Agent Gibbs, merely the question of a concerned relative. After all, accidents happen. Isn't that right, Agent DiNozzo? Or perhaps I should call you Anthony or Tony now seeing as you are the father of my only grandchild?"

Tony didn't answer him, instead erupting into an intense coughing fit which left him red-faced and breathless.

"Better take care of that cough," Eli said, his voice oozing false sympathy. "You once had the Plague as I recall, did you not? I'd imagine your lungs aren't what they used to be."

"Get the hell out of here," Gibbs growled. He clenched his fists tightly against his sides as he fought against his urge to pummel the man.

"Eli..." Vance's voice broke in.

Eli nodded at his old friend. "For you, I will leave, Leon," he said, "but only for you." He shot a dark look in Tony's direction then walked towards the grave. He picked up a handful of dirt which he allowed to slowly trickle down onto the casket. "Goodbye, Ziva. I promise to look after your son." He then turned toward Tony and met his eyes in a fixed, unwavering stare. "I will be staying in D.C. indefinitely...I assure you that I will be in touch, Anthony...Good day to you all." He then headed back towards his limo, his body guards closing in around him, as Tony watched him go, clearly devastated by what had just occurred.

**AN2: Just a note regarding Jewish funeral traditions. I researched them as best I could, but did not use everything I learned. The prayer said at the cemetery is not mine. Its a traditional Jewish funeral prayer. I know its not perfect, but hopefully, I did this well enough to make it believable. As always, thanks for reading and all your support.**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Thanks so much, as always, for all your nice comments and support. Its great for my motivation. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy :)**

**xxxxx**

"Did you do this, Leon?" Gibbs hissed as he angrily turned towards Vance who quickly shook his head.

"Did I think the man had a right to know about his daughter's death? Yes I did. But, no...I didn't tell him, Gibbs. I gave you my word and I didn't break it."

Gibbs nodded and then looked at Ducky whose face mirrored the same concern shown on Gibbs' face. "We'll see you back at the house," Gibbs whispered. "When you get there, bring your bag. I want you to take a look at him." Ducky nodded and beckoned to Jimmy as he headed back to his car.

Gibbs then turned his attention to Tony who was pale and appeared very shaken. Abby was talking to him softly, obviously trying to comfort him, but Tony didn't appear to be responding to her or McGee who was by her side. "Tony? Tony, come on...let's go." He put his arm around him and gently led him from the grave site, back to the waiting limo.

They sat in silence until Nathaniel started to mildly fuss, jarring Tony back into awareness. "He's going to try to take him from me," he said, staring at Gibbs through troubled eyes as he gently rocked his son.

"You won't let him. Tony. You're Nathaniel's father."

Tony shook his head. "Eli is Ziva's father...maybe he was right...that I should have told him, but..Ziva wasn't even speaking to him, boss. He didn't know we were together...she didn't even tell him she was pregnant. Still though..." he trailed off, self doubt written all over his face.

"You can't second guess it now, Tony. What's done is done," Gibbs said, placing his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Besides...he didn't exactly act like a father to his children..."

"Yeah, I know, but..." Tony shook his head again and sighed. "This isn't going to be good..."

xxxxx

When they arrived back at Gibbs' house, Tony heated up a bottle of formula and retreated to the upstairs bedroom with Nathaniel. Gibbs sighed, his eyes on the caterers who were putting finishing touches on the spread of food . "How is he?" Ducky asked as he moved to the side of his long time friend.

Gibbs shook his head. "The hits just keep on coming, Duck. I really wish he'd catch a break. Don't know how much more he can take."

"Do you really think Director David would try to pull something?" McGee asked, joining in the conversation.

Gibbs silently stared back at McGee until the young man shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "Sorry, boss...stupid question."

The doorbell rang and Gibbs went to open the door. Vance was standing on the other side. "Gibbs," Vance greeted him. "I'm assuming I'm still welcome here?" Gibbs stood aside and allowed the director to enter his house. "I really had no idea Eli was going to show up," he continued as Gibbs closed the door.

"I believe you, Leon," Gibbs said as the two entered the living room. "But that doesn't really solve the problem now, does it?"

'There might not even be a problem," Vance stated.

"No?" Gibbs asked, glaring at Vance. "Did you not hear what he said in the cemetery? He clearly threatened DiNozzo."

"He may have just been hot under the collar. It might just all blow over. Just give it a little time. Maybe he just wants to establish a relationship with his grandson."

"You really believe that?" Gibbs asked, a look of disbelief on his face.

"I don't know what to believe," Vance admitted. "But, unfortunately, there just isn't anything we can do about it right now."

"So we wait until he tries to grab Nathaniel or goes after Tony?"

Vance shook his head. "I think you already know the answer to that. I'm sorry."

Gibbs sighed as his mind went through various possibilities and plans of action. "You know that I'm supposed to go back on duty tomorrow..."

Vance nodded. "You want to extend your leave." It was a statement, not a question. He already knew it was what Gibbs wanted to do.

"Can it be done, Leon?" Gibbs asked. "Its important."

Vance stared back at Gibbs for a long moment before slowly nodding. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks," Gibbs smiled in relief. He knew he'd feel a hell of a lot better if he was able to keep a watchful eye over Tony and Nathaniel right now, even if the younger man might not particularly appreciate it. "One more thing?"

"What is it?" Vance asked with a resigned sigh.

"You don't happen to know of any upcoming field agent positions that might be available, do you?"

"In D.C.?" Vance shook his head. "Sorry, Gibbs. I don't foresee that any time soon. The teams are fully staffed."

"Damn," Gibbs swore softly. "I didn't think so, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask."

"Its too bad you filled the positions vacated by DiNozzo and David so quickly when they left," Vance commented. "Not your usual M.O."

"True," Gibbs agreed with a nod. "Tony was insistent though. He didn't want to leave without us having the team in place. I'm sure he never could have imagined his life being torn up the way it has."

"There are other positions," Vance said. "I'm sure we could find other ways to challenge DiNozzo. Might be good for him to sharpen up his administrative skills, add something new to his resume. Not to mention, it would be safer with more standard hours. It could be a good thing now that he has a child to think about."

Gibbs nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah...not sure he'd go for that though. We've already discussed that possibility and he's not exactly eager. I'll talk to him again when the time is right."

"I'm certain your boy will land on his feet," Vance said. "And honestly, its good to see McGee get his chance. He's stepped up admirably. You should be proud."

"Never had any doubts about him," Gibbs said, still a bit distracted.

"Well, try not to worry. I don't think DiNozzo will have any trouble finding a job, Gibbs."

Gibbs nodded, knowing it was true, but it still was going to be hard having Tony back in D.C. and no longer a member of his team.

xxxxx

Tony had been upstairs for quite some time and Abby was beginning to get a little bit worried about him. Seeing that Gibbs was talking with Vance, she decided to take it upon herself to make sure that Tony was okay. She slowly walked upstairs and paused outside the partially open bedroom door. Tony was quietly speaking to Nathaniel who was lying in the bassinet..

"You'll just never know how sorry I am, little guy...If I could have a do-over for that day, I would have been more careful...more observant...something...Even if I had been able to steer the car so that my side got hit instead of your mommy's...everything would have been so much better that way...You would have been better off if you still had her and I was the one who died in the accident."

"Oh Tony," Abby entered the room and walked over to him, enveloping him in a very tight hug. "You can't really believe that. The car accident was not your fault. You need to stop blaming yourself. And Nathaniel would not be better off if you had died.". She took his hand and led him over to the bed then sat down next to him.

"How do you know it wasn't my fault, Abs?" he asked miserably. "You weren't there."

"Gibbs said it was the other driver's fault and Gibbs doesn't lie."

He shook his head. "Even so...I was so excited and nervous about the baby coming...I didn't pay as much attention as I should have. If I had..."

"Tony...you have to stop this," Abby said, her eyes serious as she gazed back at him. "This isn't helping. Its only making you feel worse and if you keep it up, it will make Nathaniel feel bad too."

"He doesn't understand what I'm saying..."

"But he'll be able to pick up on your mood if you keep on this way," Abby said. "Babies are very sensitive. You don't want to make him unhappy, do you?"

He shook his head sadly. "No...I don't want that."

"Of course you don't," Abby said, hugging him again. "You're going to be such a good father, Tony. You're already doing remarkably well. Nathaniel loves you and everything is going to work out for the two of you. You just need to believe that."

"What about Eli?"

"He's only the grandfather, Tony. You're the father. That's the most important thing. You get to make the decisions, not Eli."

"I know, but..."

"There are no buts, Tony," Abby said, shaking her head vigorously. "You have Gibbs and all the rest of us on your side. We'll help you. You're not alone in this."

"Thanks, Abby," he said, giving her a small smile, realizing how lucky he was to have this group of people in his life.

"You're welcome. Now, why don't you go downstairs for a little bit. There's lots of food down there and you need to eat something. You're getting to be positively scrawny!"

He couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I think I'm pretty far from scrawny, Abs."

"Even so, you need to eat. You've taken care of Nathaniel and now you need to take care of yourself."

He got up from the bed and turned back towards her. "You coming with me?" he asked extending his hand.

She nodded and smiled as she took his hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet and the two then headed back downstairs.

xxxxx

Gibbs had been watching Tony like a hawk ever since he and Abby had come back down to the living room. He had been glad to see him eat a bit and it appeared that Abby had put him more at ease. It was now late afternoon and all the guests, with the exception of the team, had taken their leave.

"I dare say, Jethro, you haven't taken your eyes off the boy. What do you expect to happen?" Ducky asked.

Gibbs shook his head with a wry smile. "Nothing, Duck...Guess I'm just feeling a little bit overprotective today."

"With good reason. Its totally understandable with all that has happened."

"Did you bring your bag?" Gibbs asked. "Now that almost everyone has left, maybe you could take a quick look at him."

"Yes, I brought it, Jethro. Its in the hall closet. However, I don't think Anthony is going to be particularly pleased about this."

"I don't care if he's pleased," Gibbs stated. "You're taking a look at him whether he likes it or not."

"Whatever you say. I shall go and get my bag," Ducky said.

"Thanks," Gibbs said. He then approached Tony and Abby who were sitting together on the sofa. "How you holding up?" he asked Tony.

"I'm doing okay," Tony replied.

"Ducky's going to take a look at you. He's getting his bag."

"What?" No." Tony gave Gibbs an annoyed look. "I don't need him to look at me. I told you, its just a cold. Its not a big deal."

"Humor me, DiNozzo," Gibbs said. "If its just a cold, you can tell me you told me so, okay?"

"Are we all set?" Ducky asked as he re-entered the living room with his medical bag.

"Okay, fine," Tony said as he got up from the sofa. "Let's go upstairs though. I don't need a bunch of people staring at me while we do this." He glared at Gibbs who pretended not to notice and headed upstairs, followed by Ducky.

xxxxx

"Deep breath, Anthony," Ducky said as he listened to Tony's breath sounds through the stethoscope. Tony inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled. "And now another."

"Are we almost through?" Tony asked impatiently.

"Let's get your temperature now, shall we?" Ducky said as he popped the thermometer into Tony's mouth without waiting for a response.

Tony rolled his eyes, but sat patiently until the thermometer beeped.

"98.6. Very good," Ducky said, giving a nod of satisfaction.

"I told Gibbs I wasn't sick," Tony grumbled.

"Now, now, you really can't blame the man for being a bit cautious where your health is concerned, can you?" Ducky asked. "After all, how many people do you know who have had the plague?"

"You know the answer to that, Ducky," Tony said.

Ducky nodded with a smile. "I do indeed. Besides, it can't hurt for you to take a little bit of extra care with your health now that you have a little one to think of."

"Okay, okay. You've made your point," Tony said. "Now, what's the verdict?"

"As you said, it seems that it is just a cold, but it could very well turn into something else if you don't take proper care of yourself, Anthony. That means getting more rest and eating properly."

"I'll try," Tony said.

"Don't just try. You need to do it. Colds, no matter how minor they may seem, are nothing for you to be fooling around with."

"I'll eat better and do my best to get more sleep," Tony said. "Nathaniel isn't always all that cooperative with the sleeping part of it though. There's not a lot I can do about that."

"I beg to differ," Ducky said. "I am quite sure that Jethro would be more than happy to help you with Nathaniel during the night."

Tony sighed and shook his head. "I know he would, but its not his responsibility, Ducky. He's already done so much for me. I don't want to keep piling more on top of him."

"You are being stubborn, my boy. You need to learn that its not a sign of weakness to allow others to help you."

"But..."

"One night, Anthony. Let Jethro take care of him just for tonight so you can get some proper rest."

"Is that your professional opinion?" Tony asked, offering a small smile.

"Indeed it is. Just one night. It will make a world of difference."

"Okay, one night," Tony agreed, knowing there was pretty much no way he was going to be able to get out of agreeing, in any case.

"Good boy. Let's go downstairs now and you can give Jethro his 'I told you so,'" Ducky said with a chuckle.

They went back down to the living room and Gibbs didn't have to ask if Tony was okay when he saw the self-satisfied smirk on his face. "He's fine, Jethro," Ducky informed him. "I did advise him to let you take care of Nathaniel for tonight though so he can get a good night's sleep and he agreed."

"Sounds like a good idea, Ducky," Gibbs said, grinning.

Tony just rolled his eyes and went over to talk to McGee and Jimmy.

"So he really is fine?" Gibbs asked when Tony was out of earshot.

"For now," Ducky said, nodding. "I did try to drill the importance of eating and sleeping into him, but I'm not really sure how well he listened."

"I'll take care of it," Gibbs said. He was going to do everything in his power to keep Tony and Nathaniel safe.

xxxxx

Eli threw the folder onto the table. An 8 x 10 photograph of Tony was paper clipped to the front of it. "Everything you need to know is inside."

Achban Levy picked up the photograph and studied it as he absently scratched his beard. "He looks like a pretty boy," he said, an expression of distaste on his face. "I hate pretty boys. It will be a pleasure to take care of this for you. Do you have a preference as to how it is done?"

Eli shook his head. "Just get it done and do it as quickly as possible. I don't want him to have a chance to go see a lawyer about guardianship. I can't imagine his father will pursue the issue and I 'll be able to gain custody once he's been taken care of."

"A bomb would work quite nicely," Achban said as he thumbed through the contents of the folder.

"I don't want a bomb, you fool!" Eli snapped angrily. "My grandson will be in that house as well. I don't want anyone else hurt, just DiNozzo. You make sure the child is not harmed or you won't get a dime and there will be hell to pay."

"All right, all right. I'll make certain he's the only one who's killed."

"And you'll do it quickly?

Achban nodded, a confident smile on his face. "By this time tomorrow, Anthony DiNozzo will be nothing but an unpleasant memory..."


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: As always, thanks to those of you who have been taking the time to leave reviews, especially those of you who do so regularly. I appreciate it so much. **

**Special mention to Suchrandomness for suggesting I write more team interactions about Ziva's death. Its a good idea and something I was neglecting. This chapter, it is more just Gibbs' thoughts about her, but I will be trying to incorporate more of this as the story moves along.**

*****Major Cliffhanger Warning: This is a big one and pretty evil. If you don't like cliffhangers, you might want to wait to read this until I get the next chapter written. You have been warned ;)**

xxxxx

"Hungry?" Gibbs asked as he glanced over at Tony who was stretched out on his sofa, looking more than a little bit sleepy.

Tony shook his head. "Why's everyone always trying to feed me?" he wondered out loud.

"Could be because you never eat," Gibbs commented.

"I do eat, boss," Tony said as he allowed his eyes to close and leaned his head back against the sofa.

Gibbs started to contradict him, but then decided there was really no point. It would only serve to irritate Tony and the day had been difficult enough. "Why don't you head upstairs to bed?" he suggested after a few moments of silence. Tony was stubborn, but he was practically asleep.

"In a minute," Tony mumbled sleepily.

Gibbs smiled to himself, thinking how much Tony reminded him of when Kelly was small and had been trying to avoid bedtime, denying being tired no matter how sleepy she had been. He also knew Tony would be mortified by the comparison. He was tempted to just let him sleep on the sofa, but knew he would sleep better in the comfort of his bed. Gibbs got to his feet and stretched then gently shook Tony's shoulder. "Come on, DiNozzo. Go upstairs and get some sleep."

"Okay, boss," Tony mumbled, not moving.

"Wake up," Gibbs said, lightly thumping the back of his head which roused the dozing man immediately.

"I'm awake."

"Get some sleep, Tony."

Tony was about to argue, but he couldn't fight the fact that he really was exhausted and was practically asleep on Gibbs' couch. "Alright...you win," he said with a smile. "I'll go to bed."

"Goodnight...see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, boss..thanks for everything..." Tony slowly headed upstairs and looked in on Nathaniel. The child was sleeping soundly in the bassinet which had been moved to Gibbs' room. He then went into his bedroom to get ready for bed and was out like a light practically the moment his head hit the pillow.

xxxxx

About an hour after Tony had gone to sleep, Nathaniel began to fuss. Gibbs quickly tended to the child and brought him downstairs before he had the chance to wake up Tony. "You must be hungry," Gibbs said to the baby as he went into the kitchen to warm some formula. "Just hang on for a couple more minutes and you'll be all set, okay?"

After the formula was heated, he carried Nathaniel out into the living room and settled down on the sofa with him. The baby eagerly attacked the bottle as Gibbs chuckled. "Its really true that you've got your daddy's appetite," he said with a chuckle. "At least that's how it usually is. He hasn't had his usual appetite these days."

Gibbs found himself staring into the baby's eyes...Ziva's eyes... "He's pretty broken up right now about what happened to your mommy...all of us are actually." He sighed to himself as he allowed his thoughts to drift to Ziva and what had happened to her. He hadn't allowed himself much time to really think about the tragedy that had occurred. He had been too busy trying to take care of Tony to indulge himself that way, but now, alone with Nathaniel, he let his guard down.

"Your mom was pretty incredible," he said quietly. "And she wanted you really badly. She and your daddy were just ecstatic when they found out they were expecting. I saw a whole side to her I had never seen before. She was all excited about buying baby clothes and little toys...she really would have been a terrific mother to you, Nathaniel...I wish she would have had that chance"

He thought back to the night before Ziva had left for Naples. The team had taken her out for a goodbye dinner. Everyone had said their goodbyes and had left the restaurant with the exception of Gibbs. Tony had given him and Ziva some time alone to say a private goodbye.

"_I'll wait outside," Tony said, giving Ziva a smile and a kiss on the lips. "Take your time."_

_Gibbs watched Ziva, her eyes following Tony as he left the restaurant. "You really love him," he said observantly. _

"_I do," she said, nodding, a faint smile touching the corners of her lips. "Does that surprise you?"_

"_No...well, not anymore," Gibbs replied with a grin. "There was a time when it would have surprised me. I wouldn't have expected DiNozzo to break rule number 12."_

_Ziva had laughed delightedly. "I hate to disappoint you, Gibbs, but it was not too difficult to get him to break that rule."_

"_As long as the two of you are happy," Gibbs said smirking, "And I can see that you are."_

_Ziva nodded as her hand went to her belly. "Yes...we are very happy and can't wait for our little one to arrive. Of course it is hard to leave, but, this is too good of an opportunity for Tony to pass up."_

"_And what about you and your career?" Gibbs asked. _

"_Believe it or not, I will be content to stay at home with our child, at least at the beginning. We want him to have a happy, stable home. Tony will support whatever I decide to do."_

"_It sounds like you have it all figured out," Gibbs said as they slowly started to make their way from the restaurant._

"_Not everything," Ziva admitted, "but we are trying."_

"_Well, I have to say, the two of you will certainly be missed," Gibbs said._

"_We will miss you too, but we will visit often," Ziva said. "And you will come visit us as well?"_

"_I'd like nothing better," Gibbs said nodding. "You take care of yourself, Ziva."_

"_You too, Gibbs." _

He had kissed her cheek and escorted her to where Tony was waiting in his car. He never would have imagined that would be the last time he would ever see Ziva. He blinked back the sudden moisture he felt in his eyes and shifted his focus onto Nathaniel. The best thing he could do for Ziva now was to do his best to watch over the man and child she had loved so much.

xxxxx

Bright sunlight filtered into the bedroom as Tony started to awaken. He had somehow lost the comforter during the night and now he pulled it back over his body, reveling in its warmth. He had slept heavily, not waking up once, as he had finally gotten a chance to claim some of the rest he had needed so badly. Even now, he could easily fall back to sleep if he allowed himself the luxury. He wouldn't though. He needed to get up. However, it was easier said than done. His limbs felt like lead and he couldn't even manage to raise his head from the pillow. "Just a few more minutes," he mumbled to himself as he finally gave in and dropped off once again.

xxxxx

"Good morning, did you sleep well?" Gibbs greeted Tony when he finally made an appearance downstairs a little after 10 a.m.

"I did," Tony nodded. "The question is, did you sleep well? I hope Nathaniel didn't keep you up all night."

Gibbs shook his head and smiled. "He was just fine. I enjoyed spending time with him. So...how are you feeling today?"

"Not too bad," Tony admitted. "Still have that scratchy throat thing going on and a bit of a cough, but I'll be fine."

"That's good," Gibbs nodded then turned his attention back to the stove where he was making some scrambled eggs. "You want to put bread into the toaster? This is just about done."

"Sure." Tony went and got four slices of bread which he placed into the toaster, then poured two cups of coffee. "What time are you heading into the office?" he asked, glancing at Gibbs. "Its kind of late, isn't it? You should have woken me."

Gibbs ignored the question as he used the spatula to scoop the eggs onto two plates, one of which he handed to Tony. "You might want to keep an eye on the toast. That toaster's been burning things lately. I really ought to get a new one."

"Yeah, so what time are you going in?" Tony asked, giving Gibbs a suspicious look.

"What's the matter, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked with a smirk as he put his plate on the table. "You trying to get rid of me so you can have the house to yourself?"

"Of course not." Tony pressed the button on the toaster, causing the bread to pop up, but it wasn't done yet so he pressed the button down again. "What's going on, boss?"

"I decided to take a little bit more time off, that's all," Gibbs said as he sat down at the table.

"Oh man...please don't tell me this is on account of Eli," Tony said, shaking his head. "I don't want you to do that. You need to get back to work. The team needs you."

"The team is doing just fine," Gibbs said. "Vance told me McGee is doing very well. They'll be okay for a little bit longer."

"I don't need a baby-sitter," Tony grumbled. The toast popped up, done this time and Tony put it on his and Gibbs' plates.

"I didn't say you did," Gibbs said as he spread some butter on his two slices.

"Then why are you taking off more time?" Tony asked.

"I'd just feel better if I did, Tony," Gibbs said. "If you've got a problem with that, I really don't care. I'm doing it anyway."

Tony sighed as he toyed with the eggs on his plate. He knew nothing he said would change Gibbs' mind. "Fine," he finally said.

"Well, I really wasn't asking your permission, DiNozzo," Gibbs said with a grin, "but I'm glad you're going along with this, especially since you don't have a choice."

They sat in silence as they ate their breakfast. Tony had been deep in thought, in fact, had been inwardly debating a certain matter ever since Eli's appearance at the cemetery. "I'd like to discuss something with you," he said after Gibbs had finished eating. He, himself, had eaten about half of his breakfast before giving up.

"What's on your mind, Tony?" Gibbs leaned back in his chair and gave the younger man a curious look.

"It...its about Nathaniel," Tony began. "I...I need to make arrangements for him, just in case...you know, if anything ever happened to me..."

"Tony, is this because of Eli?" Gibbs asked, already not liking the direction of Tony's thoughts

"No...I mean, yeah, when he showed up yesterday it got me thinking, but its something I really needed to figure out anyhow, even more so because Ziva is gone and I'm his only parent."

"So what have you been thinking?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"I was wondering...and its totally okay if you don't want to because I know it would be a big responsibility, but...if anything happens to me...would you want to raise Nathaniel? You don't have to answer me right now. Its a big decision."

"Yes."

"Yes, its a big decision?" Tony asked, looking back at Gibbs uncertainly.

"Yes, I would raise him if anything was to ever happen to you," Gibbs said.

"Really? I mean are you sure you don't want to think about it?"

Gibbs shook his head. "I don't need to think about it, Tony. I hope to God it never happens, but if it did, it would be an honor for me to raise your and Ziva's child."

"Thank you," Tony said earnestly, relief and gratitude evident in his eyes. "I'd like to get it taken care of as soon as I can, legally I mean...just in case something happens. My own father...we both know he wouldn't be a viable candidate and I don't want Eli to get his claws into him."

"He won't," Gibbs stated and his tone and the look of fierce intensity in his eyes assured Tony that he would do everything humanly possible to make sure he wouldn't.

xxxxx

"We have an appointment at 4 o'clock." Tony said, turning to Gibbs as he clicked off his cell phone. "I'll get my will updated and have standby guardianship papers drawn up as well."

Gibbs nodded. He still didn't like thinking about it, but he knew the decision was a prudent one, especially when one worked in law enforcement. The chance of dying in the line of duty was, unfortunately, a very real one. "Okay then," Gibbs said. "Do you have anything you'd like to do until then?"

"Yeah, I'd kind of like to pick up some things for Nathaniel. All the stuff Ziva and I got for him is still in Naples, plus I need to get more diapers and formula."

"Alright, I need to get some food in the house too," Gibbs said, thinking it might do Tony some good to get out for a while. "Maybe you can tell me what it is you might actually eat."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Not this again, boss. Do you really want me eating you out of house and home?"

"You couldn't eat yourself out of a dollhouse, these days, DiNozzo."

"Funny," Tony said, looking annoyed.

"I thought so," Gibbs replied with a grin.

Unwilling to discuss his eating habits yet again, Tony stood up. "I'm going to go get Nathaniel ready."

"Take your time,"Gibbs said. He waited for Tony to leave then went over to the window and cautiously looked outside. There were no unfamiliar cars parked outside. Nothing at all looked suspicious which was a relief. Hopefully, whatever Eli had up his sleeve would not go outside the law, though somehow Gibbs had a feeling that would not be the case. It was the reason he was now constantly not only locking his doors, but double and triple checking the locks as well. He sighed heavily and moved away from the window, hoping that when and if a move was made, that they would be able to effectively thwart it.

xxxxx

"Your son is just adorable," the waitress smiled at Tony as she handed menus to him and Gibbs.

"Thank you," Tony replied, returning the smile.

Nathaniel gurgled as if he understood the compliment and Gibbs laughed. "I think he may be a natural flirt."

"It does run in the genes, boss," Tony said with a smirk as he started to look through the menu.

Gibbs smiled as he turned his attention to the lunch specials. It had been a good day so far. He had been diligently watching for suspicious vehicles and people, but nothing at all had been amiss. They had browsed the aisles at Babies R Us and Tony had been positively eating up the numerous comments he had been receiving on his son. "So, is there anything else you'd like to do today?" he asked, after having decided on the meatloaf special as his lunch choice.

"Can't think of anything," Tony replied, shaking his head. "I guess we should just head back and put Nathaniel down for a nap before meeting with the lawyer."

"Sounds good."

They ended up having a pleasant lunch and Gibbs had been inwardly thrilled when Tony had polished off his burger and most of his fries. "Never thought you'd be so happy to see me eating junk food, boss," Tony said with a knowing grin.

"I didn't say a word," Gibbs protested.

"No, but you've got that cat that ate the canary look," Tony responded.

Gibbs shrugged. "I won't deny worrying about you, Tony."

"I know you worry," Tony said, his eyes turning serious. "But you really don't have to. I'm going to take care of myself. I have a son now and he means the world to me. I plan on being there for him for a long, long time."

"Good to hear, DiNozzo," Gibbs said gruffly, happy to hear it, but not wanting the conversation to get too emotional, especially in the middle of a busy restaurant. For now, he was just grateful that Tony had been having a good day.

xxxxx

They paid the check then headed back outside to where the car was parked. Tony carefully removed Nathaniel from the baby sling and securely fastened him into his car seat. He backed out of the car then straightened up and reached for the chocolate milk shake resting on the car roof. He had ordered it before leaving the restaurant. "Hey, boss," he began with a grin. "I wonder..."

It seemingly came out of nowhere. There was no warning whatsoever. At first, Tony gave no visible reaction as the bullet slammed into his chest. Then, his eyes met Gibbs' in a moment of shocked realization before he stumbled and fell, crumpling down onto the hard concrete. He put his hand over the wound then lifted it and looked at it in wonder as it came away warm and red...covered in his blood...

People began to scream and Gibbs shouted at them to get on the ground as he threw himself down where Tony had fallen. He looked in the direction of where he thought the shot had come from, somewhere across the busy street, but saw nothing. Instinctively, he knew there would be no more shots. He knew the shooter had found his target.

"Nathaniel...Please, boss...get Nathaniel," Tony gasped. The infant could plainly be heard wailing pitifully inside the car.

Momentarily torn between getting the child and trying to aid his fallen friend, Gibbs crawled into the car and unbuckled the infant car seat. He then carried it out of the car and placed it onto the ground next to Tony.

"Boss?" Tony's voice cracked as he spoke. His face was alarmingly pale and he looked impossibly young and scared...very, very scared. He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned as a jolt of agonizing pain shot through him. His legs were moving restlessly, almost as if he was trying to escape what was happening. "This...this isn't good, is it?"

"Somebody call an ambulance!" Gibbs roared ferociously, just in case it hadn't been done already. "Don't try to talk. You're going to be fine, DiNozzo...you're going to be okay." He twisted out of his jacket and bundled it up then placed it firmly over the wound as Tony flinched against the sudden pressure which increased his pain even more. "I'm sorry, need to try to slow the bleeding. I'm sorry."

"Boss," Tony began breathlessly. "In...in the top drawer of the dresser in the bedroom, there's a letter. I...I don't know how legal it is, but I wrote...I wrote that I wanted you to have custody of Nathaniel if anything happened to me. Sh...should have made an earlier appointment."

Gibbs shook his head. "Don't talk like that, Tony. Dammit, you will not give up."

Tony grimaced as he began to cough and he was obviously struggling to breathe. "I...I know you'll take good care of him...Don't...don't let Eli get him..."

"You're going to be okay," Gibbs stated, wondering where the hell the ambulance was. This could not be happening. He would not lose him like this. "Fight...Damn it, Tony, fight this."

"Cold..." Tony was visibly shivering as he turned his gaze toward his son. "I love you, Nathaniel...So sorry I won't be there for you..." he murmured. "Be a good boy for your grandpa."

Gibbs eyes took on a look of desperation as he increased the pressure on Tony's chest. "Tony, please..."

"Lo...love you, dad..." Tony whispered, looking at Gibbs, his eyes glazed over with pain. "I...I'm really sorry..." No longer able to fight the pain and overwhelming urge to close his eyes, Tony slipped off into the beckoning darkness.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: So sorry about the wait for this update, busy with holiday stuff, etc., etc., and honestly, I've had a bit of a block going on with this chapter. As always, I'm certainly not a medical expert so I'd appreciate it if you can overlook any errors which might occur. Thanks for reading and for all your reviews which are very much appreciated. Thanks to the anonymous reviewers as well, who I was not able to respond to personally :)**

xxxxx

Gibbs was filled with dread as Tony's eyes closed and for a moment he feared the worst. But, the younger man's chest was still moving up and down under Gibbs' hands and he was breathing, albeit irregularly. "You will not give up on me...You will not give up on your son..."

Nathaniel was still crying. It was almost as if he somehow knew what had befallen his father. Gibbs wanted to pick him up, to comfort him, but he didn't dare take his hands away from Tony. He didn't want to release any more of the blood of which too much had already been spilled. After an agonizing wait, paramedics and police finally arrived. Gibbs flashed his badge and automatically answered questions as he tried to soothe Nathaniel, with his eyes constantly on Tony and the EMTs who were fiercely battling to save him.

"Shh...everything's going to be alright," Gibbs murmured as he gently rubbed the infant's back, trying to calm him down. "Your daddy is going to be fine." More than anything, he was trying to convince himself it was true, that Tony would survive this. He could see they were preparing to transport Tony and wanted to ride along, but decided it would likely be safer and less traumatic for Nathaniel if he drove in himself.

"How's he doing?" Gibbs asked the closest EMT.

"He's hanging in there, sir."

"Where are you taking him?"

"Washington Hospital Center. We're bringing him into the MedSTAR Center." With that, the EMTs transferred Tony into the ambulance and Gibbs hurriedly moved to secure Nathaniel back into his car seat so they could head to the hospital.

xxxxx

Gibbs sat in the waiting room with Nathaniel cuddled in his arms. The child had finally cried himself into an exhausted sleep. Gibbs knew he had phone calls he needed to make, but he had yet been able to force himself to do so. His whole body felt chilled and tense. He was so afraid that a doctor would come out and the news would be bad, that Tony would be lost to him forever and Nathaniel would be left an orphan. He wondered if a handwritten note from Tony would even be enough if the worst happened. Eli had known what he was doing, had wasted no time at all before making his move. He was a cold blooded murdering bastard. To do that to the father of his own grandchild was beyond Gibbs' comprehension. Whatever Eli's own personal feelings toward Tony had been, his daughter had loved him. By attempting to kill him, he might as well have spit on Ziva's grave.

Realizing he couldn't put it off any longer, Gibbs decided he needed to make some calls. He was directed to an area where cell phones were allowed and he dialed Ducky's number. "Hey Duck," he said when the other man answered his phone.

"Jethro. I didn't expect to hear from you. How is everything going? Did you change your mind about returning to work?"

Gibbs shook his head before remembering that Ducky couldn't see him. "No...I didn't change my mind...not that it did any good..."

"What is it, Jethro? Did something happen?"

Yeah...yeah, something happened. Tony was shot...in the chest. He's in surgery now...its not good..."

"Where are you?" Ducky asked.

"Washington Hospital Center. Duck? Do you mind telling McGee and Abby about what happened? I...I need to get back and I think its better not to tell Abby this over the phone."

"I will fill them in and I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks."

Gibbs really wanted to get back to the surgical waiting room, but he had one more call to make first.

"Its Gibbs," he growled into the phone.

"Agent Gibbs, what can I do for you?" Director Vance asked, wondering what Gibbs wanted this time.

"You can tell me where that murdering psychopath Eli David is staying so I can notify the local LEOs and they can arrest that son of a bitch."

"Arrest him for what, Gibbs?"

"For shooting DiNozzo. Is that a good enough reason, Leon?"

"He...how is he?" Vance asked, a note of concern evident in his voice.

"He's in surgery right now...he was hit in the chest..."

Vance was silent for a few moments. "When did this happen?"

"It was around 1:30."

Vance sighed heavily. "Then it couldn't have been Eli, Gibbs. He was here at headquarters for most of the day. He just left around 20 minutes ago."

"Bastard...he's trying to cover his tracks. He knew he'd be the first one we'd suspect."

"You don't have any proof, Gibbs. What about DiNozzo's son? Is he okay?"

"He's fine. I have him here with me."

"I'll look into it. If you need anything, anything at all...don't hesitate to call...Keep me posted on his condition."

"What I need is for that bastard to be behind bars where he belongs," Gibbs said. "I'll keep you posted."

He clicked off the phone and looked down at Nathaniel who was sleeping, snuggled against his chest. "Come on...let's go wait for word on your daddy."

xxxxx

"Ah, Timothy, Abigail. I was hoping I'd find the two of you together," Ducky said as he entered Abby's lab.

"I'm just waiting on some evidence Abby's working on," Tim replied. "Is there something you need?"

"No...no, its not that," Ducky replied, wishing he wasn't there for such a dire task. "I'm afraid I have some rather disturbing news though."

Abby shook her head adamantly. "No, no, no! No more bad news, Ducky. We've had too much of that lately. I don't want to hear anymore."

Tim put his arm around Abby supportively and gave Ducky an apprehensive look. "Something's happened?"

Ducky nodded grimly. "Yes, I'm afraid so...Jethro just called. Anthony has been shot."

Abby's eyes immediately filled with tears. "He's not...he...please tell me he's not.." she couldn't even say the word as she buried her face against Tim's chest.

"How bad?" Tim asked, obviously shaken by the news.

"He's in surgery," Ducky answered. "It was a chest wound. That's all I really know right now, I'm afraid."

"Tony can't die...he just can't," Abby said. "Hasn't he already been through enough? I can't bear the thought of that poor little baby with no parents. Its so unfair."

"You mustn't think like that, Abigail," Ducky said gently. "We must send all the good thoughts and prayers we can in Tony's direction and have faith that he will pull through this."

Abby nodded as she took a deep breath and did her best to compose herself. "You're right, Ducky. We can't count Tony out. He's tough and strong and we have to believe that he will come through this just fine.

"I wanted to let the two of you know. I'm going to leave now and keep Jethro company as we await word on Anthony's condition."

"Give Gibbs my love," Abby said as she threw her arms around Ducky. "Tell him I'll be there as soon as I finish up here."

"You'll call us if you hear anything before we get there?" Tim asked. Ducky nodded and headed off, leaving two very worried friends behind.

xxxxxx

"When I first met your daddy...he was really cocky, but he was an excellent detective. I could see that right away. He was really helpful with solving our case and I knew right then that I had to have him on my team..."

"Jethro?"

Gibbs looked up and gave Ducky a sad smile. "Hey, Duck."

"No word yet, I take it?" Ducky handed him a cup of coffee which Gibbs accepted gratefully.

"No," Gibbs said, shaking his head. "Nothing."

"I take that as a good sign," Ducky said, taking a seat beside Gibbs. "It means Anthony is still fighting hard."

"You think so?" Gibbs asked, giving Ducky an uncertain look. "With everything that's happened...I just don't know..."

"Have faith, Jethro. Although he's lost a lot, he still has a great deal to live for," he looked pointedly at Nathaniel, "and you know that he's not a quitter."

"I know he's not, but...some things aren't always in our control. You didn't see him," Gibbs said softly. "There was so much blood...too much...He thought he was dying..."

"The boy was understandably frightened...it doesn't mean anything."

"I hope you're right."

They sat in silence then, until Abby and McGee arrived. "Have you heard any news?" Abby asked as she dropped into the chair next to Gibbs and embraced him tightly.

"No..."

"He's going to be okay, Gibbs. If we keep believing that, it will be true."

"This isn't some fairy tale, Abby" Gibbs snapped. "Its not going to have a happy ending just because we want it to."

She moved away from him with a hurt look and he immediately regretted his words. "Look, Abs...I'm sorry. I..." At that moment, Nathaniel began squirming in Gibbs' arms and started to fret which soon became a full-fledged howling.

"Can I take him?" Abby asked Gibbs who was looking uncharacteristically overwhelmed at that moment. "Please?"

He nodded and handed the baby over to Abby who immediately began to coo to him. "Its okay, sweetie. Your Aunt Abby is right here and everything is going to be fine. I promise." Nathaniel continued to cry and Abby looked at Gibbs questioningly. "Is it time for him to eat?"

Gibbs thought for a few moments then nodded and began rummaging through the bag diaper bag before finding a pre-made bottle of formula and giving it to Abby.

"Do I need to warm it somehow?" she asked.

Gibbs shook his head. "It says you don't have to. I guess just see how he does. If he won't take it, I'll figure out some way to do it."

Abby nodded and began to feed the baby who eagerly began to suck down the formula. "I guess he's not too picky," Abby said with a smile. "You're such a good boy, aren't you?"

All eyes were on the baby and nobody even noticed the doctor who had entered the waiting room until he cleared his throat.

Gibbs turned anxiously towards the doctor, filled with a combination of hope and dread. "How is he, Dr. Barker?" he asked the doctor to whom he had only spoken to very briefly before Tony was brought into surgery.

"Well, he got through the surgery," Dr. Barker said. "The bullet bounced around and did a fair bit of damage. He has a punctured lung, two fractured ribs and it nicked his kidney. We put a chest tube in and repaired the damage to his kidney. The ribs will just have to heal on their own. He's going to be hurting for a while."

"But, he's going to be alright?" Gibbs asked.

"Barring any infection or complications, I'm cautiously optimistic. He was very lucky with the trajectory of the bullet. He's in recovery now."

"Can I see him?" Gibbs asked.

Dr. Barker nodded. "Yes, but only you. The rest of you will have to wait until he's transferred to the Med-Surgical Floor and then its two visitors at a time. I'm afraid the baby will have to remain in the waiting area."

"But, its Tony's son, doctor," Gibbs explained. "He's going to want to see him."

Dr, Barker hesitated. "Okay...I'll see if we can get him into a private room to allow visitation of an infant. No promises though. Of course, there's the Pavilion, but, I can't imagine that would be an option in this case. Its very expensive, four hundred dollars and up over the cost of a regular hospital room daily."

"What does that include?" Gibbs asked, intrigued.

"Its luxury accommodations, Agent Gibbs. High security, extra room and overnight accommodations for guests. Pretty much like getting cared for in a high class hotel."

"What does the security consist of?" Gibbs asked.

"All visitors are screened and the entire unit is locked down. Even telephone calls are screened."

"And I would be able to stay there?" Gibbs asked. "The baby too?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"I want that, Doc," Gibbs stated. "I'd appreciate it if you could make the arrangements."

Abby, McGee and Ducky exchanged looks. "Boss..." McGee began. "Did you not hear how expensive that is?"

"Tony doesn't even have a job," Abby said. "He can't afford that..."

"Tony's not going to have to worry about it," Gibbs said. "And we're not going to tell him how much it costs either." He could think of no better use for money he had squirreled away over the years than to use it in the protection of the man who was like a son to him and his child. He knew he had a reputation of being frugal, but truthfully, his needs were simple. He enjoyed building his boats and didn't need all the technological bells and whistles that other people coveted or fancy clothes and cars.

"Jethro...the boy is a trained investigator," Ducky said. "I dare say that he will figure it out."

"Cross that bridge when I come to it," Gibbs stated. "For now, my main priority is keeping him and Nathaniel safe and this will do just that. Plus, keeping Nathaniel with Tony will ease his mind considerably and he'll recover faster. Its a perfect solution." He turned to Abby. "Can you stay here for a little while, Abs? Take care of Nathaniel for me?"

She nodded. "Not a problem, Gibbs. You know I'd do anything for you and Tony."

"Thank you," he said, kissing her cheek. "McGee? I take it you're going to stay too?"

McGee nodded. "I'll watch over them, boss."

Gibbs smiled his thanks at the young man. "You see anything at all suspicious, Tim, I want you to let me know."

"Will do."

"He's lucky to have you all for friends," Gibbs said, giving them an appreciative look. He then turned back towards Dr. Barker. "All set now, Doc...Let's go see Tony..."


	16. Chapter 16

AN: Thanks as always to those of you reading and reviewing. Sorry about the delay, but I've been kind of experiencing a bit of writer's block lately – hopefully that has passed. As always, I claim no real medical knowledge and ask you to please overlook any errors that you may find. Also, I apologize in advance for the ending of this chapter. If you don't like cliffhangers, you know what to do ;)

xxxxx

Gibbs followed Dr. Barker into the Recovery Unit. "How is Mr. DiNozzo?" the doctor asked a pretty, brunette nurse who was standing behind the front desk, filling out some papers.

He woke up about five minutes ago," she looked up, giving her attention to the doctor while shooting a few curious glances at Gibbs. "His vitals were stable, but he was very groggy and fell right back to sleep."

"Thanks Sue." Dr. Barker then turned towards Gibbs. "Come on. I'll take you to him."

"Oh, you must be Nathaniel," Sue said, smiling at Gibbs. "He'll be very happy to see you. He was asking for you."

"Nathaniel is Tony's son," Gibbs explained, giving her a brief smile before quickly following the doctor to Tony's bedside. Once there, he breathed a sigh of relief. Tony appeared to be sleeping peacefully and although he was very pale, he looked a hell of a lot better than he had when he was lying on the sidewalk, blood gushing from the wound in his chest.

"How's he doing?" he asked the doctor as he took a seat next to Tony's bed.

"He's doing satisfactorily," Dr. Barker replied as he paged through Tony's chart, making a few notations as he did so. He then put the chart down and turned towards Gibbs. "So, you're sure about the Pavilion?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yes, I'm certain. The man who did this has a lot of high-powered connections and I wouldn't put it past him to try something right here in the hospital. I want Tony and his son protected."

"Well, they'll be protected there. We've had many high-ranking officials stay there and no one has ever gotten past the security who wasn't supposed to. No one will be able to get in who is not approved by you first."

"That's what I want, the sooner, the better."

"Okay. I'll go take care of it. Oh...just so you know, there will be an initial deposit required." The doctor looked apologetically at Gibbs, hating to bring it up under the circumstances.

"That won't be a problem...thanks."

"I'll be back after the admitting procedure is underway. You may want to think about who will be allowed to visit. If they're not on your list, they won't be getting in there."

"I'll do that," Gibbs responded. Dr. Barker left then and Gibbs turned his attention back to Tony. "You don't need to worry about anything now except getting well," he whispered, lightly brushing his hand back through Tony's hair. "You and Nathaniel will be safe. I'm going to make sure of it."

xxxxx

Abby was gently rocking Nathaniel who was finally sleeping again, momentarily content in the comfort of her arms. "He's so beautiful, isn't he?" she asked Tim who was seated next to her with his arm draped around her.

"He is," Tim agreed readily.

"But..." she sighed softly as she leaned her head back against his arm.

"But what?" Tim asked softly. Ducky had gone off to stretch his legs so the two of them were now alone with Nathaniel in the small waiting area.

"I just feel so bad about everything that has happened...to Tony...and to Ziva...we never even got to say goodbye to her."

"That couldn't be helped, Abs," Tim said, giving her a comforting hug. "It just happened too fast and we were too far away."

"I know that...but I still feel bad about it," Abby said. "And now Ziva's father tries to kill Tony, all because he wants to take this poor, little baby. And all of this is happening and Nathaniel is so sweet and innocent and has no idea of the turmoil that's surrounding his life. What if the next time, Eli succeeds?"

"He won't," Tim said, sounding more confident then he felt inside. Today had been a really close call. Tony had come much too close to losing his life. "We won't let him."

"You can't protect him forever," Abby said. "Gibbs was right with him today and look what happened..."

Tim nodded. It was true, but still, there had to be something they could do. "Try not to worry, Abby...for now, Tony will be safe and hopefully, we'll think of something before he's released to keep him that way."

xxxxx

Gibbs had been sitting by Tony's bedside for over an hour before he finally started to stir, mumbling softly before he opened his eyes and looked up at Gibbs in confusion. "Hey, boss..."

"Hey yourself," Gibbs said, more relieved than he would care to admit that the younger man was finally awake and talking again. "How are you feeling?"

"I..." Tony considered the question for a few long moments. "Tired, kinda fuzzy...wh..what happened?"

"You don't remember?" Gibbs asked.

"Uh..." he thought for a few seconds and then his eyes widened as he remembered. "I...I got shot? Nathaniel! he...is he okay? Where is he?" He looked around wildly, searching for his son and one of the monitors started beeping as he heart rate shot up dramatically.

"Calm down, Tony. He's fine. Abby and McGee are taking care of him. Take it easy," Gibbs said soothingly, alarmed at the sudden beeping and elevating numbers on the monitor.

Sue quickly made her way over to them. "Mr. DiNozzo? What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

"He's worried about his baby. He started to panic," Gibbs explained, relieved as the numbers slowly started dropping again.

"Its important that you try to keep as calm as you can," she said as she read the readings on the monitors and noted the findings on Tony's chart. "You just came out of major surgery. Getting yourself all upset isn't going to help you or your son."

Tony wanted to tell her that she had no idea how fucked up his life had become over the past couple of weeks and if she were him, she'd be plenty upset, but he kept silent and managed a nod, accompanied by a tight smile.

"Good," she said. "Now are you in pain? Can I get you anything?"

"I'm not really in pain, but I'm kind of cold," he admitted. Actually, he was freezing, but he didn't want to be a baby about it, especially not in front of Gibbs.

"I'll get you a heated blanket." The nurse smiled at him and returned a couple of minutes later with the blanket which she draped over him. The cloak of warmth which immediately cocooned him felt like heaven.

"Better?" Gibbs asked, giving Tony a worried look. He knew he was putting up a brave front, but could tell from the look in Tony's eyes that he was keeping a lot of what he was feeling bottled tightly up inside. He also knew now wasn't the time to be pushing him. He needed to recover physically and then they could go back to worrying about his emotional recovery.

"Yeah...I'm okay."

"Good...you should sleep now, Tony...Its the best thing for you."

"I...I want to see Nathaniel. When can I see him?" Tony asked, still valiantly trying to keep awake.

"He's not allowed in Recovery. As soon as you're transferred to your room, I'll bring him to see you."

"Thanks, boss," Tony said, barely able to keep his eyes open.

"Sleep now, Tony..." Gibbs lightly stroked Tony's head and he quickly drifted off again.

xxxxx

"Any word from Jethro?" Ducky asked as he walked back into the waiting room, carrying a tray of drinks. He passed a cup of coffee to Tim and a Caf-Pow to Abby.

"Thanks Ducky," Tim said as he accepted the coffee. "No, we haven't heard anything yet."

"Well, I'm sure Anthony is doing just fine," Ducky stated. "And how is this little one doing?" he asked, looking down at Nathaniel.

"He's such a sweetheart, Ducky," Abby gushed. "I just love him so much."

"He does seem to be quite a good natured little lad," Ducky agreed, "In spite of all the upheaval going on around him."

"He does have good genes," Tim commented.

"Yes, that he does, Timothy, that he does." Ducky sat down then, hopeful that this nightmare might somehow end soon, leaving Tony and his child to live their lives peacefully without the constant threat of Eli David looming over their heads.

xxxxx

"_Nathaniel..." It had been 18 years since he'd seen him, 18 years since Eli David had snatched his baby and disappeared without a trace, but he would know the boy anywhere._

"_That is no longer my name," the boy said haughtily as he entered Tony's apartment. "I go by Gideon now. It means a mighty warrior...something you would know nothing about." He looked around at Tony's apartment scornfully. "My grandfather is so right about you...you live the life of a materialistic fool, watching movies, and indulging in frivolity."_

"_Your grandfather is a bastard who stole you from me," Tony protested hotly, his eyes blazing. "He knows nothing."_

"_He did me a favor. Why would he leave me in the hands of a man who caused the death of my mother?"_

_Tony shook his head in denial. "That was an accident...I...I loved your mother." _

"_Love? You know nothing about love," the boy laughed. "If you did, you would have found me."_

"_I tried to find you...for years. You'll never know how hard I tried."_

"_Lies! All lies! My grandfather left you clues, he said a blind man could have followed, but you blundered them. You didn't deserve to have me. I am so glad he took me from you...that I was raised by a real man, not someone like you."_

"_Why have you decided to come here after all this time?" Tony asked softly. "There must be a part of you that was curious, that wanted to meet me, to get to know me..." _

"_Get to know you?" the boy scoffed. "I have not come to get to know you. I have come to kill you, just like you killed my mother." He pulled out a pistol then and aimed it at Tony's head, his grip on the weapon strong and steady. Tony stared into the boy's eyes...Ziva's eyes, but his eyes had no warmth...they were cold and emotionless...the eyes of a killer. "I'll see you in hell, father." _

_Tony watched and waited silently as the boy smiled evilly and pulled the trigger. _

_xxxxx _

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I should have found you..." Tony called out, his head was moving back and forth fitfully on the pillow.

Gibbs, who had fallen into a light doze woke up instantly. "Tony, Tony, wake up..." He felt the younger man's forehead and knew instantly that he had a fever. "I need some help over here," he called out.

Sue hurried over to them. "What is it?" she asked.

"He's burning up," Gibbs stated, feeling helpless as he watched Tony still caught up in the demons in his mind who were consuming him.

"I'll call Dr. Barker," Sue said, not even trying to hide her concern as she rushed off to do so.

"Tony..come on, wake up." Gibbs gently rubbed Tony's shoulder, trying to bring him back to reality. "Come on, Tony."

"Boss?" Tony's eyes were glazed with fever as he opened them and looked in Gibbs' direction, but didn't seem to really see him. "Nathaniel came, boss...he found me...he found me after all these years, boss, but he hates me...he hates me, boss. He shot me. My own boy killed me. Nathaniel killed me."

God... Gibbs took Tony's hand and murmured soothingly to him, not even knowing if Tony was at all aware of his presence, but needing to do something. Just when he had thought things were going to be okay, at least for the time being, everything was going to hell again. Why was Tony having to go through all of this? When would this horror end and would Tony even be left standing when and if it finally did?


	17. Chapter 17

AN: Here's the next chapter (If any of you are still reading after the long delay). No real excuses except that my head wasn't too into this story and real life sometimes gets in the way. I'll keep plugging along though. As always, thanks so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.

xxxxx

"Agent Gibbs, you're going to have to leave," Dr. Barker said, returning to Tony's bedside in the recovery unit, accompanied by another doctor who was unfamiliar to Gibbs.

"No. Why do I have to go?" Gibbs protested, shaking his head. "I'll keep out of your way."

"Please. I'll come out to speak with you soon. Its best that you go."

Sue put her hand on Gibbs' arm and gently ushered him away. Gibbs reluctantly let her do so, his imagination already supplying various horrible possibilities for why the younger man was suddenly so ill.

Abby and McGee both had their attention on Nathaniel, thus it was Ducky who first noticed Gibbs when he returned to the waiting area. Immediately, he knew something was wrong. "Jethro...what is it?"

"Tony's running a fever...they threw me out of there..."

"Well...that's not uncommon, Jethro," Ducky said quickly, trying to reassure him.

Gibbs just shook his head as he sat down and looked at Nathaniel who appeared on the verge of falling asleep. "How's he doing?" he asked.

"He's good, Gibbs," Abby said, smiling. "He's such a little sweetie pie."

Gibbs continued to stare at the child. It wasn't fair that Nathaniel was stuck in a hospital waiting room for all this time, but he didn't know what else to do. Gibbs didn't want to leave Tony, nor could he allow McGee and Abby to take the baby out of the hospital. Based on what he was sure Eli had done to Tony, he did not want to put them in harm's way.

"Jethro? Are you alright?" Ducky asked, looking at the other man with no small amount of concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine, Duck..I'm not the one burning up in there with a bullet wound in my chest."

"Its not your fault, boss," McGee said, interjecting himself into the conversation.

"Isn't it?" Gibbs asked, almost to himself.

"No," Abby said quickly as she got up and sat in the chair next to Gibbs then threw her arms around him. "You need to stop this right now. Tony would not want you to be blaming yourself."

Gibbs did not respond. Instead, his mind was going back over the events of the day, second guessing that he hadn't arranged for more protection, done more to keep them safe. He had just never really expected that Eli would go so far. He'd underestimated him badly and this was the result.

"Abigail and Timothy are quite right," Ducky said. "In no way are you to blame for this."

"I don't really want to talk about it," Gibbs replied. As far as he was concerned, the topic was closed. Gibbs' tone left no room for argument and the others decided not to push it, at that point. The discussion came to a standstill and not another word was spoken until Dr. Barker made his way back into the waiting area.

"How is he?" Gibbs asked, his blue eyes intense and anxious as he met the doctor's gaze.

"He's doing better," Dr. Barker assured Gibbs. "We've gotten his temperature down and he's sleeping peacefully right now.

Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief at the welcome news and a faint smile touched his lips. "Do you know what caused his temperature to spike?" he asked.

"I believe it was just his body's response to the trauma and subsequent surgery. He's gone through a lot today, but he's definitely doing better now."

"Well, that's good news," Gibbs said "Will he be able to be transferred to the Pavilion now?"

Dr. Barker nodded. "Yes, I have the pre-admission forms for the Unit right here." He handed a packet of papers to Gibbs. "If you can fill these out, we'll get this underway. I can also have a crib brought in for the baby, if you'd like."

"That would be great," Gibbs said with a nod. "Thank you."

"Not a problem, Agent Gibbs," the doctor said with a smile. "I'm glad that things are going better now."

"So am I, Doc," Gibbs replied. "Believe me...so am I."

xxxxx

Gibbs completed all the paperwork necessary for transferring Tony to the Pavilion and made a sizable down payment for the suite. After that, things went relatively quickly. Due to the sedating effects of the pain medications Tony had been given, he remained fast asleep for the entirety of the transfer.

"This place is really something, boss," McGee commented as he looked around Tony's new accommodations. "It doesn't even seem like its a hospital room, more like a fancy hotel." They were in the living room portion of the suite and were keeping their voices low so as not to awaken Tony, who Ducky was currently sitting with.

"Did you see there's a huge flat-screen t.v. built into the wall, right across from Tony's bed," Abby said excitedly. "Tony's going to love that."

"Shh." Gibbs glanced pointedly in Tony's direction.

"Sorry," Abby said, lowering her voice considerably.

"The security is really good. That's the most important thing," Gibbs stated. The luxurious touches in the room were, of course, very nice, but the most important thing to him was that Tony and Nathaniel remained safe. He'd been impressed with the level of security needed to get into the locked unit and was reasonably sure that Eli would not be able to penetrate it. In any case, there was plenty of room for him to stay here, along with another person..

Just then, Tony started to stir and opened his eyes, looking around the room drowsily. "Welcome back, Anthony," Ducky said, giving the younger man a smile. "Its good to see you with your eyes open again.

"Hey Ducky," Tony said. "Where am I?"

"You're still in the hospital, Dinozzo," Gibbs said, coming up to Tony.

"Hey, boss. This is the hospital? I've never been in a hospital room like this before. He stared in disbelief at the t.v. screen on the wall. "What is this? Hospitals of the rich and famous?"

"Its just a special unit, Tony. You're here because its more secure and Nathaniel can stay here, as well."

Tony visibly brightened at the mention of his son. "He's here?" he asked. "Can I see him?"

"He's asleep right now, Tony. I'll bring him to you as soon as he wakes up," Abby said as she made her way to his bedside and kissed his cheek. "You really scared us. I'm so glad you're going to be okay.".

"Kind of scared myself a little bit, too, Abs," Tony said with a faint smile then greeted McGee who had come up behind Abby. "McGoo!"

"Hi, Tony. Its good to see you looking better."

"Thanks," Tony said, then turned his attention back to Gibbs. "So, seriously boss. What's with this place?" Now that he was more awake and really looking over the room he knew it had to be very, very costly. There was art on the walls, plush carpeting, and expensive-appearing furniture. Even his hospital bed had a fancy wooden headboard and footboard made of rich, polished wood.

"I told you.. You're here for security reasons."

"This place must cost a fortune though, boss. Don't think my insurance will cover it."

"Don't worry about it. It'll be fine."

"Why?" Tony asked, looking at Gibbs suspiciously. "Why shouldn't I worry about it?" He glanced at Abby and McGee who had just exchanged a look. "Someone better tell me what's going on."

"Can't you just go with it, Tony?" Gibbs asked with a sigh. He really hadn't thought Tony would figure things out so quickly. He'd expected the meds to make him more drowsy and not so observant. It definitely hadn't worked out that way though. "Its certainly not anything to work yourself up over."

"You're paying for this, aren't you," Tony said and it was definitely more of a statement than a question.

"Its the best way to keep Nathaniel safe," Gibbs replied. "I'm doing this for my grandson...Its what I want to do for him. You can't deny me that"

Tony wanted to debate the issue longer, but he was already starting to fade again. "We'll talk about it later," he said, allowing his eyes to close, his voice fading off into a soft murmur. "I'll pay you back..."

"You don't have to worry about that," Gibbs whispered as he gently tousled Tony's hair. "Its my gift to you and your son. Nothing is more important to me right now than keeping the two of you safe."

"Could...couldn't ask for a better dad," Tony said and then he was asleep.

"Aww...Gibbs, the two of you are so cute together," Abby gushed. "Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

"Well, warm and fuzzy is the last thing I'm feeling right now," Gibbs stated as he turned towards McGee. "I talked to Vance a little while ago. He's agreed to put the rest of our team on cold cases for the time being and you can stay here with me on protection detail."

"Got it, boss," McGee replied.

Gibbs then turned his attention to Ducky and Abby. "I know the two of you would like to stay too..."

"But Anthony doesn't need a crowd," Ducky finished for him. "I understand perfectly, Jethro."

"Thanks, Duck," he said as he turned towards Abby who he knew wouldn't be convinced quite as easily.

"I'll be as quiet as a mouse, Gibbs," Abby spoke, before he uttered a word. "Besides, you need me to take care of Nathaniel."

"I can take care of him, Abs," Gibbs said gently. "And you can come back tomorrow. Tony needs to rest right now. I know you have the best of intentions, but its best if you go home and get a good night's sleep. There really isn't even anywhere for you to sleep here."

"I can sleep with McGee on the sofa bed," she protested quickly. McGee's cheeks turned pink at her words and Gibbs shook his head, barely managing to hold back a smile. "You know they'll bring in a cot if we ask them for one or I can just sleep on the floor. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Abigail, Jethro doesn't need you making this more difficult for him," Ducky broke into their mini dispute. "He does know what's best in this situation."

She was going to continue to push, but she could see by the stubborn set to Gibbs' chin and the look in his eyes that he wouldn't be giving in this time. "Alright. I'll go, but I'm coming back tomorrow."

Gibbs nodded. "I already told you that was fine."

She went over to Tony then and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, Tony. Feel better." She then turned to Ducky. "I'm ready."

"If you need anything at all, Jethro, don't hesitate to call."

"Thanks, Duck."

"Bye, Gibbs," Abby said as she reached for him and pulled him in for a hug. "Take good care of them."

"You know I will, Abs," he said quietly. She nodded as she pulled away, then went to McGee to hug him goodbye as well. Then, she and Ducky left the suite.

xxxxx

"So...where do you want me, boss?" McGee asked after Abby and Ducky were gone. "Do you want me outside the room?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No, I just need you to stay in here with us. We'll sleep in shifts. I just want to make sure there's always someone awake and alert, just in case."

McGee nodded and the two men were silent for a few minutes before he spoke again. "Do you need anything, boss?" he asked. "I could go get you coffee or something to eat."

Gibbs thought for a few moments then slowly nodded. "Yeah, if you're sure you don't mind. Coffee would be good."

"What about food?"

"No, that's okay. We had a big lunch and I'm not really all that hungry right now."

"Should I get anything for Tony?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No, better not. I'm not sure if he has any restrictions. I can't imagine he'll be hungry when he wakes up anyway. He hasn't had much of an appetite lately."

"Okay, I'll be back soon."

McGee headed out and Gibbs took a seat on the sofa. As tired as he was though, he didn't allow himself to relax. No matter how secure the suite appeared to be, he wasn't about to let his guard down again after what had happened. The safety of Tony and Nathaniel depended on him.


	18. Chapter 18

AN: Thanks, as always, to all of you who are reading and reviewing. Your support is always appreciated :)

Cassi –I couldn't reply to you in person, but I really appreciate your very nice review. Thanks so much :) Thanks to 1fan as well :)

xxxxx

Tony had been awake for a while, but he hadn't let it be known to Gibbs and McGee who were quietly chatting in the living room portion of the suite. He was in a fair amount of pain, but was trying to suck it up and do the best he could without complaining. He hated feeling all drugged out on heavy duty pain meds. They would also leave him much too vulnerable, especially now. His thoughts were totally consumed by what had happened and the very real threat that Eli David now posed to himself and Nathaniel. There was no doubt at all in his mind that the man was behind the shooting, even if he hadn't pulled the trigger himself. He knew that proving it was a whole other matter though. The man would have known how to cover his tracks. He was totally at a loss as to how to handle this situation. All he knew was that he didn't want his life to be spent constantly looking over his shoulder. It was no way to live and definitely no way for his son to live.

"What are you thinking about, DiNozzo?" The sudden sound of Gibbs' voice broke through Tony's thoughts, startling him slightly.

"Nothing, boss...I didn't hear you come over here..."

"You were pretty deep in thought," Gibbs commented, studying the younger man closely. "You want to talk about it?"

Tony shook his head. "No...its nothing..."

It doesn't look like nothing to me, Tony. How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine...How's Nathaniel?" Tony asked, changing the subject.

"He's doing well," Gibbs replied, realizing that Tony wasn't going to discuss whatever was troubling him, at least not yet. "He just had a bottle a little while ago. The nurses have been really accommodating, bringing formula and diapers. I think its just an excuse for them to see him though. Your son is quite the little charmer."

"That's nice," Tony said distractedly, not really paying much attention to what Gibbs was saying.

"Are you hungry?" Gibbs asked.

Tony forced himself to focus on Gibbs. "No...I don't really feel like eating," he answered quietly.

"How about some water?"

Tony could see how concerned the other man was about him so he nodded, not because he was particularly thirsty, but rather to help ease Gibbs' mind a bit. Gibbs poured some water from a pitcher into a plastic cup and put a straw in it, then held it to Tony's lips. Tony took a couple of small sips and pulled away. "Thanks, boss."

"You're welcome."

Just then, Nathaniel made his presence known as he started to whimper. "I'll get him for you," Gibbs told Tony who gave him a grateful smile.

Gibbs walked over to the crib and gently lifted Nathaniel from the crib. He then went back to Tony's bedside and carefully handed over the infant. "You sure you're okay to hold him?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Tony replied as he smiled at his son. "Hey, little guy. I've missed you. Did you miss me too?" The child seemed content, snuggled in his father's arms and Tony turned his eyes back towards Gibbs. "I hate all this..."

"I know you do...but we'll figure it out. Right now, you just need to concentrate on getting better. Let me take care of the rest."

Tony sighed wearily and his eyes took on a far away look. "I think about Ziva and the fact that Eli is her father...and Nathaniel's grandfather...and I know the thoughts I'm having are very, very wrong..."

"What are you thinking?" Gibbs asked, his eyes meeting Tony's.

"That I'm not going to spend my life looking over my shoulder for Eli," Tony stated softly, his expression troubled yet determined.

Gibbs was guarded as he looked back at Tony. "What exactly are you saying?" he asked quietly.

"I think you know..."

Gibbs nodded. He did know. But he also knew that right now, Tony was in no condition either physically or mentally to be thinking these kinds of thoughts. "You're just beginning to recover, DiNozzo...You have time to think about things."

"Its all I've been doing is thinking about it," Tony said. "If it was just me he was after, it would be different, but he's a huge threat to Nathaniel. I won't let him take my son, boss. I just won't. He's the one who made this move, trying to kill me. What am I supposed to do? Just wait for him to finish the job?" He'd never in his life thought about what he was now seriously considering. Having a child changed everything though. He would do everything in his power to protect his son...no matter what the cost.

"You know better than that," Gibbs growled, still keeping his voice low. He didn't want McGee to overhear what they were discussing. "But you can't do anything about it at the moment. Right now, you and Nathaniel are safe. The security here is top notch and you have us watching your six as well. You need to just worry about recovering."

"Nothing's one hundred percent safe, boss...You know that better than anyone. Hell, Eli could pay a staff member to come in here and polish me off."

"I'm not going to let that happen," Gibbs said. He hated that Tony had to be worrying about this. Hated the predicament the younger man found himself in, but he also knew he didn't want him to do anything he would end up regretting. If Eli David was to be dealt with, Gibbs would find a way to handle it himself. He certainly didn't want to risk Tony going to prison. "In any case, its a moot point right now. Physically, you're not able to take on Eli David. No matter how much you may want to..."

Tony remained silent as he let Gibbs' words sink in. Even though he didn't want to admit it, he knew that Gibbs was right. There wasn't anything he could do about Eli yet, not while he was still recuperating. Hell, he could barely hold his tiny son without pain. Their conversation was effectively thwarted when McGee came over to Tony's bedside. "Sorry to interrupt, but I was just wondering if either of you needed anything?"

"No...thanks anyway, Probie..." Tony suddenly found himself inexplicably sad. McGee wasn't his probie any more. McGee was Senior Field Agent and he...he was basically nothing now. Whether it was from his injuries or just everything that had happened catching up with him, Tony could feel tears beginning to well up in his eyes. Mortified and trying hard to control his emotions, Tony held the baby out towards Gibbs. "Cou...could you take him for me, boss? Please?" Tony asked, his voice breaking. "I...I'm just really tired all of a sudden..."

"Yeah, of course...I've got him." Gibbs took the now sleeping child from Tony and headed towards the crib, signaling McGee with his eyes to follow him. He knew Tony needed a little time to himself.

"Sorry, boss..." McGee whispered apologetically. "I guess I shouldn't have interrupted the two of you. I didn't mean to get him all upset."

"Its not you, McGee, its just this whole damn situation." Gibbs managed to keep his voice down in spite of his feelings. He wished Eli David was there right now so he could wring the bastard's neck and be done with it. He had no idea why the fates had turned against Tony so drastically. All he wanted was to give the younger man his life back and allow him to raise his boy healthily and happily, without having to be constantly on guard. Somehow, he was going to find a way for that to happen.

xxxxx

"Your blood pressure is running rather high," Dr. Barker commented as he flipped through the pages of Tony's chart. "Do you usually have problems with that?"

"No...not usually," Tony answered. "Not without a reason anyway."

"Its been quite some time since you've had any pain medication. You're well overdue. I'll have the nurse bring you something."

"I don't need anything," Tony stated, shaking his head.

Dr. Barker raised an eyebrow and looked at Tony quizzically. "Are you trying to tell me you're not in pain?"

"Its nothing I can't handle..."

"Your blood pressure readings tell me a different story. I'm not sure why you're against taking it, but you're not helping yourself."

"I just don't need anything, alright?" Tony's voice rose sharply.

"If you're concerned about addiction, I can assure you..."

"That's not it," Tony interrupted angrily. "I've never had any kind of a problem with drugs, Doc. I'm a Federal agent, for crying out loud." At least he had been an agent, Now, he was an unemployed ex-agent.

"I certainly wasn't implying that you had a drug problem. Its just that some people worry about such things."

"Not me...I just don't need it," Tony insisted stubbornly.

The doctor shrugged and looked at Gibbs who had been listening in the background. "Well, I can't force you to take it. However, I do think it would be in your best interest to do so." Tony did not reply. He just stared stonily ahead as Dr. Barker shook his head. "Just let the nurses know if you change your mind." He then set out to leave the room, speaking quietly to Gibbs as he passed him. "See if you can get him to reconsider..."

"Does he think I'm deaf or something?" Tony asked after the doctor had left the room.

"What's this about, Tony?" Gibbs asked softly.

"Its not about anything," Tony snapped. "Why does everything have to be about something?" He shifted his position and tried to cover up the pain he felt with the movement, but failed miserably. God, he felt like crap. "I just don't need their pain medicine, okay?"

"Yeah...I can see that."

Tony wrapped his arms around his chest and tried very hard not to display all that he was feeling inside. His nerves were on edge and his emotions were starting to spiral out of his control. Too much had happened and he was starting to feel like he just couldn't cope with any of it. Ziva was dead. He was now a single father with no job and no place to live who had a madman trying to kill him and steal his child. "I can't...I can't...I can't do this..." he murmured as tears started to trail down his cheeks. "All of this is because I took that damn job. I...I...never should have taken it, boss. I wish...I wish I never had. If I hadn't, Ziva would still be here. I'd still have my job here, my apartment, my car... I just...I don't know what to do anymore. What the hell am I going to do?" He curled onto his side then, turning away from Gibbs and began to sob into his pillow, unable to hold his grief in any longer. Gibbs didn't say anything, knowing that there really wasn't anything he could say that would help. Instead, he just sat with Tony, gently rubbing his back until his sobs finally began to subside and his breathing evened out, letting Gibbs know he had fallen asleep. He sat with him for a little while longer then, just listening to the sound of his breathing. Finally, he got to his feet and crossed the room to where McGee was sitting on the sofa, his head bent as he studiously studied the carpet underneath his feet.

"What's on your mind, McGee?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"Nothing, boss," he replied, keeping his head down.

"Not you too," Gibbs sighed as he took a seat next to his young agent. "Can't anyone just say what they're thinking?"

"I'm not thinking anything..." McGee turned his head to glance at Gibbs then quickly turned away again.

"McGee..."

"Alright," McGee said, looking forlorn, his voice barely above a whisper. "I can't help feeling bad, boss...I took Tony's job..."

Gibbs shook his head as he wearily massaged his temples. He could definitely feel the beginning of a headache. "You earned that job, Tim...Tony gave it up. Its not like you snatched it out from under him."

"Even so, boss..."

"No. You're not going to do this," Gibbs took care to speak very quietly, not wanting to be overheard if Tony happened to awaken. "What happened has nothing to do with you. Tony moved on and you moved up. You deserved the promotion. Its your job, now. You shouldn't feel bad. Trust me when I say DiNozzo wouldn't want that either."

McGee shook his head, obviously conflicted. "I just...I can't help it. He's just getting slammed from every which way...it isn't fair."

"No it isn't fair," Gibbs agreed. "He's going to bounce back though. It may take some time, but it will happen."

"Still...if he at least had his job..."

"McGee, just stop it," Gibbs said, glaring at him. "What are you going to do? Quit and give the job back to DiNozzo? You know damn well he wouldn't take it. He would never want it...not like that."

McGee looked unconvinced. "I just wish there was more I could do for him..."

"You're already doing it...You're here for him. You're being his friend and you're helping me to keep him and his son safe."

"It just doesn't seem like enough though."

"Trust me, it is. Tony can't work right now anyway. There's a lot for him to sort out before he can even think about working. Its actually good that he broke down. He needs to let his feelings out. Keeping everything bottled up won't help him."

"Yeah...I guess..."

"It'll all work out." Gibbs said, trying to convince himself as well as McGee. He patted McGee's shoulder and got to his feet. "Why don't you try to get some sleep. We can't both stay awake all night..."

"I'm not really tired, boss...I'm sure I've been getting more rest than you have these days. Why don't you sleep first? I'll wake you in a few hours."

Gibbs considered McGee's offer. His natural impulse was to refuse, but after a few moments of thought, he slowly nodded. His headache was likely only going to worsen unless he managed to get some rest. "Okay...Are you going to be okay with Nathaniel?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," McGee said with a smile. "Besides, I haven't really spent any time alone with him. Its about time that I did."

"Okay...thanks..." Gibbs briefly thought about setting up the sofa bed, but decided it would be easier to just stretch out on the sofa instead. McGee checked on Nathaniel, who was sleeping peacefully, then settled himself into the comfortable, cushioned chair by Tony's bed, and prepared himself to keep watch over Tony and his son.


	19. Chapter 19

AN: Thanks for your nice reviews and support. I appreciate it so much. As with all the medical references in this story, I'm definitely not an expert, so please keep that in mind for any errors you may find.

AZGirl – Here's the McGee & Nathaniel scene you requested – hope you like it. :)

Enjoy the chapter.

xxxxx

McGee didn't get to have his anticipated one-on-one bonding time with Nathaniel as the child's sleeping time ended up coinciding with the time that Gibbs was asleep, which was only for a couple of hours.

"Get some sleep, McGee," Gibbs ordered. While he was not exactly refreshed, the nap had taken the edge off Gibbs' weariness and his headache was now gone. McGee switched places with Gibbs and no sooner had they done so when Nathaniel started to fuss.

"I can take care of him if you'd like, boss," McGee called out from the sofa as Gibbs shook his head.

"That's okay. I've got him." Gibbs relished the time he spent with Nathaniel and inwardly felt like he truly was the child's grandfather. He buzzed for a nurse who was more than happy to bring some formula. Then,Gibbs spent some quality time quietly talking with the baby as he fed him. "When you're older, I 'll take you out sailing. Your daddy can come too. We'll have a really good time. You're going to love it." It had been so long since he had had a child in his life. He had no intention of letting Eli mess that up. "You don't need to worry about a thing, Nathaniel," Gibbs said softly as he changed the baby's diaper. "I'm going to take really good care of you and your daddy."

After Nathaniel had been fed, burped and changed, Gibbs put the sleepy child back into his crib and watched as he quickly nodded off. "That's a good boy," Gibbs whispered. He glanced over at McGee who was sleeping soundly on the couch and then walked across the room to Tony's bedside. Tony was asleep, but it definitely was not a peaceful sleep. He was moving about restlessly beneath the covers and every so often would murmur incoherently. Gibbs gently felt Tony's forehead and found it to be warm, not alarmingly so, but warm nonetheless.

"Hurts," Tony mumbled, still asleep, as he twisted away from Gibbs.

"What hurts, Tony?" Gibbs questioned softly, but he didn't receive an answer. "Tony?"

"Hmm?" Tony was obviously still not awake.

"DiNozzo! What hurts?" Gibbs thumped Tony's head very lightly, but it still had the desired effect as Tony's eyes shot open.

"Boss?"

"What hurts, Tony?" Gibbs asked again, beginning to get frustrated that he was unable to get an answer to his question.

"I..." Tony looked momentarily confused before he replied. "My back."

"Your back hurts?" Gibbs asked, puzzled. He had been sure Tony was going to complain about his chest.

"Back," Tony nodded agreeably as he allowed his eyes to close again.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs said sharply as he shook Tony's shoulder to rouse him. "Come on, stay with me here."

"What?" Tony asked grumpily. At least he seemed to be a little bit more alert now.

"Where does your back hurt?"

"It doesn't hurt," Tony said, evasively shifting his gaze away from Gibbs.

"You just said it did hurt."

Tony shook his head. "I...I guess I was just dreaming or something, boss."

"Cut the crap, DiNozzo. Tell me the truth. Do you really want to be messing around with your health right now?" Gibbs asked, his eyes boring into Tony's intently.

Tony stared back at Gibbs for a long moment then lifted his hand and placed it on his right side above his waist. "Lower back," he finally admitted. "Feel kind of nauseous too."

"Okay," Gibbs said calmly as he reached for the button to call for a nurse. "I'm going to see if Dr. Barker can come and take a look at you, just to make sure everything's okay."

"Whatever you say," Tony said, his eyelids drooping.

"Just rest until the doctor gets here." Gibbs' voice was calm, belying the anxiety that was causing his gut to churn unrelentingly. He watched as Tony's eyes closed and he took note of the paleness of his skin and the thin sheen of perspiration covering his face. He was beginning to recall what the doctor had said when Tony first came out of surgery. The bullet had caused damage to his kidney which had been surgically repaired. Gibbs couldn't help but think this pain was somehow related to that. He pushed aside a blanket which was covering the catheter bag and then he saw that the urine contained in the bag was abnormally red. Blood. Gibbs hoped that maybe it was just a normal occurrence after the procedure to repair the kidney, but with the sudden increased pain Tony was feeling, he was pretty sure that wasn't the case.

xxxxx

"I'm going to have you sent down so we can get some pictures of your kidney and see just what we're looking at," Dr. Barker said to Tony who nodded drowsily. He knew he should be worried but he was just so tired.

"I'm going to go down with him," Gibbs stated, his tone indicating that he wasn't about to take no for an answer.

Dr. Barker nodded. "That's fine, Agent Gibbs. I'll go put the orders through for the tests and send someone up to transport him."

Dr. Barker left the room and Gibbs patted Tony's shoulder reassuringly. "I'll be right back." He then headed over to where McGee had crashed on the sofa. "McGee!" Gibbs called loudly, causing the young agent to immediately awaken and sit up.

"I'm awake, boss," McGee stated as he rubbed his eyes.

"Listen, McGee...they need to run some tests on Tony. I'm going to go along with him, just in case. Will you be okay here with Nathaniel?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," McGee replied, not missing the lines of tension in Gibbs' face. "Did something happen?"

"I think something's wrong with Tony's kidney...He's having a lot of pain and there's blood in his urine."

"Damn..." Tim shook his head in concern. "You don't think he's going to lose it?"

Gibbs stared back at McGee, his complexion blanching slightly. He wanted to steadfastly deny the possibility of that happening, but the same concern was eating away at his gut. "I don't know... I hope not..."

McGee was silent for a long moment, but then went on, seeing how worried Gibbs was. "Even...even if he does lose it...Tony will get through this, boss. You know how strong he is."

"Yeah..." Gibbs nodded and tried to look positive, but his heart wasn't in it. Tony seemed to be under a continuous onslaught of crap these days and was starting to crack under the pressure. There was only so much that people could take. Tony didn't need anything else to deal with. He went back across the room and took his place by Tony's bedside. The younger man appeared to be asleep which Gibbs knew was the best thing for him right now. The less he comprehended about what was going on, the better off he was. A few minutes later, a young man arrived to bring Tony for his tests. "I'll let you know what's going on," Gibbs said to McGee and then they were gone.

xxxxx

After Gibbs and Tony had left, McGee did a little bit of pacing, periodically pausing to peek into Nathaniel's crib. The child was still sleeping soundly. He considered calling Abby and Ducky to inform them about what was going on, but it was still very early in the morning. Plus, it would probably make more sense to call when they actually knew something. Calling them now would only cause worry, perhaps needlessly. He picked up the remote control to the big screen television set and began scanning through the channels. Nothing really caught his interest though and he ended up shutting it off. He started thinking about Tony's unemployed status again and couldn't help the feelings of guilt he was having. Even though he knew everything Gibbs had said was true and intellectually he knew Tony not having a job wasn't really his fault, he still felt pretty bad about all that Tony was going through.

xxxxx

"Tony, Agent Gibbs, this is Dr. Galvin. He's the head of nephrology here," Dr. Barker said, making the introduction.

"Head of nephrology," Tony repeated quietly, his eyes wary. "That sounds kind of ominous."

"I just wanted to get an expert opinion," Dr. Barker said.

"Come on, Tony. That's a good thing," Gibbs said, doing his best to calm Tony's frazzled nerves.

"Its nice to meet both of you," the doctor said, shaking Tony's and Gibbs' hands in turn. I took a look at your film, and unfortunately, some of the repairs done on your kidney have opened up again," Dr. Galvin explained. "There also appears to be more damage than was first seen."

"So am I going to lose it?" Tony asked, automatically thinking the worst. He looked nervous and wasn't making any real effort to hide it. "Am I going to have to go on dialysis?"

"Slow down, slow down, Tony," Dr. Galvin said. "Nobody said anything about you losing your kidney. In any case, even if you did lose it, your other kidney is functioning perfectly well and would be able to compensate. However, you certainly don't need to be thinking about these kinds of things right now. I'd like to go in and try to repair the damage. Hopefully, we'll be able to save your kidney."

"More surgery?" Tony asked, not looking all that happy about it.

Dr. Galvin nodded. "Yes, and time is definitely a factor. The sooner I get this done, the higher the chance of a favorable outcome."

Tony gave a resigned sigh as he glanced at Gibbs who gave him a reassuring look. "So, how soon are you talking exactly?" Tony questioned as he looked back at the doctor.

"No time like the present," the doctor replied. "If you don't have any questions, I'll get you the consent forms to sign and we'll be good to go."

Still looking somewhat unsure, Tony thought about it for a few moments and then nodded slowly, realizing he didn't really have a choice. "Okay...might as well get it over with, I guess..."

xxxxx

McGee's cell phone rang loudly and the noise roused Nathaniel who started to cry. "Hey, Boss," McGee said into the phone. "What's going on?"

"Tony's going into surgery again," Gibbs informed his young agent.

"He needs more surgery? That doesn't sound good." McGee said as he nervously nibbled on his lip.

"The doctor seems optimistic. They just need to do more repair work on his kidney. I'm hoping it will only be a couple of hours so I was just going to wait down here until he's in Recovery. Are you okay with the baby or do you want me to come back for a while?"

"I'm good, boss. You stay with Tony...its not a problem..."

"Is that Nathaniel crying?" Gibbs asked, a hint of concern in his voice. "He hasn't been giving you a hard time, has he?"

McGee shook his head. "No, its fine. I just had my cell ringer set pretty loud and the phone woke him up. I'd better go and calm him down."

"Okay. Thanks, McGee. I'll see you a little bit later." Gibbs clicked off his end of the phone and McGee went to the crib and gingerly lifted the crying infant into his arms.

"Hey, Nathaniel. Don't cry. Everything's going to be okay," McGee spoke softly to the red-faced child who only sobbed harder. "Come on, now. Your daddy and your grandpa will be back really soon. I'm your Uncle Tim and I'll be taking care of you until they do."

He started to rock the inconsolable infant in his arms, but it didn't seem to be helping at all. "Maybe you need your diaper changed," McGee mumbled under his breath. He brought Nathaniel over to the bed and laid him down on it then tried to get him out of his sleeper. He unsnapped all the tiny snaps and finally managed to get the diaper opened only to find it relatively dry. "Guess that's not your problem," he said with a small sigh of frustration. He removed the diaper and had just picked up a new one when he felt a stream of wetness hit the front of his shirt. "Oh no, Nathaniel...that wasn't very nice. Did your daddy tell you to do that to me?" He had a sudden, irrational thought that Nathaniel had purposefully taken aim at him because he had stolen Tony's job. He was really losing it. He finished changing the diaper and then used some baby wipes to dab at the stain on his shirt. "Maybe you're hungry again?" It hadn't been all that long since Gibbs had fed him, but he couldn't think of anything else to try.

A nurse arrived with a bottle of formula shortly after McGee had called for it. "Poor little lamb," she said, handing him the bottle with a sympathetic smile. "He doesn't sound very happy."

"No...no, he's not ..." MGee agreed grimly.

"Well, that should help. Good luck."

McGee watched as the nurse hurriedly left the room. "You sure scared her off," he said as he looked down at Nathaniel. He settled down on the couch and tried to get him to take the bottle, but the baby wanted no part of it. McGee could feel tension forming throughout his body as he looked helplessly at Tony's son. "Please, please stop crying," he begged as he shifted the baby's position to his shoulder. He started pacing around the room with him, feeling dangerously close to tears himself. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened to your mother and father and I'm really sorry I took your daddy's job, but I don't know how to undo it now. I like being senior field agent. I don't want to give that up."

"Timmy?"

He turned around and saw Abby staring at him sadly. "He won't stop crying, Abby...I've tried everything...I don't know what to do with him. I just...I think he hates me."

"Don't be silly," Abby said as she went to him. "He doesn't hate you. Babies aren't capable of that. Do you want me to take him?"

"Please," MccGee nodded and gratefully handed her to him.

"Shh...shh...it's okay, sweetie. I know you're having a rough time with all these changes. Its going to be okay." Abby kept talking to him and gently rubbed Nathaniel's back. It took a while, but eventually he cried himself into an exhausted sleep.

"Thank God," McGee commented softy as Abby put Nathaniel into the crib and tucked a blanket around him. "I thought he was never going to stop crying."

"Sometimes babies just get upset," Abby said as she came and sat beside him on the sofa.

"Yeah, but I've never seen him that upset. It just happened when I was with him..."

"That's just a coincidence, Timmy." Abby looked back at him intently. "You know that don't you?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, studiously avoiding her eyes.

"You...you didn't mean what you said about Tony's job, did you?" Abby asked quietly.

McGee just shrugged as Abby put her arms around him and drew him into a hug. "God, McGee you're so tense." She expertly began to massage the back of his neck. "You need to relax."

He tried hard to comply, but relaxing wasn't coming very easily to him. "You've worked so hard. You deserve to be senior field agent. No one was happier than Tony for you when Gibbs gave you the position."

"Yeah, except Tony is jobless now and he's feeling pretty bad about things. A job would give him something to focus on and make him feel better about everything." He reluctantly pulled back from Abby. "I'm on duty," he said with an apologetic smile. "I'd better not get too relaxed."

"Tony has Nathaniel to focus on," Abby stated. "You need to stop thinking like this. Tony wouldn't want you to either."

"Yeah...Gibbs said the same thing."

"And the bossman is always right," she said, getting at least a faint smile from McGee. "Speaking of Gibbs, where did he and Tony go?"

McGee sighed softly, not answering the question.

"What is it?" Abby asked uncertainly, knowing something was wrong.

"Tony is back in surgery. He's having problems with his kidney."

"Poor Tony," Abby commented softly, her eyes brimming with sudden tears. "How bad is it?"

"Gibbs said the doctor was optimistic, but I could tell he's worried."

"Well, Gibbs will always worry about Tony," Abby stated.

"Yeah...I think he'll be okay though..."

Abby nodded in agreement and the two sat together in a comfortable silence. "So what happened to your shirt?" she asked after a while, moving in closer to him and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Nathaniel christened it when I was changing his diaper."

"Oh." Abby couldn't help the giggle that escaped her and MGee grinned as well. "I'll bring you some clothes from your place later on."

"Thanks Abs. That'd be great."

xxxxx

"Agent Gibbs?" Dr. Galvin stepped into the waiting room, a smile on his face.

"How's Tony?" Gibbs asked as he got to his feet, still feeling anxious despite the reassuring smile on the doctor's face.

"The surgery went very well. I believe his kidney is going to be fine."

"Really?" Gibbs took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his body finally beginning to relax for the first time since Tony's increased symptoms. "That's good news, Doc...really good news."

"He's in Recovery now," the doctor said, beckoning to Gibbs with his hand. "Come on. I'll bring you to the Recovery Unit. He's still out, but you can sit with him if you'd like."

"Yeah, I'd like that," Gibbs said quietly as he followed the doctor. "Id like that very much."


	20. Chapter 20

AN: Sorry this has taken so long to get out. I've been extremely uninspired as of late. Thanks so much for all your nice comments and support.

Special thanks to Washington-Jones for all those reviews!

xxxxx

The first image Tony saw upon opening his eyes in the recovery room was Gibbs sitting faithfully by his side, once again. "Hey, boss...," he said, giving Gibbs a weak smile. "Feel like we've played this scene out before."

"How are you feeling, Tony?" Gibbs asked with a fair amount of concern in his eyes as he gazed down at his former agent.

"Not too bad...how...how did it go? Did they..." Tony trailed off, not sure if he really wanted to hear the answer to his question.

"You've still got your kidney," Gibbs replied softly. "Looks like you'll be keeping it too."

"Yeah?" Tony gave Gibbs a relieved look. "That's good news."

"It is," Gibbs agreed, nodding. "Why don't you try to get some rest. They'll be transferring you back to your room soon." He realized he was talking to himself though as Tony had already dropped off to sleep. He continued to keep watch over him, wondering how many more close calls the younger man would be able to escape.

xxxxx

"I guess I'd better head to work." Abby said with a sigh. She had been hoping to see Tony and Gibbs before she did so, but it evidently wasn't going to happen. She leaned down and gave McGee a kiss on the cheek. "What do you want me to get from your apartment?"

"Just clothes," Tim replied. "That's all I really need." The hospital provided pretty much everything they could ask for. They had even been given a laptop complete with wireless Internet access.

Abby nodded. "Okay. Tell bossman I can get some stuff for him as well if he wants. Have him give me a call when he gets a chance."

"Okay, Abs...Thanks. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Timmy!" She gave him another kiss and a hug and then was off.

About a half hour after Abby had left, Nathaniel, unfortunately, started to fuss again. McGee stared at the crib, motionless, for a few long moments, hoping the child would settle down on his own, but it wasn't to be. Reluctantly, he went over to the crib and reached in to pick up Nathaniel. "Hey baby boy," he crooned softly. "What's the matter? Are you missing your daddy?"

Much to McGee's astonishment and delight, the baby calmed down relatively quickly this time. "I guess you were just lonesome." He was still cuddling and talking softly to the child when Tony and Gibbs arrived a short time later. A tired-appearing Tony's eyes were immediately on Nathaniel and McGee as they passed by them. He was helped onto his bed and then he called out.

"Hey Probie, can you bring me my son, please?"

McGee walked over to Tony's bedside, carefully carrying Nathaniel. "Hi, Tony...how are you doing? Did everything go okay?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I'm good." McGee thought he looked really pale, but decided that saying that wouldn't be all that helpful. Plus, he had just gotten out of surgery. It was likely natural for him to look that way. "Can I hold him?" McGee shot a questioning look at Gibbs who gave a slight nod of his head. Tony saw what was going on but pretended not to notice as he held out his arms.

"Here you go. Your daddy's back, Nathaniel," McGee said as he handed off the baby to Tony.

"Hi, little guy, Were you a good boy for your Uncle Tim?"

"He was very good," McGee assured Tony quickly.

Tony nodded, looking down at his boy who was wrapped tightly in his arms. "I wish bad stuff would stop happening so I could just get him settled," he said wistfully. All he wanted was to be able to give his son a normal life. Was that too much to ask for?

"Things will get better, Tony," McGee said, inwardly hoping that his words were true.

Tony didn't respond. He just sat there with his head bowed, staring down at Nathaniel.

Gibbs could see that the younger man was exhausted and emotionally spent. "Mind if I spend a little bonding time with my grandson?" he asked, earning a faint smile from Tony.

"Sure...I think Nathaniel would like that."

Gibbs took the baby from Tony and held back his instinctive comment to tell him to get some sleep. From what he could see, Tony was well on his way to drifting off anyway. "How's grandpa's little boy?" Gibbs asked softly, causing Tony to smile again. He watched Gibbs interacting with his baby for a few more minutes, before he finally submitted to the sleep that had been trying to claim him.

When Tony was asleep, Gibbs beckoned to McGee and they went across the room to the sofa. "Is Tony really okay, boss?" McGee asked quietly, watching Gibbs as he smiled down at Nathaniel. He was seeing a whole different side to Gibbs. It was easy to see how infatuated he was with Tony's son.

"He will be," Gibbs stated, turning his attention from Nathaniel to McGee. "He just needs to rest and regain his strength. I take it everything has been quiet here?"

McGee nodded. "Abby came by earlier. She's bringing me some clean clothes later. Said for you to call her if you want her to bring you anything."

"Thanks. I'll probably take her up on that." He looked down at Nathaniel who had fallen back to sleep. Looks like daddy and baby are both getting their rest," he commented, smiling fondly at the infant.

_xxxxx_

"_Boss! Boss, where are you?" Tony shouted, his eyes searching the hospital room as he desperately tried to loosen the restraints that had him securely fastened to the bed._

"_Yell all you want, Agent DiNozzo," Eli smirked as he strode over to Tony's bedside. "Agent Gibbs will not be coming."_

"_You don't know Gibbs," Tony retorted, his eyes blazing. 'He'll be here and when he comes, you'll be sorry."_

"_Gibbs might have been a real life action hero during his life, but in death, he is the same as any other dead man...Dead. He won't be helping you."_

"_Wh...what?" Tony questioned, looking at Eli in shock. "He...he can't be dead...I don't believe you. You're lying."_

"_I don't care what you believe, but I assure you, he is very dead as is Agent McGee. The security in this place isn't all it was cracked up to be. Gibbs should get his money back. Oh wait! Dead men don't need money." Eli laughed as he walked over to the crib where his grandson was lying. "Oh Nathaniel. I have been waiting for this day. I will raise you and teach you everything I know." He picked up the baby and held him closely. "He's a beautiful child. He has his mother's eyes."_

"_You keep your filthy hands off him!" Tony screamed. "Let him go. You can't have my son!"_

"_But, I already have your son. He's mine now. You won't be seeing him again. Ever. Perhaps, if the mood strikes me, I will send you a yearly Christmas card with his picture on it. Or not."_

"_Give him back, let him go. Please!"_

"_Say goodbye to daddy, Nathaniel." Eli took Nathaniel's tiny hand in his own and had the child make a waving motion with it. "Bye bye, daddy. Have a nice life." _

"_Bring him back, bring him back! Please, please bring him back," Tony sobbed, but Eli was gone and he knew he would not be returning. _

xxxxx

Tony's piercing screams came out of nowhere, startling both McGee and Gibbs. Gibbs handed Nathaniel to McGee and rapidly went to Tony's side. "Tony? Tony, wake up. Come on. Everything's okay. You're safe."

"Boss?" Tony's face was bathed in perspiration and his whole body was trembling as he looked up at Gibbs. "You...you're okay? You...you're not dead?"

"I'm fine, DiNozzo. It was just a bad dream."

Tony shook his head , obviously very disturbed by whatever had happened in the nightmare. "Seemed so real..." he murmured to himself. "Wh...where's Nathaniel?"

"McGee has him. He's fine."

"I...I need to see him."

"McGee?" Gibbs called out. "Can you bring Nathaniel over here?" McGee came over carrying the infant who miraculously had remained asleep throughout Tony's episode.

"Hey, Tony...you alright?" McGee asked.

Tony nodded unconvincingly. "Yeah, yeah...I...I'm fine."

McGee nodded, inwardly thinking that Tony appeared to be anything but fine. He was obviously very upset, his eyes appearing almost haunted. "Do you want to hold him?" he asked.

Tony nodded and McGee silently passed Nathaniel to his father. Tony's arms were shaky as he held his boy and rocked him, murmuring softly, but neither Gibbs nor McGee could make out what he was saying.

Gibbs looked at McGee, then pointedly shifted his gaze towards the other part of the room, McGee nodded and quickly retreated, leaving Gibbs and Tony to talk. "You want to talk about it?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"No." Tony shook his head, still staring down at Nathaniel. "But, there is something else I want..."

"What is it?" Gibbs asked, curious.

Tony looked up at Gibbs, steadily meeting his eyes. "A gun, boss. I need a gun."

"A gun, Tony? You going to keep it holstered under your hospital gown?"

"I have a right to protect myself and my son...I want a gun."

Gibbs sighed softly, saying nothing. He hated that Tony felt this way, but he couldn't exactly blame him after what had happened. His gut still told him that Tony and Nathaniel were safe as long as they were here, but what if he was wrong? Nothing was one hundred percent. "If I was to get you a gun..." he began slowly. "You wouldn't be able to keep it on you...you can't be giving the doctors and nurses heart failure if they need to examine you."

"That's fair," Tony said nodding. "I'll keep it in the nightstand, just in case..."

"Okay." The hospital security staff wasn't going to be too pleased about it. They hadn't been all that thrilled that he and McGee were armed, insisting it was unnecessary, but they were just going to have to understand. It was likely total overkill, but Gibbs would never be able to forgive himself if anything happened to Nathaniel or Tony because he left Tony vulnerable and defenseless. Eli was clever and there was no way they could anticipate every possible move the man could make.

"Okay?" Tony couldn't hide the surprise in his eyes. He obviously hadn't expected Gibbs to give in to his request so easily. "Really?"

"Yeah, really DiNozzo," Gibbs stated. "I want you to feel safe."

"There's one more thing," Tony ventured, looking at Gibbs nervously. "I know that I was given pain medications after the surgery, but, I don't want to take any more."

"Come on, Tony...Are you trying to punish yourself?" Gibbs asked, looking none too happy with what he was saying. "Because I can't see any other reason why you would deliberately choose to be in pain. It doesn't make much sense to me."

"I just...I don't trust the way the drugs make me feel...too tired and out of it..." He shook his head. "Its not good to be like that...especially now. I need to stay alert."

"Its not like they'll knock you unconscious, Tony...McGee and I have your six. You can't just stay awake all the time. You need to rest so you can recover."

"I just don't want them, okay?" Tony said loudly, causing McGee to look over at them from across the room.

"Not my decision to make, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, mildly, refusing to get into it with Tony who was understandably overwrought and irritable. "You're going to have to talk to the doctor about this, not me."

"I will then," Tony said, stubbornly. "He can't force me to take them."

"I still don't think this is in your best interest, Tony," Gibbs said softly. "I know the nightmare upset you, but..."

"Its not because of the nightmare," Tony retorted.

"Okay, but even so...this place has top notch security. I've checked it out myself and its very impressive. High ranking political officials have stayed here. I honestly think you're safe."

Tony looked back at Gibbs, his resolve wavering. He trusted Gibbs, knew he'd move heaven and earth to keep them from harm, but then he looked down at his son, lying in his arms, and he knew he needed to be strong for him. "Nobody's going to take you from me, little guy," he whispered. "Daddy will protect you, no matter what."


	21. Chapter 21

_Hi everybody So…its been a really, really long time since I've updated stories or done any writing at all. Basically, real life took over and I just seemed to stop writing altogether. I just couldn't get my head into it. I never lost interest in the show though – it's still my favorite - and recently I've been feeling the urge again to write. I really want to finish the two stories I left undone (and hopefully some new stuff as well). I'm starting out with this one for now – not yet sure if I will stick to one at a time or work on "The Accident" simultaneously. We'll see how it goes. I apologize to anyone who was reading this way back when I started it. I didn't intend to abandon it. I'll try to do better now if anyone is still reading _

xxxxx

Ducky watched as Gibbs paced back and forth outside Tony's Pavilion room. "He's making me nuts, Duck," Gibbs said, running his hand back through his hair as he uncharacteristically rambled. "No one can talk any sense into him. He's obviously in pain, but he's stubborn as hell. Won't touch any pain medicine, not even a damn Tylenol. I don't get it. Is he just trying to punish himself or trying to punish me? What the hell is he doing?" He'd been watching Tony suffering for over a day now, barely sleeping, in obvious pain. It was driving him to distraction and affecting McGee as well. They were both at a loss as to what to do.

"Jethro, calm yourself," Ducky said in his most soothing tone. "Let me try to talk to the boy."

"It's not going to do any good. He won't listen to you, won't listen to anyone," Gibbs muttered.

Ducky couldn't help but notice how tired Gibbs looked…tired and worried. "Well, it can't hurt for me to try," Ducky insisted. He gave Gibbs' shoulder an encouraging squeeze and opened Tony's door.

"Hey, Ducky," McGee greeted the older man as he entered the room.

"Good afternoon, Timothy," Ducky answered, giving the young man a once over with his eyes. "I trust you are well?"

"I'm fine, Ducky. Yourself?"

"I'm fine as well, my boy." Ducky smiled at McGee and made his way over to Tony's bedside, pausing on his way to admire Nathaniel who was sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of the turmoil around him. "Hello, Anthony. How are you feeling today?" Ducky asked when he had reached Tony's side. The answer was painfully clear. Tony's complexion was unnaturally pale and lines of pain etched his face.

"Hey, Ducky. I'm good," Tony uttered hoarsely. "How are you?"

Ducky had to fight to keep his composure. "Anthony. I have known you for a very long time and I think you and I can both agree that you most certainly are not good. In fact, I would say you are feeling the opposite of good."

"Well then, why did you even ask?" Tony retorted, making no attempt to hide his annoyance. He shifted in his bed and grimaced as a bolt of pain shot through his chest.

Ducky shook his head, entirely able to see why Jethro was as frustrated as he was. "Just out of curiosity…what exactly are you trying to accomplish?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ducky." Tony narrowed his eyes as he looked up at the older gentleman. "I'm just trying to recover so I can get out of the hospital and take care of my son."

Ducky shook his head at the answer. "Well we both know that's not true, unless you are also lying to yourself."

"Are you saying I don't want to get better?" Tony asked, raising his voice. From across the room, McGee shifted uncomfortably on the couch, wishing he was anywhere else but in that room.

Ducky sighed loudly. "I'm not sure exactly what to say to you, dear boy. All I know is that you are causing Jethro a great deal of pain at the moment. He thinks you are trying to punish him and I have no idea why you would want to do that." Ducky deliberately omitted Jethro's theory about Tony punishing himself.

"What?" Tony looked up at Ducky in surprise then lowered his eyes while biting his lower lip. "He…he said that?" he asked softly. He could feel the guilt beginning to gnaw at the inside of his stomach.

Ducky nodded. "He did. However, I know this can't be true. There is no reason why you would ever punish the man who dropped everything and flew to Italy at a moment's notice when you needed him…the man who cares about you as he would his own son…who would do anything in his power for you and your child." Ducky had a hard time getting the words out, knowing the effect they would have on Tony, but something needed to be done and this was the only thing he could think of which could possibly work.

The words did indeed hit home and all of the fight seemed to leave Tony at once. "You're right, Ducky," Tony said softly. "I…I would never want to punish Gibbs. He…he's done everything for me and Nathaniel." He hadn't even been thinking of Gibbs or how he might be feeling. He'd been acting irrationally and selfishly.

"So perhaps you will consider taking some pain medication?" Ducky asked. "I hear that your blood pressure is becoming quite out of control. It's nothing to be fooling around with, Anthony. You are not helping yourself…or your son."

Tony nodded. "Yeah…yeah, I'll take something…just nothing too intense. I…I don't want to be so out of it that I can't protect Nathaniel if I have to."

"Understood," Ducky said with a slight nod. However, he really couldn't imagine a scenario in which Tony would be put into that predicament, with both Gibbs and McGee on protection detail.

Ducky visited with Tony for a short while longer, smiling his approval when Tony remained true to his word and accepted some pain medicine from the nurse. He then left the room, promising to return the next day for another visit. Gibbs was still outside in the hallway, but was no longer pacing. Instead, he stood with his back against the wall, seemingly deep in thought. "Hey Duck," Gibbs said as he came out of his reverie to meet Ducky's gaze. "Any luck?"

A trace of a smile came across Ducky's face. "As a matter of fact…"

"Really?" Gibbs cracked a smile as well. "How did you manage that?" he asked, surprised by Ducky's success when he'd had no luck whatsoever getting through to Tony.

"Guilt," Ducky replied.

"Guilt?" Gibbs echoed then nodded. He could easily see how guilt would work on Tony though he wouldn't have thought to use that particular tactic in this case. "Nicely done, Duck. I'm grateful."

"I'm just glad I could help in some small way, Jethro," Ducky replied. "We both want what's best for Anthony. Hopefully, he will be a bit more cooperative now and his road to recovery will be a little less bumpy."

The two men chatted for a few minutes longer and then Gibbs excused himself to head back into Tony's room. He was eager to see for himself if the younger man's attitude really had changed.

xxxxx

"McGee…why don't you take a break," were the first words Gibbs uttered as he re-entered Tony's room. "Either get some shuteye or get out of here for a little while, whichever you need." The young man looked weary and Gibbs didn't want him getting rundown.

"Thanks, boss." McGee stood up and stretched. "I'll just take a walk and be back soon. Can I get you anything?"

"Maybe some coffee," Gibbs replied.

McGee nodded. "No problem, boss."

Gibbs watched as McGee left the room then walked over to Nathaniel's crib. The infant was still asleep and Gibbs gazed at him for a few moments, inwardly vowing once again to keep him and his father safe.

"Ziva?" The name, coming from Tony, drew Gibbs' attention away from Nathaniel. He made his way to Tony's bedside and was relieved to find him sleeping calmly. Whatever dream he was having appeared to be a pleasant one. At least Gibbs hoped that was the case. He could well remember his own vivid nightmares after Shannon and Kelly had been killed. He absently began fussing with the covers on Tony's bed, pulling them tighter around Tony, then smoothing them out. He stopped abruptly when he felt Tony's eyes on him.

"Sorry," Gibbs said, feeling like an overprotective mother hen. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," Tony said.

"You're looking a little better," Gibbs observed. It was obvious the pain medicine was starting to do its job.

"Yeah…I feel better too," Tony said, offering a slight smile. "Is Nathaniel asleep?"

Gibbs nodded.

"Listen, boss…I'm really sorry that I…well that I haven't been as appreciative as I should have been. I'm very grateful for everything you've done for me and I want you to know that I'm taking the pain meds now. I won't give you any more trouble."

"You haven't given me any trouble, Tony," Gibbs replied. He didn't want Tony beating himself up any more than he already was. "I'm just worried about you, that's all. I just want you to get well." He wondered about Tony's request for a weapon the day before. He hadn't yet done anything about. He was actually hoping Tony just wouldn't bring it up again. Although he had agreed to the request at the time, he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea.

"Yeah, well I…" Tony trailed off, suddenly exhausted, the pain medication working in alliance with his recent sleeplessness. "I think I'm going to try to sleep now." He allowed his heavy lids to close as he began to drift off.

"Best thing for you," Gibbs said gruffly. He sat with Tony, watching as his breathing evened out into a steady rhythm, and stayed beside him for a long while after.


End file.
